Need some advice.

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by nads, Jun 2, 2016.

  1. nads

    nads New Member

    Jun 2, 2016
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    Sorted, Ive deleted the post :)
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2016
  2. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

    Jul 2, 2013
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    You can't make yourself be in a relationship that is not right for you. And guilt is certainly no reason to stay in a relationship. It's not fair to her and it's not fair to you. Even more to the point, you can't make yourself love someone if you don't.

    You also need to recognize that you cannot be responsible for her feelings or actions. She has every right to grieve the end of the relationship, especially if the end of the relationship is not what she wanted. There's a time and place to be selfish even if it hurts (and yes it sucks and yes you question). You're not doing yourself any favors and you're certainly not allowing her to move on the way she needs to move on.

    Now, here's where the legal hat comes on (and yes, I know a little something something about the law and domestic law) because I have some questions, particularly about the child. Did you and the girlfriend make the decision to have the child together? Or, is this your girlfriend's child? Are the two of you legally married? The reason I ask is that arguably, if you and the girlfriend had the child together, then you just can't abandon that responsibility (most states mandate child support). If you're not legally married and the child is hers...well, then you likely have no responsibility at all.

    Perhaps the solution is to discuss offering temporary financial assistance to the girlfriend until she can find a place she can afford on her own, while also allow you to move out and do what you need to do for yourself. Make a 3 or even 6 month plan because staying together is helping neither of you.

    PM -- and yes, I am an attorney (who has handled family law cases). Feel free to PM me.
    nads and Gyldenragg like this.

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