My friend **shocker** lol

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by littlenikki15, May 30, 2015.

  1. littlenikki15

    littlenikki15 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2013
    Messages:
    66
    Likes Received:
    31
    I'll try make this as short as I can but still give all the details, let me know what you ladies think is going on here...

    I became friends with this girl through sports, we have quite a bit of stuff in common, and a small group of friends in common and then have our own complete separate lives. I consider her one of my bffs but honestly don't think she'd consider me the same. She's one of my go-to people whenever I am planning or wanting to do anything. When I came out a few years ago everyone was like ya ya we know and some immediately asked if we were dating or thought we WOULD be dating soon. So many people think she is a lesbian but she swears she is straight. She makes comments like "my future bf/husband", "when I have kids", "he's so hot", etc. and she even went to male strippers recently.... Now me, people know I am gay, I'm not "out and proud" by any means and just by looking at me you can't tell. When we go out, all the ladies gravitate towards her lol and no guys do. I honestly may be in denial about liking her, it never even crossed my mind until those other people( one being my mom) brought it up a couple years ago. I laughed it off at the time but then just in the last 6 months this friend has made me wonder what the deal is.

    It all randomly started on New Years Eve, just a few people gathered at her house. I don't drink so I am always sober and she likes to get her drink on but not in a sloppy/ridiculous way. She just gets more talkative and laughs a lot, typical I guess. Sometimes she makes awkward comments towards me and I usually bite me tongue and don't say much as she tries to talk her way out of it lol Anyways, after being there for almost 4 hours she mentions that her roommate downstairs got a kitten and I almost die that there has been a cat locked up down there this whole time haha so she takes me downstairs to see it. After being down there for maybe 10 mins, as I am cuddling the cat up against my chest she moves in super close petting it, so touching me, and locks eyes with me and said something that I can't remember. All I know is that the look and closeness made me feel something and anxious so all in one motion, before I even realize it, I have backed away, am answering her and putting the cat down all at once. All I can think is, holy shit. Was she going to kiss me? She has those kind of natural "sex eyes" so it's hard to tell lol

    Jump to 2 months later and because of sports related things we spend 2 weekends in a row together in hotel rooms. Just the 2 of us. So I'm thinking, if anything is going to happen, that'll be the time. She made me super nervous at one point when my zipper got stuck and she crawled across the bed and was kneeling in front of me while trying to get it unstuck (it was like a scene out of a movie lol) I thought omg this is it. Nope. Okay good. The next weekend at an after party she was getting drunk and trying to pull me onto the dance floor but I injured my hip so it wasn't happening but I would have LOVED to be there with her. She doesn't usually drift away too far from me when we are out and about. Side note: the 1st weekend, I paid for the room and got 2 beds, this weekend she paid for the room and got 1 bed.... lol but I used my injury as a bit of an excuse for my nervousness and slept on the pull out couch instead. So again, not even close to anything happening. In between games we were sitting together watching other teams and she was sitting right against me with her legs crossed, so her one leg was in "my space" right in front of me, I so badly wanted to reach out and rest my hand on her knee. For one of our games, our team was all crammed into a small dressing room and instead of facing the wall on the other side of her she was standing right beside me, facing me and talking while topless lol it made me so uncomfortable that I wouldn't even look up while taking off my equipment until she had a shirt on lol

    As of recently, I've been getting interesting comments from her: when I invited her out "I'll skip _______ because I love you", the other day when I invited her to come to another city for pride, I said I hope it's as much fun as last year and she said "well I'll be there, so it'll be good", when I said I was skipping out on a family thing to do a sports related thing, I said they will all be pissed and she said "ya, but I will love you", then she mentioned doing an OITNB marathon that weekend too lol in the midst of these comments she was out drinking with family and friends one night and at 2am she wrote on fb "alone with my drunken thoughts" and she never writes anything on there.

