My Coming Out Letter (Bisexual - to Conservative HK parents)

Discussion in 'Coming Out' started by Alison Yung, Dec 24, 2014.

  1. Alison Yung

    Alison Yung New Member

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    Hi fellow lesbians,

    I (bisexual in a lesbian relationship) am planning to come out to my parents right after Xmas and I thought to also share with you my 'coming out' letter to all. Hope this might give some inspiration to those who have not yet left their closets.

    You can read the full letter here.

    Happy Holidays!

    ~AW
     
    #1
    Last edited: Dec 26, 2014
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  2. Just Me

    Just Me Well-Known Member

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    Let us know how it goes... Hopefully it goes well, good luck!
     
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  3. Alison Yung

    Alison Yung New Member

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    I came out to my parents verbally last night on Boxing Day (Dec 26th), I felt that for them, this should not come in the form of a letter, so I told them directly.

    As expected, it did not go down well with my mom. She told me she could not accept, and if I tried to further elaborate or explain, she said she will not listen and she did not want to know. I knew that whatever I say at that point will be useless. Because we had family dinner with some relatives on her side and our presence is expected, she and I reluctantly went but she remained an awkward silent throughout, looking sullen for the rest of the evening. By the time my she and I got home, she started crying.

    My dad, on the other hand, was very supportive. Unfortunately, due to a retreat he had signed up for long ago. He was not able to stay for the rest of the evening, he will only return Sunday morning.

    I am not sure how long this silent treatment will last and I know it will take time for her to come around. My only concern is that she will again use this against herself, and inflict another round of cancer or dreaded disease because she could not help stressing, worrying or feelng depessed over this.

    Today, i decided to retreat and give her some time to rest and think things through. My presence will not help any, so I won't be returning home until evening.

    Will post new updates later.
     
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  4. TADinUS

    TADinUS Well-Known Member

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    Congratulations...
    While it didn't go off as best as you wanted, it wasn't as bad as many others (kicked out / dis-owned), and it is sometimes harder with Asian families (from experience with dating Asians and my friends who are Asians).

    (I just read your coming out page) - That is an excellent page! Its great that you made it and its something that other gay people can use... You've really hit all the important questions.

    I hope your father is able to help your mother. You are still their little girl. They raised and loved you, why should any of that change? Its easy for some people to understand that... but not everyone. Some parent's may think its their fault or something "happened" which turned you gay, etc. But in the end, it would be great if being gay/bi/trans is simply "just is". Where a woman can ask another woman out for a date, innocently enough like a man would - and if she wasn't a lesbian, it would simply be "No thanks, I'm not gay." and not care or be insulted.


    To others: I highly recommend you read her coming out letter. To share it with others who are gay/bi (men and women). Its well done and has a FAQ so you're not saying the same thing, over and over again. "No, I don't hate guys, no I wasn't converted", etc.

    Also, congratulations with your soul-mate.
     
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