Is she trying to hint something?

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by miss flower, Oct 4, 2014.

  1. miss flower

    miss flower Member

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    Sorry this is gonna be long. Thank you in advance for your advice!

    I met this woman, B in our organization’s one-week seminar back in August. First I didn’t even notice her, but after 4 days had passed she and her cute smile became the only reason that made the seminar more interesting.

    During the seminar, I got some chances to talk to her. I sat next to her during lunch breaks and listened to her talking with other people. I’m not a talkative person, so sitting there listening to her was good enough for me. She is super friendly and good with people. B is in her thirties, but she doesn’t look her age. She has long hair and nice smile with the dimple on her right cheek. She is a smart and independent person. I learned that she had lived and studied in another country for almost 10 years before moving back home.

    After that seminar, my life became normal again. Days after days, I go to work and go back home without seeing her even though we work in the same organization. One morning in mid August I accidentally met her and we had a small talk before we left to continue our work. She looked so nice and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. I found myself screaming her name inside my head. I want to see her every morning!

    I later learned that we both have to walk pass that place we met for the first time every Monday and Thursday, so I tried to walk slowly and pretended to appreciate my surroundings just to kill the time. My plan works perfectly and got us seeing each other more often. She once said “I meet you so often”. Of course, it was my intention to make it happen. Days and weeks went by and we became acquaintances. In September I decided that I really need to know this woman more, so one day I bought her a sandwich after knowing that she is too busy to have breakfast. She accepted it with the brightest smile and thanked me for that. We meet at our ‘meeting place’ twice a week and we got to know each other more.


    Everybody’s working schedules will be changed after this semester ends and that means I might not see her again for the rest of the year. I tried to think of the plan to get her contact info without appearing to be a stalker, but I couldn’t come up with anything nice. Then one morning, while I was walking into one of our organization’s cafeterias, I saw here sitting there looking at her phone. I walked toward her and sat next to her without her knowing and said hello can I sit with you? She smiled at me and said yes. We ended up having breakfast together. We talked about things we like to do after work. We discovered that we both like running, so I suggested we go jogging together and I finally got her phone number for that. She loves running so much that she even brought her running shorts to show me while we were eating. That evening after work we went for a run. The rain didn’t stop her from her daily exercise. After that I bought her a refreshment drink and we sat there talking for an hour. I couldn’t even look straight at her. She was too adorable. I really enjoyed my time with her. She is smart, funny, and unique. That evening she drove me home and left.

    Next day, she invited me to try Yoga with her and texted me the time and the meeting place and I agreed to go with her. Last Thursday we had the yoga session together and it was pretty fun. I like seeing her determined face when she tried the new poses. There was a time when we bent over and our eyes met. We exchange the smile and she whispered her complaints to me and we both laughed. After that we went to have dinner and we had fun eating and joking around. I really like her.

    What got me so confused is that sometimes, she texts me out of the blue, but sometimes she just acts like I never exist. We texted a lot during last week and it feels like we’ve known each other for a long time. I feel comfortable with her. I told her I needed to go get a document from the other organization, but I couldn’t drive there because that place requires a pass. She suddenly offered to drive me there because she has a pass. I agreed and offered her a lunch together. We texted a lot and the relationship topic finally came up. I felt a bit uneasy because I have no idea what was on her mind, so I kinda laughed it off but she insisted to ‘interrogate’ me during our lunch date the next day.

    Yesterday, we had lunch at a very nice place near our work and I could tell that she enjoyed it so much. After lunch, I reminded her that she said she would ‘interrogate’ me about my past relationship. She looked down and said ‘never mind, I don’t wanna know that anymore’. After lunch we went to an art gallery nearby and she brought the topic up again asking about my past relationship. She asked me ‘ a guy or a girl?’. I was caught off guard, so I had to lie that it was a guy. I didn’t know how would she react it she knew it was a girl. When she heard it, she suddenly looked down and asked some other questions. I didn’t get her reaction at all. Why did she have to avoid eye contact after she knew I dated a guy.

    During our way back to work, she started talking about her past relationship and asked me questions like ‘ do you still contact your ex?, do you still have the feelings for him?, why did you break up?’ She told me that she had only dated one guy who was her friends for ten years and broke up while she studied in another country. After that, she never dates anyone. We went back to work at our own departments.