    So needless to say, she is confusing me. Even though I would like to deny it, I think I am slowly developing feelings for her. I did a little self talk of, if _______ got a bf and started bringing him around would you be jealous? Yes. Okay then. But is that because we are the only lonely two left out of our group and tag along with each other to everything? Maybe. (Keep in mind she doesn't invite me to anything with her other friends or family. Most of them don't even know who I am). We are spending the day together tomorrow but what I am really looking forward to is two weeks from now when we will have our little weekend getaway for pride and then the weekend after when we have our sports thing and OITNB marathon when she said she would love me if I spent the weekend with her instead of my family. I honestly think this is building up a bit and that these two weekends will give me answers. And terrify me lol
     
    #1
  2. knickerbockerglory

    knickerbockerglory New Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2013
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    2
    This story sounds exactly like the beginnings of my own relationship. We dont want to think we are reading into things when our closeted love interests start sending subtles signals, just in case we are wrong and get tarred with the crazy lesbian brush. But i think if your intuition is usually accurate and it tells you there is something there, there usually is. I would just keep being available and spending time alone with her and let things happen in due course. As she is closeted, she might feel the onus is on her initiate the first real moment. The situation with the cat might have been an attempt at that but unfortunately you were taken aback by it. If you get confident enough that she does indeed want you, then you could relieve her of that responsibility. If you remain unsure i would leave it up to her, but give her plenty of opportunities by being available. You dont want the day she is feeling brave to be the day you preferred to do something else.
     
    #2
  3. littlenikki15

    littlenikki15 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2013
    Messages:
    66
    Likes Received:
    31
    Thx for replying and ya, my plan is to not do anything myself haha like I said, I MAY be developing feelings for her but I'm not totally sure. I think my own actions could definitely be sending her the wrong vibes though, ie: sleeping in separate beds, backing away from a possible kiss, etc. I also always make myself available for her and she usually does the same.
    We spent the day together today but there wasn't really anything, sitting close, I commented about how I lose so much hair and she was laughing and picked a couple pieces off of my sweater. Then she mentioned the guy/bf/husband thing a couple different times. She also brought up the topic of when she was 17 or so and playing hockey on a team and was only really friends with this one girl that all the other girls hated because they thought she was a lesbian and she said people always thought she was too because she was always with the other girl... I've heard that story a few times lol
    Remember how I said I've never hung out with any of her other friends or family? Well today we were around 3 of her "other" friends that I don't really know and a butch lesbian that I know of came walking by and her bff said something about "dyke" and the other girl looked and said "haha, you think?" ..................... REALLY.
     
    #3
  4. sjk1985

    sjk1985 New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2015
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    2
    Sounds like she is a flirt to be honest and may well be attracted to females but it doesn't sound like she would be in a serious relationship with one. She sees herself with a man in her future and kids. Typical "Gay until graduation" scenario at best. You may get a kiss and maybe more if that's what you want but don't put your heart on the line.
     
    #4
  5. littlenikki15

    littlenikki15 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2013
    Messages:
    66
    Likes Received:
    31
    I don't WANT a kiss or anything like that. The thought of her possibly liking me or anything more than a friendship with her actually scares me. I agree that maybe she does possibly like girls or maybe there's just something about our relationship, we have many things in common especially two sports we are so obsessed with and I am always available for her. Plus, like I mentioned before, we are the only "lonely" two single people out of OUR circle of friends. Last weekend when we were talking about the dressing room thing with sports, I brought up the fact that I am 100% more uncomfortable in our dressing room than any of the straight girls would be with me in there. I focus on it way more, making sure to not look around too much, I don't shower with them, etc and my two friends (one being her) just kind of nodded and didn't know what to say.
    The next night she randomly texted me saying how her two friends, both of which only ever dated guys had been secretly dating for a year and a half and she just found out, she thought they were just bffs lol I wrote this big long reply saying that must have been shocking but I'm not one to say anything bc I had a hard time telling ppl, but maybe if I was dating someone that would have changed... also, some ppl just like to keep relationships private or find it exciting kind of "sneaking around with someone", etc. and all she said was "ya that's true and I bet it would be hard. on a completely random note..." and then she sent me a video of a crazy commercial for miracle water and I commented on it then she said maybe it can help with my love life and Chris Hemsworth will show up at my door......... lol she really turned that conversation around! Why would she even text that to me and then not really want to talk about the subject?
     
