Literally... Does she like me?!

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by BahstidBeast, Dec 3, 2014.

  1. BahstidBeast

    BahstidBeast New Member

    Dec 3, 2014
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    Hi gals!!

    Old time lurker, not one to post much. However, I am
    In need of some advice and opinions on whether or not this is all in my head.

    Sooo... Back to basics. How I met her? I work at a company in which one can select a mentor. They are usually senior in one's area and they provide guidance/advice to the mentees. Turns out that my mentor and I hit it off pretty well, and she invited me to stay at her place for an on-site training (I live in another state) for a week. Well, turns out she has a daughter my age (let's call her K) and I hit it off pretty well. It was as if we had known each other for years. Seriously, our chemistry is just ridiculously intense.

    Anyway, that week nothing happened, other than K and me bonding and getting really close, and we have been texting a lot ever since.

    Well, last week, I stayed over at my mentor's one more time for a little bit over a week, and this time I got the.. Vibe (with her daughter I mean) that her feelings go a little bit deeper than what I had initially thought.

    So, here's a brief summary of how the week went by:

    First day we meet up. We hug and hang out for a bit. Small chit chat and playful banter. She invites me to have lunch with her dad and I have to decline because of a work meeting.

    Next day, we go to a football match and I get access to a suite within the stadium. I am there with customers and she texts me that she went to see the game as well. I manage to make a few calls and get her into the suite, but warn her to behave around my customers. She ends up getting drunk and doing all kinds of weird things.. She would hug me from behind and feel me up, and when called out on it, she would just whisper how I liked it anyway. Then she started saying thank you for letting her in, and she would kiss my face all over to try and leave kiss marks on my cheeks. When she saw that she wasn't leaving any marks behind, she went ahead and put on some lipstick and kissed me again. She called me love, beautiful, baby.. You name it. Anyway, as it turns out, the night ends and we part ways, but we meet up sometime later for dinner, and since my throat is starting to hurt, she takes care of me and makes me chicken soup. Yes, I am aware she was slightly drunk, so I didn't think much of anything that happened that day.

    Next day we have a bit of an argument, and she starts crying once she realises she has hurt me (not really worth it to mention what was it all about), but I was surprised she was so emotional about that...

    The rest of the week we keep hanging out and having fun, but she begins this poking/teasing game, which gradually begins to also involve some boob grabbing and ass smacking. All done in a playful way, but still... I always replied in kind, of course. At one point she even grabbed and twisted my nipples as soon as my mentor (her mom) turned her back on us, so I thought that was pretty daring.

    Anyway, at one point during our playful fights, she comments she loves getting a neck massage, and of course I keep this in mind.

    On Friday, when it got very intense (and when everything turns interesting) was when we had a small party at her mom's and we all got pretty tipsy. After everyone left, she figured she was going to sleep in my bed because she was too drunk to drive, and she lays on it, facing down. Anyway, I got in bed too, and we start talking about boys and past relationships and whatnot and she tells me of this guy she likes and blah blah and yeah i talk a little too. after a while she tells me she cannot sleep, and i remember what she had told me about her neck, and I start massaging it to get her to sleep. so after a while, i ask her if that is helping to get her to sleep, and she replies, "with those baby hands? I dont think so".

    So that flared me to start actually stroking her neck hard and deep and good. Like giving her a really deep deep massage without being gentle anymore. So she starts like breathing heavily, and starts letting out this small moans every now and then. like she was still facing down, her neck exposed to me, and she is like breathing hard, and letting out this soft "ohs" every now and then. And Im just silently going deep into her neck and she just pants, and Im just breathing next to her, silently.

    Eventually, she even asks me to go higher on her neck, so I just keep it up, and she keeps breathing out this soft moans and it was so sexy, but I wasnt saying anyhting. I just kept it going. Then after about like a good while, when my hand starts going numb, I ask her if she is now ready to go to sleep, and she says yes and thanks me. And she turns around and rests her back against me, and I curl up against her from the back, and wrap one arm around her. Like around her stomach, underneath her boob, cause Im spooning her from behind. And at this point, when I'm ready to sleep, she just says, "be appropriate".

    That comment totally throws me off, cause its not like Im grabbing her boob or feeling her up, and I go like, "what...?"

    And she says again, "just be appropriate..." and I just whisper, "I am..." but Im just confused at this point, so I withdraw my arm, and she starts kind of reaching back with her elbows for me to hug her again, so I do it without saying another word, and then we go to sleep.

    The next day we didn't even talk about it, and that was my last day, so we said our goodbyes, but it wasn't anything special.. Just a regular hug. She didn't even kiss my cheek this time.

    Idk girls.. At this point I'm just confused about the whole "being appropriate" comment, and her not reacting the next day. But maybe I'm just not ready her right, so I'd looove some extra input.

    So... Thoughts?

    Oh and thank you for reading all this. It turned out larger than expected...

    So does she like me? What's going on with her?
    Is there hope between us...?
  2. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

    Jul 4, 2013
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    Well, lets start at the begining.

    1) she's your mentor's daughter.
    2) I'm assuming she's about your age (upper 20s).
    3) she lives in a different State
    4) she seems to have a hard time showing affection directly and appropriately.

    First, I don't think it's a good idea to screw around with your mentor's daughter. You don't need your mentor pissed at you and maybe talking [email protected] about you.

    You've kinda let things go too far already, with all the grab assing and spooning and such.

    Second, she doesn't sound very mature. Getting drunk and groping you in a suite is not cool. I'm sure some tongues are wagging on that.

    Third. Duh, yes, she likes you. She also wants you to make the moves. But she wants to take said moves slow. And, apparently, hard.

