Not sure how to go about this

Discussion in 'Coming Out' started by Sunkist, Mar 6, 2014.

  1. Sunkist

    Sunkist Member

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    I want to tell my family that I'm gay and that I like girls but not sure how to go about this. Last time I tried to have a conversation about this with close family members they did not believe me.

    But looking back into the past I am pretty sure I am into girls. I had a small experience with an old friend, we did a little bit of touching (not getting into details) and it didn't bother me in the sense that it was a girl touching me. However, at that time I was 14 years old in the 8th grade and dating and being in relationship freaked me out. And back in '08 I had this vivid dream about dating the girl of my dreams. She and I shared similar interests, shared similar ideals, and she even knew some important details about me. I even remember how we met in my dreams, we met at a New Year's party that I went to with my close cousins. And at the end of this dream she gave me a small gift and told me not to open it just yet and wait till I was ready. Ever since then I took that dream as a sign.

    Recently this year in February, I told my cousin who is close to me that I am interested in girls and told her about my short experience. She was understanding about it. I want to tell other close family members about it and my best friend but I don't know how to go about it. Helpful ideas and suggestions are welcomed.
     
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  2. MaddisonLikesPandas

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    I'm not that great at advice giving, but here I go. Depending on how long you have been friends with your best friend, i'm sure they would also be understanding, something I did just before coming out was asking all my friends things like "If something happened to me, and I didn't tell you, would you get upset?" or "if I found out I was pregnant and didn't tell you would you get upset?" look I know it seems stupid but in my head if they said "yeah i'm sure you had a reason not to tell me" maybe they would say the same thing when I told them I was gay, another thing I did was mention TV shows that have a gay/bi/lesbian character in it and explain their love story, if you friends are all like "THEIR GAY???" and highly shocked and appalled, maybe tell those people last, plus if your in your 20s i'm sure your generation would be all down with gays and what not, I mean these days most people are pretty open to it, I mean i'm in high school and I cop a little shit, but I mean I just stay strong, not only that you always have to remember that you are who you are and nobody can change that and if your friends don't accepted you than they are no friends at all, but when it comes to some friends and family they may need some time to understand and take in what you just told them, every wounds heal... eventually, so it's best to just remember when you tell your friends/family your gay your pretty much telling them you have a secret life that you have hid it from them, but only because you might not have been ready to tell them earlier; Even though last time they didn't believe you, you must be ready that they might think that again and you must stick to your ground, you don't have to convince them or anyone anyway you know who you are and it takes great courage to step out and speak your mind, maybe try and tell your family with your cousin by your side, for support, When you are telling people, I don't know if the same will happen to you as me, but my heart was racing and I felt like crying from being overwhelmed but trust me the second you say it, its just a great sigh of relief, sorry if this was of no help and for most likely wasting your time, but if this was of any remote help your welcome :) - Maddison.
     
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  3. Lucyfan

    Lucyfan Member

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    I have another question along these line.

    So, I have just recently discovered I was gay. I told one of my close friends that I thought I was, and then later told her I practically new I was. The only reason I'm not 100% about is that I've never been in a relationship. I was in a two month with a guy, but we went on one "date," and his mom and brother were there. Just no. But near the end of that relationship I started to understand that I disliked being with a guy and was really uncomfortable with it. I started doing some research, as weird as it sounds, and I learned things about myself. I'm don't want to go into the big personal evolution story. The point is that now I know. What I don't know is if I should come out to more friends of family. I mean I haven't known myself for too too long, but I'm pretty the positive. My question is, should I wait until after I've been in a relationship with a girl or what?
     
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