Is this girl I work with into me or one of those straight friendly types?

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by silliputty23, Jun 26, 2016.

  1. silliputty23

    silliputty23 Well-Known Member

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    -Sort of our first interaction: I offered some of my dessert to her. She eventually came over and ate with the fork I'd been using. As she ate, I jokingly announced I was going to hook everyone up, then straight out asked who she liked. She just sat looking back at me with a wide smile.

    -She walked up to me from the side and didn't stop walking into me so I wrapped my arm around her waist. She went on to flop her head onto my shoulder but I ended the hug and said "Girl, you're crazy". She also stood running her hand around my upper arm once but I ignored it (I was unhappy at the time). Both times the manager was right there...

    -She was explaining that she has a dress rehearsal for dance this weekend and added that I should come. Someone else started talking; this "invite" wasn't revisited. Not sure if it was a random comment or if it was going to be a legitimate invite.

    -When talking with coworkers in the back at the end of one shift, she walked over w/her stuff and squeezed past someone so she could stand right beside me. I asked if she was waiting for her ride. She said no, she had a car; she said she came over to see me. She said "I love --insert my name--"

    -A female customer walked in all dressed up. One employee was telling this customer she was gorgeous as I was approaching and the girl looked at me and said "You're gorgeous." It was all during the excitement around that customer so wasn't sure if I'd heard her correctly. I asked "who, me?" She didn't respond to the question. Still not sure if she was talking to me.

    -She had her family in to eat on her b-day night. Before noticing her, I saw her mother and her sister both looking at me with interest as I passed by (at different times). I had thought these were random customers studying me. I never stopped by her table; I only said "hi" and "happy birthday" as they got up to leave.

    She just graduated from HS. It looks like her prom dates the last two years were two different guys. She goes along when talking about guys, admitting that some are cute and joking about wanting a date. I had proposed one guy at work to her(I suppose to dig around her orientation), she admitted he was cute, and sometime later was trying to draw something on his hand while I was there...he pretty much ignored her. As I was heading out for the night once, I asked why he wasn't working (because I like talking to him). She said "Maybe you should just date him" as I reached for the door. I made a face and said "Why??" before walking out. She sometimes acts uninterested in me. A few times, she failed to respond when I said "Hey!" in passing and once gave a bitter/rude sounding "hey". She doesn't sit and stare from afar like others who've seemed to be into me would do. She doesn't seem to be close to anyone at work. Though, I admit that because I think she's somewhat cute, I've made more of an effort to talk to her than my coworkers. Maybe she would act the same way towards others if they made the effort with her...

    Also, side question: She's 18. I'll be 25 in less than two weeks....is this inappropriate on my part? I've actually never been into someone younger than me before and I do at times feel weird about it. I'm bi and don't talk about it at work. Thanks.
     
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  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    Hi there, I don't think she means any of those actions to be anything beyond entertainment while at work. While there is nothing wrong with the age difference, I think in this case, you and this lady are in different places in life. If you guys ever hook up, you will always be wondering what her mood du jour is.

    I think you are probably a very nice and kind person. And she has found a safe place around you to play. She knows you are not the type to hurt her or exploit her or make her feel stupid for playing. But she is probably at the stage where she is everywhere and nowhere a mile a minute.

    Also, what I don't hear from your list is how you see her. Other than that she is "somewhat cute". It is a big, "I would not bother" to me.
     
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    Last edited: Jun 28, 2016
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  3. silliputty23

    silliputty23 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for answering!

    Well I don't see a future with her...

    I think she's cute, I like flirting and like the touches. I'd definitely consider spending time with her outside of work. I'm not smitten. I haven't had any conversation of substance with her.

    When you mention "play" and "entertainment", are you envisioning a young *straight* girl just flirting without intention?
     
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  4. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    By "play" and "entertainment" I meant someone who is bored at work and just passing time without intention. You know I am just guessing at all that but I hope you understand it is coming from experience. I can show you scars but my partner would kill me. :D Just because you are a safe place for her, it doesn't mean she is a safe place for you. If you flirt, feel tall about it, like you are not really into it or she might turn on you and make hay about it to others and start a gossipy work clique on it. She might use you to get attention of someone else she really wants. So please be careful and play it cool.

    @mysterious girl Thank you very much, you are very kind!
     
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  5. silliputty23

    silliputty23 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks much! I'll be a little more guarded.
     
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  6. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    She knows she has your attention, even in a non-serious looking for a relationship kind of way -- and she's thriving on it. It's a game...I don't see any real interest on her part other than intrigue and getting off on your reaction to her....

    Be guarded and very hard to get.
     
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  7. rainydaze

    rainydaze Well-Known Member

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    On your side question: she is 18, so there is nothing illegal or completely icky about the 7 year age gap. However, when I was 25, I couldn't imagine having any interest in a brand new high school graduate...Those years of very early adulthood and up to mid twenties are full of incredible growth and change. So, I wouldn't be too surprised if you actually have very little in common due to the big gap in life experience at her age.
    Also, I agree with the others that there doesn't sound like any actual sincere interest on her part. Some times people flirt if they know or suspect you are gay/bi...not because there is genuine interest but because there is a bit of a thrill in it....in a sort of "harmless" way. It is annoying and insulting, but straight girls tend to do that quite often.
    I would steer clear and not invest much time or energy in it based on what you described. You don't need a mess a work!
    Find someone cute to hang out with outside of your work environment, who is some where closer to your own age. You will have something to look forward to after work and you will quickly forget about this girl.
    Of course, all of this is just my opinion, you aren't obligated to give it any weight. Good luck, and check back in!
     
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  8. Eloise

    Eloise Well-Known Member

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    This is a tricky one. Is she flirting with you? Yep. But, does she want anything to come of it? Probably not. Don't let the fact that she went to school dances with a boy fool you. Most lesbians and bisexual girls do go to highschool dances with boys. My highschool boyfriend was gay. I knew it even if he wasn't out. He was my boyfriend because I knew he was safe. He was never going to get all pushy and expect anything from me I didn't want to give a guy. So, she might be a lesbian or bisexual who's still trying to figure things out.

    Should you date someone so young? Probably not. There's a lot of maturing she needs to do before she matches your 25 years. Even though you're young, you've lived a lot more in the past 7 years than she has. I think she's experimenting with flirting with another girl, but she backs off because she's scared. She should do whatever she's gonna do with someone her own age. The first time is never serious, it's just a way to have your first time. So, unless you just want to be her first then ignored, you probably shouldn't press on with her.
     
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  9. ChychD

    ChychD Member

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    Dude! She loves the attention from you....just a teenager trying to get a reaction from you. Be guarded men!! Happened to me....so I'm very careful. However you could turn the situation around.....have some fun OUTSIDE work letting her know you ONLY find her cute and you KNOW the attention game! Goodluck dude!
     
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