longterm relationship in danger?!

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Susie, Sep 17, 2013.

  1. Susie

    Susie Member

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    hi ladies,

    I got a problem with my coworker, she is married got 2 grown up kids and is always flirting with me. she's looking for body contact and eye contact. maybe i missread those signals but honestly I don't know how to act anymore.

    should I tell her to stop or tell her I want the same thing... both emberassing.
    the next thing is, I'm in a 5 year relationship and normaly I'm happy I think. But everytime I think about my coworker it feels like falling in love and don't know what she thinks about all that... she knows I'm gay and in a realationship.

    I know you all will tell me: hey shes straight, she's married, stop thinking bout her you got a girl! but thats not that easy.

    maybe you got an advice for me how to react.

    cheers
    susie
     
    #1
  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    Women can be so hard to say no to, isn't it? You do have all the power to stop what you are worried about though and there are strategies.

    1. Stop the guilt and know how normal and banal it is what you are feeling. Sometimes, the guilt and the forbidden make you want to go down that road more. If you fall for the temptation, it is just a mundane office fling that happens to a lot of people.

    2. She is using you for a high. She is not that long lost love you have been waiting for. If you do fall for it, she might do that worst of the worst straight girl speech, "there there, oh poor gay girl, I was just flirting, I didn't mean it. I complain about my husband and worship Lorena Bobbit but I do love him."

    3. Know that you are smarter than this and not let no. 2 happen to you. Don't use words to fend her off, just body language. I guard my personal space from such women and men, especially at work. I usually stand back with a smile, some people have noticed but no one have complained. If that doesn't work, I drop the smile and start cutting off personal chit chat.

    4. Look forward to going home to your woman most nights, if you don't, make sure you do something about it.

    Good luck to you. You bother to post it here because you are trying to be scrupulous and you love your partner, that is commendable.
     
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  3. Susie

    Susie Member

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    Thanks for your words!!!

    You opened my eyes again...
     
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  4. Falk08

    Falk08 Well-Known Member

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    Forget the possible straight part, remember the married part! Both of you are in very long term, serious relationships of course the idea of some hot, coworker is exciting! I say honestly, enjoy the flirting but take it for what it is...when it comes down to it neither of you probably want to leave your current relationships.
     
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