My gf never wants to have sex

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Falk08, Jul 21, 2013.

  1. Falk08

    Falk08 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2013
    Messages:
    70
    Likes Received:
    0
    ojhslifjfilfjiogfiojasdgf
     
    #1
  2. RVT

    RVT Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2013
    Messages:
    314
    Likes Received:
    0
    Wake her up, if you catch my drift ~

    I would.

    No? Alright then, I'll need more information. Has she had too much to drink? People tend to pass out after the reach a certain level of inebriation. At what point did she go from horny to sleepy? When you got back to the hotel, what happened between that point to you getting on your computer to tell us about this? Did she just state she was going to sleep? Did you initiate sex with her at any point when you got back? Is she the type to initiate at all? Does she like you to come onto her? Is it normal for her to tease the fuck out of you for hours only to not follow through with what she says she wants?

    I think these are all possibilities:

    1. She had too much to drink and passed out.

    2. She likes to tease but wants you to initiate and you're not.

    3. She's a bit green and doesn't realise her teasing is pissing you off. Or perhaps she does realise and likes making you wait because it's a turn on for her or something.

    4. You just have differing sexual drives.

    As I said, will need more information.
     
    #2
  3. Falk08

    Falk08 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2013
    Messages:
    70
    Likes Received:
    0
    iofjsifzjofsalifijogfsdoijfg
     
    #3
  4. RVT

    RVT Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2013
    Messages:
    314
    Likes Received:
    0
    It's good that you are being vocal about what's troubling you - I get the impression that it is not really sinking in for your girlfriend, though. Are you being too nice? If she senses this is not a big deal for you, she's going to be less inclined to do anything about it.

    Your little getaway demonstrates my point. For you, this is a romantic opportunity, right? Different place, new surroundings, away from everyone you know, excitement. For her, it was more about going out and having a good time. Different mindsets. I am sure your girlfriend is still attracted to you but sex doesn't seem like a priority to her right now.

    As for her drinking, this acerbates the issue. Drink tends to make girls more flirtatious, they tease a lot more... that's all fine in moderation. But she is continuing past that point and it is causing her to pass out and leave you with your lady boner. You can't tell her to curb the drinking but you can try to influence it. For example, she's less likely to drink so much if you choose to stay in and have a romantic night between you. Or if you go out for dinner or a show instead of to a club or other arena where the temptation to get wasted is around.

    You must know what turns her on by now. If you don't, I suggest you find out. Maybe there are things she wants but feels insecure about talking to you about them. Talking about sex is sometimes a huge turn on. So is novelty. Are there things you would like that you don't want to admit to her?

    Keeping sex fresh is generally quite important in relationships. Yes, a natural lull is common after the initial buzz of getting together wears off, but that doesn't have to last. If your girlfriend is just finding the sex a little boring and is thus avoiding it, then the solution is simple: change the pace, flip the script.

    I feel your frustration and know what it's like. If her libido is lower than yours, you have to respect that. At the same time, she should be making efforts to meet you half way. If she is not, I think you have to be more forceful when you talk to her about this.
     
    #4
  5. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2013
    Messages:
    2,149
    Likes Received:
    963
    Agree with posters before me. Just want to add that I sense that she was doing all the drinking and teasing to not get you in the mood, but maybe to psych herself up.

    Other than psychological, find out if there is anything technical about this. Like is there any discomfort she might have during penetration, does she get a happy ending normally, that kind of thing. Anticipation might make the discomfort more pronounced. I would have very frank talks (kudos too on telling her how you felt about the teasing) about what you can tell each other during sex. For example, the one on the receiving end can be encouraged to be directing. If she had bad partners, maybe she is too timid to voice things. Try a a few no-sex dates and no matter how much you want each other, you agree not to have sex on those dates. Then you can progress to 2nd base dates and so on. See if that helps. Good luck.
     
    #5
  6. Falk08

    Falk08 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2013
    Messages:
    70
    Likes Received:
    0
    fzsjfsopf
    Thanks so much for all the advice, folks :)
     
    #6

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice