NSFW When should you do it with your girlfriend?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by vigilante, Sep 27, 2015.

  1. vigilante

    vigilante Well-Known Member

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    It's only been a month (but I have courted her for a year or so and have been really great friends). Last night, I made a romantic surprise for her with christmas lights, balloons, pizza, nerf guns and movies. I told her I couldn't kiss her because I was sick and didn't want her to get it. But then she started pecking me on the neck and we ended up making out. She was on top, which was really a turn on. We were both a bit conservative, and I know I would be her first ever. I felt her intimate part on my leg, it felt like she was pressing on my leg against it, and I started to kiss her breast. She said "We've only been together a month" so I asked her if we should do it now or we should wait? Then she just kissed me passionately. I started unhooking her bra and she was still kissing me and giving me the hot look but then she suddenly said "I think we should wait" So I just kissed her slowly while hooking back her bra. We just laughed but then We Just Don't Care started to play out and we started making out again furiously and I rolled on top of her I was in between her legs and I can feel her warmth and I can feel her thrust. But I feel like she maybe turned on, but she's gonna hate herself if we did it then. So I'm not sure when should we do it? Because I don't want her to do it when she's not ready.
     
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  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    Couples decide when together and just like you knew it was not right the last time you can wait a few more dates and see how it goes. Even if you have to wait for her to initiate, it doesn't seem like you will have to wait long. Good luck and enjoy. :)
     
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  3. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Bang her.

    Ok, I am kinda kidding. You two should have sex when you are ready. You can talk to her before or during 'is this ok,' 'do you want me to stop,' etc... talking is an important part of sex, knowing what the other person wants or doesn't want. It's pretty common for couples to talk during as things escalate. It's important that there is enough trust and communication in the relationship that you can talk about sex straightforwardly- no, yes, do this, don't do that, etc... For some people that can happen quickly (one night stands), for other prople that takes time. It sounds like you two haven't talked about sex much and that having that conversation would be good for you as a couple.

    It can be hard when you come from a conservative background. But talking about sex is important so you can take care of yourself. Would you be ashamed to talk with a roommate about if they could borrow your stuff or if they needed to do dishes 50/50? No, because it's not shameful- it's important to set boundaries and take care of things. Sex is the same way, if you can't talk about stuff you can wind up in uncomfortable situations- not saying what is right for you, mis guessing what the other person wants and needs, etc...

    People can be in a different place physically versus emotionally. Someone might be really physically turned on, but not ready for sex. And vice versa. From what you described she was pretty physically ready to go, but only she can say if she emotionally was ready and wanted sex. So yeah, talk to her and see where she is at.
     
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    greylin likes this.

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