Is there something wrong with me?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Kyuarizumu, Oct 15, 2019.

  1. Kyuarizumu

    Kyuarizumu New Member

    Oct 14, 2016
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    My girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year. I'm her first girlfriend, shes never had an interest in girls before and I just happen to be the lucky one. However, she has a long sexual history of guys which isn't a problem but its needed to be said she was very sexually active in previous relationships. Now, she doesnt have time for me? Like to have sex. If we do the focus is solely on me and I dont like that. It's starting to make me feel like she doesnt really like me and she just doesnt realize it yet or something. It's been four months since we've done anything. Shes always tired always has a headache and I feel like a jerk about being upset about something so trivial but then I remember at one time with guys she literally had a friends with benefits. I'm just worried maybe I'm not attractive enough or she just isn't into me anymore... I feel like well shit.
  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

    Jul 4, 2013
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    Oh man, I am sorry to hear that. There is nothing wrong with you but there is something wrong with your relationship. The important thing is that you can talk about it without faults, assumptions and blames. It must be difficult to open on a topic like that but you can tell her that you want a better relationship and perhaps you can trying really talking before you have to get to the point of getting help from a counselor.

    It could be that you are just not compatible. Like it works as a new relationship but she cannot sustain a sex life beyond that. I would not make too many assumptions based on her sexual past to mean anything about her or you. Gay women have histories with men for different reasons and those histories can be different with their new sense of self after finding out their true sexuality. Focus on your needs now and don’t compare. It is ok to want to be fulfilled.
  3. Writer23

    Writer23 Well-Known Member

    Jul 14, 2018
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    OK, so here’s the thing. This is where we as women shine over men. So many men, not all, are obsessed with sex and all things that do with sex; however, as women, we are said to be more emotional, understanding, caring and supportive to the needs and emotions of women because …we are WOMEN. Talk to her about what you feel and give her time. Never make it about sex.

    It has been a year and the glitz and glamour and of the newness of your relationships is wearing off. I could be very wrong, but it sounds like you are competing with her past relationships with men and what she had with them. Again, I could be wrong, but you more than likely tell her these things. You will destroy what you have with her if you continue this fixation. Keep in mind that she chose you and is very much with you, not those men. Dwell in that. Again, tell her how you feel and give her time. Be supportive and loving and let her know that you are there for her and your relationship with her. If she loves you, she will meet you there and initiate intimacy. If she does not love you, let her go her way. No matter what you will be OK.
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2019

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