Need to vent

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by AprilMay, Nov 27, 2015.

  1. AprilMay

    AprilMay Active Member

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    Ok so I have been with my partner for 5 years now. I even moved to a new country to be with her. I love her so much and I know she loves me with out a doubt. However sometimes she drives me so crazy, right now I am sick and I have lost my voice. I was getting better but come yesterday she keeps having me talk by asking me questions, and last night my voice starts to go again. I woke up this morning and its like I just went down hill. Feeling weak, cant talk and just feeling like sick all around. Now when I woke up she was so made at me and I am like really now what did I do? So whatever I make breakfast. Which last night I asked her if she can do and of course she don't want to. We ate watched a movie all was good. I start doing the dishes (something else that she hates to do) and she was telling me something and I really do want to talk. She knows I have a question and yelled at me just to say it knowing its hard for me to talk so fine granted its hard for me to talk I talked (could not write a note since I was doing the dishes and my hands are wet). So after dishes are done I tell her I will just go to the room. She does not check on me once which is fine that would be expecting too much of her at this point. She finally came into the room and told me she will go buy me medicine and she ask if I want to go and I said no. She tells me "don't you want to be sweat and go with me" and again I said no. She gets upset and leaves. Don't get me wrong my girlfriend can be amazing and she can be nice. Just right now I just needed to vent with whats going on at this second and I have no one else to talk to. Thanks for your time. God it feels good to vent.
     
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  2. Kaorin

    Kaorin Member

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    So, since you are venting, does this mean you don't want any advice? It sounds to me like minor annoyances, more than anything. I think it boils down to communication problems and it's something that you should both perhaps focus on so as to avoid it escalating to bigger problems in the future. Talk to your gf about how you feel, listen to how she feels, and work out a way past all this nonsense.
     
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  3. Eloise

    Eloise Well-Known Member

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    Your gf doesn't know how to nurture. She's lousy at feeling empathy when you're sick. When you get better you need to talk to her about it. It's time she lends a hand when you're not feeling well. If she's always like this, she seems very selfish. But, you shouldn't accept it. If you don't feel well don't get up and fix breakfast or do the dishes. It's time you said no for once. Until you do nothing will change.
     
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  4. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    Assuming that you have moved to her home country where she has an established base, and you don't, you may have come upon something that a couple of my friends have gone through.

    A couple of my friends followed their respective partners to a new country and for first number of years they would rely heavily on their partners for any kind of company. At first, it was very hard for them to establish their own social circles because of the language/cultural barriers. They have also similar stories of feeling very unattended to during the times when they really needed someone, like when they were sick and one in particular was in the hospital not understanding a word for a scheduled procedure and the guy picked that day to help his brother rebuild an engine. I am not sure why that happens but those same people were these wonderful, sensitive souls when I met them. But once they have integrated their partners into their environments they are part of their families without all the years, history and skills of integration. I have heard of others where they go to a new country and it is like duck to water but not these two friends. So it was a tremendous struggle for them and things get swept under the rug when they got better and out of the woods. So don't let this fester and make sure you communicate like others here have adviced. Hope you feel better soon and feel free to vent.
     
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