ot's really hard to meet femmes where I live

Discussion in 'Advice on Meeting Women' started by bluememoirs, Jun 22, 2017.

  1. bluememoirs

    bluememoirs New Member

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    Hello! I'm a new member of this forum lol so this is my very first time posting here. Recently I just came out to my parents and for the most part it went well. So now I've come to terms with my sexuality and embracing it. I go to a PWI in CT that is VERY straight, for the most part. However, I've yet to meet any femmes that I can relate to around my area (whether it is friendship wise or even trying to start dating). I'm sorry, but I have a huge attraction to femme girls :3. Being a femme myself, it is really hard for me to be noticed by other femmes (if they are any) around this town where I live while also being harrased and bothered by men that I'm clearly not interested in. This is one of the many reasons why I want to leave CT so badly and just move to a more LGBT friendly city like New York, Philly, or Boston.

    Has anyone had this problem? Please lmk lol
     
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  2. 1234Dizz

    1234Dizz New Member

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    OK, a little advice from a headstrong butch in the back of beyond:
    First: Think statistics; chances are 1 in ten women in your town are L, B, or at least curious, (which is fun for a one-time fling if nothing else).
    Second: It is your right to flirt with women you like regardless. You'll make good friends and get practice even if you don't strike gold.
    Third: you can be lonely and in a desert in the middle of a pride march if you have a defeatist altitude.
     
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  3. jay_bird

    jay_bird Member

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    Hey! Welcome, first of all. Second, I share your experience. But, I'll say this: to a certain degree, it's less about where you are and more about who you hang out with. For example, I'm in Philly--one of those lovely cities you mentioned you'd like to move to. :D I absolutely love this city. But, I have barely met any LGBTQ+ people at all. I'd lend it to admiting that I'm a bit of a loner and introvert, not so big on the bar or party/club scene. That being said, if you're pretty outgoing and 'active' in finding the LGBTQ+ community in your area, then you'll always have a better chance of finding like individuals. :p Have you tried getting involved in communities near you? CT is actually considered one of the more liberal states, lol.

    Anyway, I'm pretty sure I classify as femme/chapstick on most days and I can relate that it's hard to be noticed. I guess my 'gayness' isn't strong enough to be picked up on gaydar. @1234Dizz gave some good advice and truth. Attitude might make a lot of difference. I'm not sure--I'm just here to commiserate with you.
     
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