Online dating

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by Golferchick19, Dec 11, 2014.

  1. Golferchick19

    Golferchick19 Member

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    Hello All,
    So after a long time of being single and unable to meet a (gay) woman to date, I decided to join an online dating site. I ended up finding someone who interested me so I messaged her and after a little while we exchanged #'s and have been texting for a few days. We've talked about past relationships, interests, random things, just trying to get to know each other. Since this is the first time I've ever done online dating, I have some questions. How do I know if she's interested in a romantic way or just a friendly way ( her profile says she's interested in making friends, long-term dating, short-term dating)? How do I suggest we meet in person, or is it too soon? I don't have the most self-esteem, so it's hard to imagine someone wanting to date me :( Any answers/suggestions would be great! Thank you!
     
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  2. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member

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    Sometimes you just have to be upfront and brave. You can assume that if you met on a dating site that she's interested in dating (people put friendship so there don't look like a crazed stalker type). If you'd like to meet her ask her if she'd like to meet you. Yep it's a scary step to take but if you don't ask you'll never know. Good luck
     
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  3. pikatan2

    pikatan2 Well-Known Member

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    uhm... I believe in online dating and it does work sometimes, sooo I hope for the best for you and this girl :D xx
     
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  4. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    The friends thing isn't all bad as an option. If it doesn't work with her dating wise, if you stay friends she'll introduce you to her friends. More chances for you to meet lovley gay ladies.

    Go get 'em Tiger!
     
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  5. nihonto

    nihonto New Member

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    Ask if she wants to get a drink in the weekend or some other day. Don't overthink it.
     
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  6. Coffee Addict

    Coffee Addict Well-Known Member

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    You figure it out the same way you figure it out off-line. You talk, you spend time together, you ask. However, just have fun and enjoy :)
     
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  7. BizzleK

    BizzleK Member

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    Bite the bullet and ask her out! Worst that could happen is she'll say no! I don't really think there's all that much difference between online dating and offline dating now is there? You have the same risks both ways!
     
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  8. Golferchick19

    Golferchick19 Member

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    Thanks everyone for your advice! So I bit the bullet and told her that I would like to meet her but her response kind of took the wind out of my sails. She said, "I'm moving around now during the holiday season but I guess when I'm back." Idk when someone says "I guess" I just don't feel like they're very excited. Am I reading too much into it?
     
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  9. BizzleK

    BizzleK Member

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    You could be reading too much into it but yeah, not exactly enthusiastic is she!

    To be honest, I wouldn't waste too many thoughts on it, Maybe you could see what she's up to when she's back? If she wants to meet up great, if not, in the long term is it really a great loss to you?

    You could meet someone else in the meantime, there's so many people to talk to Online!
     
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  10. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member

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    There is a coolness to the response, but I wouldn't be too disheartened by it. Christmas is a crazy time for people, trying to fit in all friends and family members so trying to fit in someone new just seems unworkable. Personally I'd be worried by anyone being "excited" by the prospect of going for a coffee :) surely they'd explode by the idea of going somewhere on holiday. Enough of my jokes though, don't worry and try not to over think. Maybe she's surprised by the fact you've asked her out so she's given you a knee jerk reaction to the invite with "I guess." Keep talking to her, see how the conversation plays out, try not to put meaning into every word she says.
     
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  11. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    I wouldn't read too much into it. She's got a lot going on with the Holidays and moving and such.

    Plus, she hasn't met you to have any physical "chemistry."

    Give her some time, then ask again. I'd say 2nd week in January.

    In the mean time, keep your profile up and keep meeting other people. Maybe things will work with her and maybe they won't, but there's plenty of gay gals out there.
     
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  12. u-45597280

    u-45597280 Member

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    I had a thread very similar to this. I am also new to online dating and tried it for the first time (I was the one who was unsure whether to reply yes to the date...i'd just started a new job, timing was awful and now seasonal chaos...)

    But I would just be patient, some people, like myself, need to just get used to the idea that someone else is interested in them. I mean for me it was hard to date in real life hence going online, and from my experience I wanted to know them a little longer before 'real life' dating.
    I would just continue to talk to her online and through conversation check when its an appropriate time to ask again. If she says yes then go for it. If no, then you've still made an online friend. Stay positive and as they say if you fall off a horse, get back on!

    Goodluck!
     
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  13. TADinUS

    TADinUS Well-Known Member

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    Online and Offline... keep trying. In general, IMHO - real life is best... but depending on your options, online is understandable (especially with more LGBT in the closet than out) and if in a rural/small town - it makes it harder to meet someone.

    From my experince, Date anyone until/unless you are in a committed relationship. Keep going to clubs (dance/drink or other non-intoxicating locations) if you can. In small towns, there are sometimes underground "gay clubs".

    There are various sites out there, some for quick-hook ups, others "serious relationships" and everything in-between. A female friend of mine did a hook-up on some site with a guy and they ended becoming a very good couple... so anything can happen.

    And now that Christmas is over... things will calm down. I'm exhausted by it. :(
     
    #13

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