    2 hours later, I was working in my office and then she texted me my photo on the staff board and started teasing me by texting a song lyrics which basically said ‘ You have that bright smile and a kind heart. I can look at you for forever without feeling bored’ I texted her back the song lyrics to help her complete the song. She jokingly said that the song was not for me. It was for the lady whose photo was next to mine. I said ok, I will tell that lady then and she laughed. She asked where I was and invited me to bring my work to her office and ‘we can work alone together’. I said I had to talk to A, the person in her department, so I might wanna go to her department anyways. After I got my stuffs done, I walked to her department and saw her talking with a guy friend who was looking for an athlete to compete in our organization’s annual sport event. She saw me and started teasing me again by telling the guy that I was the best runner in my department, so I had to compete in running. She was so cute when she tried to convince the guy about my running. I excused myself and walked to A’s office and A wasn’t there. I was going to go back, but she came up to me and kinda dragged me into her office.

    We were there, just the two of us, in her office. We talked and she played some jazz music after hearing that I was exhausted from grading the papers. She listened to me rambling about work and was very nice to me. We sat there and talked for an hour. There was a moment when she randomly compliments my eyelashes. That was so random of hers. She told me she had been to a male stripper club once and saw too many of ‘that thing’ until she no longer finds it enticing. Was she hinting something there? She asked me which part of a man can turn me on. I said I like the arms and the hands. When she heard it, she suddenly looked at her hands and said she never finds any part of men attractive. Was that weird? Did I overanalyze things? While we were talking and she was typing something on her computer, I got a phone call and had to jot something down. She handed me a pen and helped me hold my notebook. Our hands touched and it was the best feeling ever! Her hand was so soft. Why did she have to go out of her way and help me? Was she just trying to be nice and helpful?


    Before I left from work yesterday, I posted a love note written in English (our native language is not English) on the driver’s window of her little car telling her to bring the shorts so we can go jogging together. 2 hours later, she posted a photo of it on her facebook page with the caption ‘feeling so good…like I was courted by a foreigner’ I was very surprised to see that.

    Those are things that make me think she might not be that straight. One time I asked her to join the ballroom dance lessons and she said she doesn’t like touching guys. I asked her why but she just told me she doesn’t feel like it. She also mentioned that she might not get married or have kids. Does this woman like me or was she just being nice and friendly? I am so confused now.

    Thank you for reading this long post. I truly appreciate it.
     
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  2. GreenFinger

    GreenFinger Member

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    first. she was open enough to ask you if you dated a guy or a girl. you should have answered honestly. that it was a girl. you would have a clearer window to moving forward. I'd bring it up and be honest if i were you.she's obviously throwing hints for you to be honest with her
     
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  3. miss flower

    miss flower Member

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    Thank you. You're right. I should have been honest to her. I was afraid that she might freak out. I don't know her view on this yet. :?
     
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  4. grainne81

    grainne81 Member

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    Hi Miss Flower, do you think you could still bring it up? I imagine that she will be under the impression that you are only into guys from the responses you mentioned on your post. Her response on Facebook to your note intrigues me!
     
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  5. sundancer

    sundancer Well-Known Member

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    Yep just go tell her since she asked. Just say you apologise for not saying anything sooner but you really like her as a friend and you weren't sure how she was going to react. I'm sure it will be ok - everyone here is going for you! :D
     
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  6. miss flower

    miss flower Member

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    Thank you you all for your comments! :D So, we had lunch a few days ago and it went well. She is straight and actually told me about her crush. I know him. The guy is older than her and she said she likes him so much that she actually googled him up. OK I get it. I know she will never like women, but her action today is quite confusing.

    She said she wanted to meet me after lunch, but I wasn't available then. Why did she have to 'want to meet me' so often? We meet like everyday now either by her plan or mine. This gives me the weird feeling that she might just enjoy the attention I give her.

    She often texted me telling me where she was, what she did, and etc. What is she trying to do?
     
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  7. Cricket

    Cricket Well-Known Member

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    What she is trying to do: Be friends?
     
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  8. Canuck8881

    Canuck8881 Well-Known Member

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    Tell her you are gay. Whether she wants to be just friends or more, she should know. How will your friendship ever be real if you are not honest with her.
     
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  9. miss flower

    miss flower Member

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    Last week I was super busy with work, but I still got to see her almost everyday. One day while we were talking in her office I found a book about sexuality and gender (she said it was for her research). We talked about the book for a few minutes and I said I wouldn't mind being with a woman for the rest of my life. She went silent for a few seconds and continued talking like nothing happened.

    Everything between us was normal. We met, had lunch, visit each other's office, etc. She was kind and nice as always. She played music every time I went to her office. Nothing bad happened and we're still friends. She asked me to go shopping with her, but I didn't go because I need some alone time just to clear my mind. It rained this morning and we were texting each other just like any other day. Normally she has to work on Sunday morning, but this morning she didn't have to. I said it was a good opportunity to just to be under her warm blanket and relax. She then replied "Being wrapped in a warm hug is way better"
    She also invited me to her house to try out her new stove and she also said that I could come and cook for her and me.

    I'm not gonna analyze anything anymore.I guess that's it. If she wants to be friends, I'm totally fine with it.