    #5
  6. littlenikki15

    littlenikki15 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2013
    Messages:
    66
    Likes Received:
    31
    This relationship/friendship is still at the exact same place haha her making comments and giving me some looks the way she always does but nothing more. Tomorrow will be another all nighter of partying.... see what it has in store for us!
     
    #6
  7. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2013
    Messages:
    2,149
    Likes Received:
    963
    She is drowning some stuff (denial, etc) with alcohol and I don't know about you but that is a major flag for me. If you want to say anything, sometimes, a well placed, "Hmm, you are drinking a lot lately, what's up?" Or even leave out the What's up. A word from a peer weighs more than any parent.

    I don't like getting on or even getting attention from drunk people. Getting with a girl who is impaired is not ok for guys and same goes for us. I think you are good to have gotten away from her each time she had a couple. You have good instincts. If she comes on to you again all tipsy with those sex eyes (honestly the eyes thing sounded hot) offer her some water and try to get her to talk about herself. Maybe there is some family disapproval of gays? Maybe simply have a deep talk about your coming out process as a lead in. Good luck and I think you are smart and you will figure things out with her.
     
    #7
  8. littlenikki15

    littlenikki15 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2013
    Messages:
    66
    Likes Received:
    31
    I think you may have interpreted that wrong. I know this seems bad bc the situations involve drinking but it's only a handful of times through the span of almost a year lol I have an extensive background with addictions and believe me, she doesn't have a problem. She doesn't get completely wasted and usually ends the night off by drinking a couple glasses of water before we leave anywhere. Also, the only time she POSSIBLY tried something with me was that New Years night but I'm still not sure what that was.
    We went out for a bit tonight after a sporting event and she randomly paid for my stuff which was weird. I've never seen her do that with anyone but she said it's because I drive her around a lot and whatever and our other friend was like that's because she loves our company! We're so much fun etc haha again, I don't drink so any time we do go out for anything I always drive.
    I vaguely told them about a girl at the gym who twice tried to start up a conversation with me, once with a compliment and how we always got cut off by other people and haven't been able to actually talk. But before I could really get/notice a reaction from her our other friend was like YOU have to say something, YOU have to talk to her first and then talked about something else and the friend in question here just stayed quiet. GYM GIRL IS A WHOLE OTHER STORY! lol and actually has my interest way more right now. But you know. We're both girls so...... For the most part we just go by each other without saying anything and then I beat myself up about it all day lol
     
    #8
  9. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2013
    Messages:
    2,149
    Likes Received:
    963
    So good that I am wrong, lol! Good luck with this new girl.

    Edit, I re-read this and I think maybe my words were too strong. I did not mean to suggest she was an addict. In your collage of the incidents you mentioned alcohol in the stories. I am suggesting that she was using liquid courage or just trying to numb some feelings that she can't understand. I was actually praising you for not responding when she was tipsy. You seem to be sensible and surrounded by good people on your team. That is really good to hear.
     
    #9
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2015
  10. littlenikki15

    littlenikki15 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2013
    Messages:
    66
    Likes Received:
    31
    Ya, she's a tough cookie to figure out. We've been good friends for about 3 years now and it's involved weekends alone in hotel rooms, being alone at her home, me driving her home a handful of times when she's had too much to drink.... I really don't think anything will happen. I'm lucky so far that I haven't fallen hard into the whole "I'm in love with my best friend and have to tell her bc I can't function" stage lol I am aware though that if she were to get a bf I would most likely be jealous. I'm not sure she really liked the topic of the girl from the gym either though and our other bff telling me that I HAVE to talk to her next time I see her.
     
    #10

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice