Losing hope

Discussion in 'Advice on Meeting Women' started by skittletiger66, Jul 3, 2015.

  1. skittletiger66

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    So I'm turning 26 soon and still haven't had much experience with women or had a gf yet and I'm really starting to lose hope. I have no clue how to meet other lesbians around my age and it's been a struggle. I've even tried online dating sites and haven't had much luck. I feel like I could totally hit it off with someone if I had more opportunities to make friends with other lesbians but I guess I don't really know how to meet them. It also doesn't help that I can be a bit of an introvert. I don't really know what to do at this point and am seriously scared it's too late for me and that I might be alone forever...
     
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    Last edited: Jul 3, 2015
  2. aussie_gabby

    aussie_gabby Well-Known Member

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    Hey there,

    Well what do you like to do? And you from a big city of a small town? Meet up is good for meeting groups of ladies.

    Don't worry about being a bit of an introvert, most people can be a bit introverted.
     
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  3. MLL

    MLL Member

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    Hey,

    I think most people can really relate to the following point, I know I sure can.

    "I've had a lot of worries in my life most of which never happened" - Mark Twain


    Don't ever start to lose hope, keep holding onto it no matter what as things do get better.

    I 'm 25, and have by no means had much experience yet either.

    There are definitely options when it comes to trying to meet others, just a couple of suggestions:

    1. If you've got a local LGBT group try head along to one of their meetings.
    2. What sort of hobbies have you got ? you could try find some groups to join and the more you expand your group of contacts the more likely you are to meet/ be introduced to other LGBT people.
    3. You mentioned you already tried online dating sites which is always another option & aussie_gabby already mentioned Meet up which is a good way to meet other ladies and quite often you'll find LGBT groups there for just about every hobby you could possibly imagine.

    perseverance is priceless, live your life with no regrets and never let fear hold you back.
     
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  4. skittletiger66

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    Yes I live in a big enough city and I've checked out LGBT meetups but the seem to mainly have members 30+ and a lot of times it's mainly gay men that attend. I've been to a few other meetups too that share my interests but I haven't really met anyone there either. I will keep trying though.
     
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  5. skittletiger66

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    I can definitely relate to that quote lol. I'm trying to lose hope but it's hard to stay motivated sometimes when you keep getting disappointed =/. Yes I've tried a few meetups. They were pretty cool seems to be mainly straight people but who knows. I do plan to keep attending some. The LGBT ones however tend to have an older crowd.
     
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  6. wonderlust

    wonderlust Well-Known Member

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    I think I'm taking the last brownie on this thread. I live in one of the most conservative countries in the Middle East... Grew up in a very Arab culture as an outsider (expat all my life)... Meeting my own kind around these parts don't work, since single folks keep it on the real down low. You'll come across lesbians who are married for the sake of it, some of them with girlfriends on the side while others well, just look for their needs" to be met.

    Anyway, I still managed but for an almost 30 chap, I have very few gay friends and not a lot of lesbian ones. So for as long as you're not where I am, you've still got it good.
     
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  7. TADinUS

    TADinUS Well-Known Member

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    30+ isn't old you know... Its 5 years from you. So make some new friends ~ even if they are gay guys, learn places to meet other women and such. I've been with people 15 years older and younger than myself.

    I'm an introvert too. It takes some work to deal with it. My SO is not, and yet we both have fun going out and being social. Also, I was over 40 before I finally meet someone to be with for the rest of my life. It'll take experience - both good and bad to find that right woman for you.
     
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  8. skittletiger66

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    Yea I see what you're saying. I guess I figured that they are little too mature for me since I'm a lot more inexperienced. I also feel women 30+ are at different points in there lives whereas I'm just getting started. Wouldn't that be kind of a turn off to them anyway?

    And even though I consider myself an introvert I still know how to come out of my shell and hang with people. I have improved over the years thank goodness lol. For the most part I struggle more with making the first move. After that's out of the way I'm usually fine.
     
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  9. skittletiger66

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    Yes that gives me some perspective, I'm sorry you have to deal with that but I do know what it's like to feel like an outsider. Did you ever consider moving? Maybe even to another country?
     
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  10. wonderlust

    wonderlust Well-Known Member

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    Yes I have, but the thing is, I still consider this place home. I've only really considered going just because of my gender but other than that, I like it here (Stockholm syndrome?lol). Anyway, I make the most with my situation and have plans B and C down the line.

    Even though I do crave to mingle with a community and possibly normally date someone, I honestly focus myself on work and simply doing things I love and surrounding myself like-minded people (gay or otherwise)... I think eventually someone may come along and all but what's important for me at least, is that if they don't arrive or take too long, I'm still gonna be cruising along and just enjoying who I am :)
     
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  11. TADinUS

    TADinUS Well-Known Member

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    Have you seen some of the women in their 40s~50s? On another website - there is a woman in cos-play, flat belly, muscular, middle-class... mother of four at 42years of age. Her face looks about 33, her body, that of a 22yr old unless she photoshopped :)

    At my age, I'm on the dance floor sometimes going up against 25yr olds until I get tired or teaching others how to couple's dance. You're four years for from 30. Yeah, its but a number and people tend to re-evaluate their lives at 30, 40, 50, etc. You have nothing to lose to date and learn from 30+ year old women. I dated a 48 year old to learn how to date and relationships. I'm not telling you date someone that old, but just keep your options open for those in their 30s. Geez, I have an 18yr old relative who has the hots for a 30yr.

    You're doing better than me at that age! :) That first move is scary, without practice - so let someone else make the first move and go from there.
     
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