It is the little things...

Discussion in 'Advice on Meeting Women' started by Janodi22, Oct 10, 2015.

  1. Janodi22

    Janodi22 New Member

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    The little things as in being nervous around women.
    Not being able to talk to them.
    Essentially not being my usual self.

    I am in a dilemma. I live in a small town. There is only one lesbian that I know but is to remain friends because I do not see her in a romantic way.

    What to do what to do? Is it so bad I want a woman I can spoil? Not with materialistic junk but with love, attention and show her that she is the center of my world, give her flowers just because it is Wednesday.
     
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  2. laura7

    laura7 Member

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    Three things to get a woman into your bed: Money, patience and money again..
     
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  3. Mel123

    Mel123 Member

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    I totally can relate! I get so nervous around women it is not only uncomfortable for me but also for her. Also, it is not bad to want to spoil her. I too would do the same for my girlfriend and give her all the love and attention she desires. But I too have the same problem and it seams like all the women around me seam to be straight... All I can say is, just be patient and hopefully a woman for you will come along soon.
     
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  4. sundancer

    sundancer Well-Known Member

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    Ok so obviously this laura7 person is a troll considering her other responses.

    If you live in a small town and are doubtful that there's anyone who may be gay... is there a bigger town or city that you can visit more frequently to get your gay on? You could also use the internet to your advantage - e.g. online dating websites just to meet new friends which could translate into something more? Also there's a possibility that they could introduce you to more gay women and so on.
     
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  5. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    I noticed that about our friend Laura7 as well. She needs a life.
     
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  6. lorienczhiu

    lorienczhiu Well-Known Member

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    I would recommend online interaction, or attending some kind of meetup (through meetup.com or sponsored by some queer community website like Autostraddle) in a nearby city. The antidote to nervousness is practice, and removing the pressure; so, you're not trying to get a date at this meetup, or with every girl you message online, but just to chat and make friends. You will feel more comfortable if every conversation is not "oh no I'm ruining my chances with princess charming!!!!" but just another chance to get to know some cool folks. If something more comes up down the line, that's awesome... but if not, now you have these awesome queer friends, and that's awesome too.

    In terms of spoiling some anonymous potential girlfriend: yeah, it's fine to want to love on someone. I suggest you start now: love on your friends, be kind and considerate and a random gift-giver. You have all this caretaking you want to do, and it does NOT have to be reserved for a romantic partner. In fact, your life will probably seem a whole lot more satisfying if the way it is right now lets you have intimate, non-sexual relationships in your day-to-day.

    When you actually start dating, you are able to see the girl in front of you for all her wonderful, flawed, humanness, not just the imaginary girlfriend you have been wanting to spoil this whole time. Because actual humans have different needs, may want flowers on Monday instead, or may HATE cut flowers and love it when you microwave her socks to show her you care.
     
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