Moving a bit fast?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by daydreamer33, Apr 7, 2015.

  1. daydreamer33

    daydreamer33 Active Member

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    Hi,
    I'm in my mid twenties and I've only had one serious relationship, so I need a bit of advice about a woman I just started dating. We met through an online dating site and started chatting. We immediately hit it off and found that we have lots in common. We finally met, had our first date and it went really well. At this point we've only had the one date, but we have another planned.

    My concern is that she seems keen to move our relationship forward quite quickly (at least in my view). I'm not necessarily talking about sex, she hasn't suggested we jump into bed or anything. However when we were discussing a location for a second date, she suggested her place where she lives with her parents. She just moved back to town after finishing university, so she is staying with them for a while.

    For me it seems a bit unusual to meet parents on a second date (once you finish high school). I always thought of it as a bit of a milestone to meet someone's parents. I'd be keen to hear other opinions on this. She also gave me a gift on our first date, which was very sweet, but maybe a bit much?

    I don't want to stop seeing her, but I'm a tad concerned about why she seems so keen to move quickly. Am I being paranoid here? I think I am going to suggest meeting out somewhere for the second date, but I'd love to hear some opinions about what is "too fast".
     
    #1
  2. lorienczhiu

    lorienczhiu Well-Known Member

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    Maybe she's moving fast... or maybe she just wanted to cuddle in the den and watch a movie and make out, and knows her parents will be out. Maybe she doesn't have a lot of money right now, and doesn't want to be a cheapskate somewhere out. Maybe she is very close with her mom, and dished about your first date. Maybe she loves to cook, and wants to show off her prowess by making you souffle. Maybe she's a little embarrassed that she lives with her parents, and wants to make sure it's not a thing. Or maybe she's wants to propose next week but needs mom's permission to get grandma's ring (jk! probably).

    I don't know, and neither do you - so assume the best! Certainly keep your eyes open and be aware of your worries, because moving real quick can be a red flag in lots of ways. But the things you describe aren't necessarily moving too fast - there are lots of benign, functional reasons people might behave that way, and only getting to know her better will give you insight into what's motivating her.
     
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