Lover, you should have come over...

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by affinite, Apr 25, 2014.

  1. affinite

    affinite Member

    Apr 25, 2014
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    Okay so this is the first time I felt like I've needed advice like this... as generally I'm able to garner perspective. Could possibly be a bit long...

    A bit of background information...
    So I just moved to a new city, almost 3 months ago now, I transfered with a new job and generally have had to start over from the beginning. I just got out of a long-term relationship not long ago... I'm mixed about this. I am a very spiritual person and believe a lot in universal connections, soul groups and love at first sight. Which to say is what (I feel) happened with this girl.

    So the first time we met it was instant attraction... we became inseparable pretty quickly, hanging out outside of work, during work and making sure when their were side projects that we would be partnered up together. We flirted a lot (in the early stages I wasn't out to everyone at work, I mean if someone asked I would tell them that I'm gay, no point hiding because it becomes obvious ;-)), had lots of eye contact and complimentary quips. Now we are both very naturally affectionate, flirty and like to joke with everyone. I think this is why we get on so well, we have such a similar sense of humor and outlook on life.

    So I have to mention that she is 10 years younger than me... and sometimes the maturity level is noticeable. For example she goes out on the town a lot more often than me and hooks up with random people quite consistently and generally drinks to get drunk.

    Anyway so things started to progress, and I decided to do an energy healing session on her. She was very nervous being in a vunerable situation. When I connected my energy to hers something happened that opened up a channel in myself that I never knew existed. Very intense. Visions. Colors. Heat. After the session we talked about various things, I came out to her and talked a little about my break-up, and she came out me and told me about her previous experience (she has also just moved towns because she was pretty much run out of the last for being into girls). So she's not out to anyone else, except now my flatmates and me...

    So from that moment something changed in both of us. And we both have inspiration and creativity that neither of us knew we had inside of us. She's always at mine because I believe she feels the most free. To be herself and make jokes about girls and liking girls etc.

    So things started to intensify between us... we made any excuse to touch each other, hung out, caressed, flirted. Having a really good time. One night we were at my place and she just got up and decided to go home. I let her but felt something was not right. I talked to one of my flatmates about it and she basically told me to go to her house and stop being an idiot its obvious she likes me... I agreed so went to her house, she opened the door and I said that its obvious we have a deep connection, she agreed so I kissed her... and it was hot... really hot. Fireworks hot. The make-out session lasted for a long time, it was very passionate and was really leading somewhere. She pushed me off and just looked bewilded and said 'wow'! We agreed to take it slower. Which I liked because she usually hooks up with whoever so I thought maybe it meant I was special in a way.

    So that night we talked and kissed and laughed and when i left her house she gave me something personal and then took my face between her hands and kissed me gently goodbye. Needless to say I was happy.

    So we made a date for the next day. In the morning I texted asking her how she was and she cancelled the date saying she had family stuff to do. Okay, fair enough. The next day we see each other at work. Nothing. Not even a hello or anything. I ask her how she is doing and she practically ignores me... now because i consider myself an empath this change in energy really starts to effect me. She walks around and hugs and touches and flirts with everyone but me now. I then walked up to her when we were alone and I said "so where is my hug?" she said I could hug her and I did but she was completely frozen and closed. It felt so weird. I kept flirting with her, she kept knocking me back. I asked if we could see each other outside of work and she keeps saying she'll get in contact... she never does. Now I see all these photos of her at parties on FB...

    So the questions I have is... Do you think she is just scared of something too intense? Is that why she wont touch or flirt with me anymore? Has she realised its a mistake and she doesnt want to lead me on so instead of communicating it she shuts down? Is she scared of being in a relationship with a girl? (although I know she had an on/off thing with a straight girl that broke her heart recently)... Its near impossible to talk to her about it... and she keeps going out of her way to do things for other people like Im a complete afterthought and dont matter... So should I just leave it and not bother with possible mind games? But its so difficult because we work together and see each other all the time. We also have similar friends outside of work. This girl has me totally going crazy... I can't stop thinking about her... even my dreams are riddled with her...
  2. J

    J Well-Known Member

    Jul 3, 2013
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    Wow, that's intense and brutal. It really hurts to have someone cut you off like that.

    I don't have much experience romantically, but from what I can see, she seems scared. Shes gay right? You mentioned that came out to you. Aside from that girl who broke her heart, do you know much about her background? Has she been hurt a lot in her past? Perhaps that's why. Maybe she is scared of being with a girl as you mentioned if she is just coming into her 'gayness'.

    Since you work together that's even worse. I think you should either approach her in person or send her a message to tell her that you feel things haven't been the same between you to since the night you kissed and because she keeps avoiding you, you can't even clear the air and it hurts you because you miss her. You definitely shouldn't just leave it without trying to talk to her again, but be really direct with her so she has no choice but to address the issue, whatever the issue may be.
  3. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

    Jul 11, 2013
    Likes Received:
    OK. Well, it is very hard to answer questions like this as we can't know what the other girl is thinking, we can only rely on ur description of events to decipher what is going on...With that in mind, a bit of a red flag shot up for me when you described her reaction to the kiss. I don't think it was all 'Yay, I'm happy'...I think it was more like 'Wtf is going on here?' The way you feel/describe/experience things is pretty intense and you have given your interactions with her a large role in your personal/spiritual development. It might be pretty heavy for her if she is not on the same page as you, and really I doubt she is if her reaction is anything to go by. I reckon you need to find out if she sees you only as a friend. That is the question you need to ask, because the main reason she would shut down so categorically is because she doesn't like you. If she liked you and was scared or something...well you would get some glimmer. She is single and she shags girls, so she would have no reason to shut down that much. So yea, mate, I'm sorry and I hope I'm wrong, but I think you need to backtrack. Cut out the flirting and all that (cause if she was doing it for casual fun, she won't do it now if she thinks you want something else), and maybe apologize for kissing her if it wasn't what she wanted and see if she will open up to you then.

    Good luck

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