Just gotta ask

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by drew52, Dec 5, 2015.

  1. drew52

    drew52 Member

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    Hey, so this girl shows up at my workplace once a week (shes scheduled with a client i work with) and invests a lot of time small talking with me. She asks me personal questions often, considering we're merely acquaintances. She remembers small things i say, example, the other day brought me my favorite flavored coffee spontaneously after i had casually mentioned it one day. She often brings up things i've said weeks ago. She asks me about what shes wearing a lot and often says things like "i look like a slob" when shes clearly put together. The other day she said something along the lines of "I date people for like 2 months then i'm like, bored", completely randomly. Just a lot of interesting contact and occurrences that im pretty sure are flirty but could also be friendly. Out of curiosity what do you guys think based off of the very little info i've provided....
     
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    Last edited: Dec 6, 2015
  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    Quoting you and remembering the flavor of your coffee is already love in a certain form. It is such lovely attention she is giving you. She is leading conversations hoping you would ask her to talk more. Get her to talk about herself. For instance, when she talked about dating people, you could have asked her for more anecdotes. If she says something about looking like a slob, compliment the best looking thing on her and ask her where she shops, maybe she'll take you.
     
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  3. PooleContract

    PooleContract Member

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    First you need to ask if she's exclusively into men, and if you can't ask her upfront, try to pull it out of her. And you need to know if she's bored with her job (hence her talking to you to pass time) because if she was so into you, she'd ask you to hang out outside of work. And also, you need to figure out if there is any financial incentive for her to build a relationship with you (commission or bonus structure as a result of securing a deal with you or your department). Once you rule that out, and once you rule she's gay, you have a formula for success. Otherwise, she's just a bored straight girl with nothing to lose but time at work.
     
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  4. dixson

    dixson Member

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    Good call. Although I'm pretty sure her chatting me up is unrelated to any career inhancing motives, based on our occupations. It could be boredom - usually if someone is being friendly i'm pretty good at recognizing it at such. However sometimes the things she says and does are kinda questionable.

    As for the "is she even gay". Again, questionable. I dont know her outside of our weekly banter. My gaydar would peg her Bi. But i havent devoted much effort to finding out either.
     
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  5. dixson

    dixson Member

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    I feel like her persistance in getting to know me, and obvious attention to detail (coffee delivery) are a for sure sign. And yah, fishing for compliments maybe too.

    I feel bad reading into it, if its honestly just how she is. Or you know, some people are naturally "flirty "
     
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  6. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    I wouldn't feel bad, especially if you are interested. Why not find out more by getting her to talk more about herself? If you are not interested then, it is good to have a nice person to talk to in breaking up the work day.
     
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  7. Eloise

    Eloise Well-Known Member

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    Are you kidding? How many people learn your favorite coffee drink and then bring it to you? None, that's how many. Except the girl that is in way into you. Ask her out for coffee now and see where it goes. Oh, and if you are noticeably gay, then she has already pegged you, so your gaydar doesn't need to ping off her.
     
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  8. dixson

    dixson Member

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    Hahah yah no one has ever surprised me with a coffee before.. Sucks for her, now i expect fresh brew every week.. Just kidding.

    She knows i'm gay. Im not exactly sneaky about it.
     
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  9. Gentry

    Gentry Active Member

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    This girl is obviously into you! She's actually very sweet. :) Do you even like her though?
     
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  10. dixson

    dixson Member

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    I'm intrigued by her - she is very sweet isnt she. I just got out of a long term relationship and still on the mend, but i don't see any harm in getting to know her a little bit better. I do enjoy the attention, all selfishness aside.

    Maybe i'll have coffee waiting for when she shows up next week. If its awkward I can always just say im returning the favour..
     
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  11. RLrose

    RLrose Member

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    Don't want to be negative here but are you sure she isn't doing it for work reasons? Does her company pay for coffee? Im a sales rep, so I am very friendly to the accounts I visit. And honestly, I tend to buy food or coffee for my accounts especially if I want one myself so I can get my work to pay for it instead. hah. So, I remember what people like so I can bring them one. BUT, if she only brought you one and not your coworkers and if she paid for it herself and not through her work then yeah I'm sure she is interested...
     
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  12. dixson

    dixson Member

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    Hey, a legit question. I'm an Occ therapist, she's a Physio who meets at the facility with a few clients once a week. We are both paid by the same employer - I wish we were compensated for our coffee consumption... Using the coffee as an example (seeing as it's the most predominant thing), this is the first time she's done that, and she didn't bring one for herself either.

    Usually when she comes in, first thing she does is come right to my desk and chitchat - She'll see a client or two, then come small talk some more, go back at it and then come sit with me and small talk before she leaves. When I say chitchat, I don't mean standing in a door way and talking about clients/work, I mean pulling up a chair and hanging out, joking around and starting off topic conversations (and off-hand comments like the ones i mentioned before)

    Last week, after the coffee delivery, she sits down at my desk and says "I'm just gonna take a minute here to write some stuff down, I have a short term memory" where I responded with "cant be that bad, you remember my drink order" and she goes "medium dark roast with milk.." and we left the convo at that.
     
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  13. dixson

    dixson Member

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    Btw.. I have two accounts here.. I forgot my pw and then remembered it again. Hence why OP is under a diff name.
     
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  14. Coffee Addict

    Coffee Addict Well-Known Member

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    From the little I can gather from your story, she is likes you. However, does it matter what is the nature of her interest? Whether as a friend or a romantic interest?

    I think you get along well and she seems an interesting person. Get to know her and let things evolve naturally, and elaborate on your interactions. You are in a better position than many OPs in these forums who don't even get acknowledged by the other person... I mean, you got coffee already!! To me that's a win-win, coffee and a friend (at the very least).

    Enjoy getting to know this person. :)

    Best of luck,
     
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  15. dixson

    dixson Member

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    Bring this post back to life, only because this past week was the most I've seen her since before Christmas since she went MIA after the coffee delivery.

    yesterday we took a chance to catch up with one another and we spent almost 2 hours in my office laughing and talking and joking around. She pulled a chair right next to mine behind my desk and sat there with me for almost an hour joking around, telling stories, we laughed and laughed. i'm convinced she's flirting with me, and I want to see her outside of work. However, I just found out that she recently got out of a long term relationship with a guy that she'd been with since highschool.. She's mid 20s now. So I'm second guessing my gut when I'm questioning friendly or flirting, or friendly flirting.
     
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  16. Gyldenragg

    Gyldenragg Well-Known Member

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    There's only one way to know for sure! Just ask her to hang out together outside of work. It doesn't have to be anything more than friends hanging out, but also has the potential for more if she really does like you that way. Regardless it's a good way for both of you to get to know each other better :) I'm sure by now you know certain things/places she likes or would like to try that you could suggest checking out together for example. If you don't try getting to know her better beyond your current level, it's impossible to know what might happen.
     
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  17. Coffee Addict

    Coffee Addict Well-Known Member

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    Patience my young padawan. Go out, hang out, get to know each other first. Then figure the reason for the flirting.
     
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