I did it. After dinner while sharing a piece of chocolate cake between myself and my parents I began with... I have so much anxiety, I'm scared to tell you something... And it ended with yep you know how you just said you dream of me marrying a guy, having a bf etc... I can't I don't want a bf I want to have a girlfriend, I want to experience being in love with a woman not a man because I'm gay. I'm attracted to women. I have manageable general/social anxiety 2 so It took guts... I've known it myself for just about a year, it was a shock but then everything made sense. I knew I was different but I couldn't tell why. I have barely any experience, I've never been in love, I am a class A virgin but I know it. I want my first love to be with a woman, my first sexual encounter, everything. And in my head I feel pretty comfortable about it, My mom (has sever paranoia and anxiety issues) asked 10 k questions and I'm sure it will continue for a while. She said she always had a feeling. (I am a tomboy, so sadly they used to automatically associate that with not being an unnatural woman as they would call it) she said even my grandmother had told her when I was 6. She said in her religion I should do a sex change.... because i want to be a man... I remained calm... I answered all her questions.. I told them to educate themselves... Look online. They agreed. My father just 'got me'. After a few exchanges about my imbalance hormones... And my PCOS.. And my psych.. And maybe i can be cured., He said its just who you are or probably are. I am more concerned about your career and school than anything else. I'm sure he is processing that in his own way. Bottom line she didn't take it too well. She is soooo concerned about her Persian community, about what would people think, what would relatives think, and shook her head as to why all the fucked up things happen to her. She's a narcissist BUT she didn't disown me. She took it better than I imagined. I mean they almost lost me to suicide so I felt they were somewhat happy I felt happy and open, and well acting like I always do like nothing has changed. But I know I feel different. keeping this was becoming suffocating. I truly understand what people meant by saying they felt trapped, suffocated .. I felt that.. Every minutes.. I still do.. What's next? This is just the beginning, Is it weird to think of myself as brave? Courageous? What was I thinking.. I look so strong and assertive, I had to be for them. To show them I am normal, I am ok. Being gay is just another thing like my green eyes, except I feel alone.. I don't regret it but I am scared. I have a therapist which I'm thankful for but I don't know maybe I should have waited ... Gone to a lgbt meeting first.. I live with my mother. I am dependant on them financially at the moment. But I had to set myself free. It wasn't healthy. Right now I am feeling soooo overwhelmed, I haven't cried in a year and I just want to weep, I feel liberated, now I can tell my only friend, go to my first pride In a few weeks. Mixed emotions kinda thing. This is my 2nd post on AE before remodelling. Last time your words put a smile on my face. It helped! Many could relate to my feelings and struggles. Shout out to those who can remember, Ty and Ty for reading. Ps. I'm from Vancouver is there anyone here from bc?