    Personally, I'd stay away from her. Dating your mentor'simmature daughter who lives long distance doesn't seem worth it to me. Just because she likes you, doesn't mean you should go there - or that it will end well.

    I think you could find a closer, less complicated gf.
  3. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

    Jul 11, 2013
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    Well...I had to take a minute to absorb that!

    My first impression is that she appears a bit of a lunatic and probably is not entirely well. At the very least she is v impulsive and wears her emotions v close to the surface. What cultural background is she from? Cause that sorta drama behaviour is more normal in some cultures than others.

    Apart from whether she likes u, do u like her and if so, why? Did it not bother u the way she behaved at the work do, or were u so flattered by the attention that u overlooked it? No judgement in that question towards u...attractions can cause folks to overlook stuff.

    The fact that ur working with her mom and her mom is senior to u puts a little more on the line in terms of how u react to this.

    It's impossible for us to know if she likes u really as we have only ur description of events and u don't even know either. So best guess...she knows u r attracted to her and she is having fun with it. She enjoys teasing u and being outrageous and daring. A part if it could even b to annoy her mother. But I think it's just a game for her and if u made any kind of proper move, she would cut u dead and withdraw from u completely.

    Sorry, hope I'm wrong.
  4. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

    Jul 4, 2013
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    Agreed! When I was reading this half way through, I thought she liked you but wondered if she was one of those straight girls who bonds then teases and runs away. Then I read the "be appropriate" comment. I mean, once you hear that, I would have reacted like you have and shut the whole thing down. Even without all the cautions that Bluenote had mentioned (my head was screaming danger, danger Will Robinson the whole read before the comment), once you get that "be appropriate", it is a "no" to me. She doesn't know boundaries and I would not test hers.

    Edit: Just read Moses' post right after I posted. I totally agree with the "cut you dead" part.
  5. Just Me

    Just Me Well-Known Member

    Jul 4, 2013
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    Not much more to say accept to re-affirm what the others said:

    She loves the attention, likes to play a good game, and knows she can get away with that behavior with you. Because you've now allowed it. Don't ever let a chick make a fool of you at work, no matter what your job is; that grab you up and leave marks on your cheek, shit's not professional. That's childish attention seeking at it's finest. Even if it wasn't your mentors daughter (which his a HUGE mess to be getting into) ... Would you really want a girl that treats you like meat? She sounds like a pretty good hunter, and she'll eat you alive in this situation.
    Eloise, Moses, Spygirl and 2 others like this.
  6. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

    Jul 4, 2013
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    Oh Lord Almighty, JustMe, if there'd been a Hallelujah, Religion found moment in the interactions between LGBTQ women and relationship-challenged women who want attention, you have said it. You said it, sistah! Where do we get these women? At school, at work and they mess with us just to boot some miseries out of their lives.

    I could be wrong but I get the weird vibe (Joan Crawford a la Mildred Pierce) thing with her and her mom and I don't know if the whole stadium suite thing was because she was in a room with a lot of testosterone. Maybe the most she ever acted up was in front of others and for a reason? Her mom's back maybe turned but doesn't mean she is not doing things for the benefit of her witnessing it. Whatever is going on there, JustMe said it for us women and the dignity we deserve. Don't let people mess with you, you are smart and made for better things.
    Just Me, Bluenote and Nancy like this.
  7. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

    Jul 4, 2013
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    I had a 'well liked' post on the old AE, I'm gonna try to recreate it here.

    Just because a girl flirts with you, or wants to make out, or hook up with you - doesn't mean she respects you or cares about you as a person.

    Some girls just want sex, hook-ups, drama, a notch on the bedpost, whatever.

    Some girls tease and play games physically. But some do it emotionally. Just because a girl texts you 50 times a day, doesn't mean she respects you or cares about you. She might just get off on the attention.

    So it's up to you to stick up for yourself. If you just want hook ups, that is fine. But if you want more, you have to figure out a) does she like me and b) will she treat me well.

    I see red flags about the situation.

    I also see red flags about her behavior. She doesn't seem to respect you and that's a problem.
    Eloise, Just Me, Spygirl and 2 others like this.
  8. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

    Jul 2, 2013
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    I"ll be succinct and refrain from urging you not to date your mentor's daughter for career reasons:

    She's a tease. She wants you when SHE wants you, on her terms, under her control (and most usually when she's been drinking). That way she's safe and can write it off in her mind and rationalize the situation (i.e. I was only joking around) the way she sees fit. She can flirt, be the center of attention, whatever, but she's not interested in you for anything more than an ego stroke because the minute you initiate something, she tells you to "be appropriate." This is classic attention-seeking behavior. She knows you're interested, and she's using that against you.

    The one thing conspicuously missing from your post is any kind of statement about her actually saying anything of substance to you to indicate that she truly cares about your feelings or that she wants something from you other than your use as a plaything.

    Run from this one.
    Bluenote likes this.
  9. Eloise

    Eloise Well-Known Member

    Jul 26, 2013
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    I'm bothered by the fact that your mentor asked you to stay in her home while you were out of town on business. The company should be paying for you to stay in a hotel. Does your mentor know you're gay? If so, she could be trying to set you up with her daughter. My suggestion is that you need to drop your mentor. Find a different mentor or go without. Don't contact your mentor again. If she contacts you, let her know you appreciate everything she's done for her (list specifics), but you think you'd like to try other mentors so you can learn new things from others. Be professional, but don't tell her anything about her daughter being the reason.

    If your mentor pushes for an explanation, don't say anything about her daughter. If you so much as tell her that her daughter was inappropriate around your clients, she may turn it around and make it appear that you were the initiator. You really want to back away from this as quietly as possible.

    Don't answer any of the mentor's daughter's emails or texts. As far as a professional situation is concerned, this could turn into a mess for you. Back away and stay away.

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