Out of control jealousy - Help!

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by bluecatalyst, Feb 8, 2014.

  1. bluecatalyst

    bluecatalyst Member

    Feb 8, 2014
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    I'm in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend. She's in the military and unfortunately my career leaves me stuck 1,000 miles away from where she's stationed right now. We've been together for 3 years - a big part of that apart.

    The out of control jealousy is mine. I don't even know what to do at this point. Every time she hangs out with someone else I get insanely jealous. Part of the jealousy is due to the fact that I found out a year into our relationship that she still had feelings for her ex. And then a year ago she went to visit her and spent the night. That didn't help. I've tried to forgot about it but I can't. She takes complete responsibility for her role in all of this. And I think she's really tried to show me that she loves me.

    I'm very confused because I am usually the most laid back person and I've never felt this way. And it's horrible. I hate feeling this way. I can't control how I feel but I'm making both of us miserable. She shouldn't have to feel like she has to stay at home all of the time and never talk to anyone. And I shouldn't have to be pissed off and miserable all of the time. She gets out and plans on moving up with me next year but at this point I'm not even sure we'll last to see it. Any advice anybody can give me would be greatly appreciated!
  2. deaddance

    deaddance Active Member

    Mar 30, 2014
    Likes Received:
    You won't like this advice, but either get counseling (because the insecurity is hurting the both of you) or break up with her. Forgiving and forgetting is really hard but unless you can do that you're going to continue to feel displaced feelings that do not make any sense and will only consume you. Basically, as things are the relationship is really bad for you. It seems like your jealousy is not unwarranted but jealousy is extremely unproductive both short term and long term.
    Also, if you can. Try really hard to see this from a third party perspective.

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