New manager at new gym is married to a woman I was infatuated with..? Should I avoid?

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by silliputty23, Feb 24, 2017.

  1. silliputty23

    silliputty23 Well-Known Member

    Dec 30, 2013
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    I need advice.

    5-6 years ago, I fell hard for a female trainer at my gym. I was 19 going on 20. I had her as a trainer for just a couple weeks...and actually tried asking her out :oops:. This was actually the first person I ever asked out - I only did so because she was very flirty and seemed interested. I was infatuated - had never felt so strongly for someone.

    She initially said yes, and then cancelled in person with an excuse about her bf...but continued eyeing me/staring at me in the gym while with her clients, despite my refusal to even look at her. It was cruel - it seemed like she wanted some ego boost or wanted attention. I'd be doing some exercise in my usual corner, facing the mirror, and see her watching me, just 10 feet behind me, while her client was ignored. I did initially apologize to her "for making things awkward". I asked about her on this site actually way way back...she said she was sorry she made me feel that way (for thinking I'd made it awkward) and actually stepped in closer to me and started looking at my lips with a smile. You might remember...?

    I had the sense that she had talked about it with her coworkers as well as her boyfriend, now hubby, who worked with the gym company as a gym manager. I continued going to that gym for a couple years after, though worried about having potentially creeped her out. I know that it's unusual for women to get hit on by other women and it becomes fresh/exciting gossip. She and her hubby moved away several months to a year ago.

    I just recently moved about an hour and a half away. I have been driving 40 minutes to get to the next closest "super" gym (includes basketball court that I always use). Today, I was excited to find out that a new "super" location opened in the next town over from me...only minutes away....but to my disappointment, it appears that the manager designated to this location is this woman's husband. He knows what I look like. I'm positive he knows I was into his wife. I'm sure she would stop by this location to visit him from time to time and I might potentially see her.

    I'm really afraid they'll see me and think I followed them up here. I don't want them to think I'm a stalker. It's such a coincidence...this is actually a fairly small town (though growing) and there are many "super" locations across the state. I'm totally over this woman - I'm only worried about what they'll think of me if they ever saw me there.

    I do also consider that I've been making the long drive several times a week to get to the next super gym. I would save gas money and time going to the one up here. Also, I do know that managers don't stick around after hours - they go home. Maybe I can avoid seeing him if I drop by in the evening. Should I avoid this gym or just forget them/their feelings about me and check it out?
  2. rainydaze

    rainydaze Well-Known Member

    Nov 22, 2015
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    Well, you have to answer that question for yourself, I think.
    I would consider which holds more importance: the extra gas money/extra time vs. the awkardness you might feel?

    Is access to both locations included in your membership? If so, you could always check it out and if it seems weird or uncomfortable for you, then you might choose the further location.

    Your time at the gym is for Your enjoyment and Your health. You should not have to feel like you have to be on the lookout for a manager who will recognize you or that you have to dodge his wife every time you go because you don't want to be perceived as a "stalker" (your word...I wasn't implying I think that). Isn't it likely that she will be working out there regularly, since her husband is the manager? How comfortable are you with that?

    If you feel you can let it all roll off your back because it was a while ago, that is fine. But if the worry of it all is interfering with the benefits you are reaping, it may be worth the trip to have the peace of mind. It's Your choice based on your comfort level, your budget, and your time/schedule.
    Spygirl, Bluenote and silliputty23 like this.

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