    Thank you for all your comments and suggestions. I really appreciate it.
     
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  10. grainne81

    grainne81 Member

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    I think you are right, just go with it, what will be and all that. Keep us updated on how things are going and best of luck.
     
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  11. miss flower

    miss flower Member

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    Update:
    So, last week I tried to keep the distance and tried to be her good friend. We hung out less often and that was actually good for me. :) Then a couple days ago she invited me visit her place (she already invited me twice this month)for a sleepover and try her cooking. I didn't know what to respond, so I said I may go to her place next weekend. Then she also brought up a camping plan and asked me to join her. From what she said, it will be just the two of us in a tent in the middle of nowhere. What should I do now?
     
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  12. grainne81

    grainne81 Member

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    Oh you should totally go! Are you a little nervous about spending time alone with her? From what you said, you both seem to get along well and really what do you have to loose? You may develop a real quality friendship or who knows, it may lead to more, but either way if this lady is someone you would like in your life in any capacity you need to spend time with her that's not work related. I get that a camping trip could be daunting, so to begin join her for dinner, don't stay over if you are not comfortable with that. Get to know her better, let her get to know you (the real you) and then you will be able to make a comfortable choice about spending time with her on a trip.
     
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  13. miss flower

    miss flower Member

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    Grainne81, you're right! She is someone I want in my life :) We got along well because we both share some common interests and we meet, talk, and text everyday. I guess I'll accept the dinner invitation and try to see how things go. Thank you for your comment! Have a great day!
     
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  14. carolinedee

    carolinedee New Member

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    Are you developing a crush on her that seems like it's leading to romantic feelings? If not and you just enjoy being around her, they go with the flow. My take on the situation is that she views you as a friend and you guys hit it off so she wants to hang out often. It was a mistake telling her your ex was a guy, because in her eyes you're *mostly straight and when working under that assumption a person isn't really aware if they're being flirty because you don't flirt with someone you're not interested in and vice versa. Telling her you could spend your future with a woman was a good idea, but if you do spend the night and go on the camping trip you should really just tell her you're gay, if for no other reason than to maintain honesty in the friendship.
     
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  15. Coffee Addict

    Coffee Addict Well-Known Member

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    Miss Flower, I hope this message finds you well. I think I might a little late for this post but I wanted to share some thoughts with you.

    I understand why you are confused about her, specially because of things she says. I relate to some of those things, like not finding male bodies very attractive. I find female bodies aesthetically more pleasing. Many of her comments can be interpreted any way, in your favor or against, so I wouldn't spend too much time overanalyzing. However, it doesn't seem like she would freak out if you are into girls. So I wouldn't worry too much.

    I think both of you are trying to find out more about each other hence the personal questions. Above all, you have a great chance here to have a great friendship, independently of developing a romantic relationship or not. Go out with her, go camping, go running, go for coffee, go... just go, don't push her away. Enjoy her and the things you two share.

    Good luck,

    --CA
     
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  16. miss flower

    miss flower Member

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    Thank you Coffee Addict for your comment :) I know there's a chance that the girl and I can build great friendship after all.

    Here are some updates:


    Last month we spent more time together both at work and outside work. One rainy night after dinner when we were walking back to our cars, she asked to grab my hand since the sidewalk is very slippery. I didn't want it to be awkward, so I gently grab her elbow and started to lead her. She then complained "This is not the right way. You made it look like you're leading a blind person" The I asked her what the right way was. She said "Like this" and held my hand and interlocked our fingers. I had to admit that I could feel my heart skipped a beat. Then she laughed and jokingly said it gave her goosebumps. Then I let go because I didn't want to make it more awkward.

    There was a time when we went book shopping and she was standing beside me (There were only the two of us there), looking at the books on the shelves. She went closer and leaned her head on my shoulder and said that it would be nice to date someone this tall. Again, this got my heart raced like crazy. I didn't know how to respond to that, so I just laughed it off. She also said she was jealous when I told her about the other person I really at work. But I didn't take it seriously. I knew she was just joking. I don't know. Are these common things that straight women do to their friends?

    AND
    I finally decided to visit her place and everything went fine. She was a great host. We had dinner, watched TV shows, cooked, and I helped her with gardening. Nothing romantic happened between us.

    However, the way she acts today makes me a little worried. Normally when we meet in the morning, she would give me the biggest, brightest smile. But today is different. There was no smiles. We had breakfast together like we usually do and she didn't talk much. She seemed tired and bored (though she said she wasn't) I had no idea what happened. She didn't text me in the afternoon like she usually did and when I texted her, she just texted back with short replies. As a friend, I am worried about her, but I don't want to ask her because she said she was OK. She is the type of person who never reveals her problems to anyone. All I know is that there must be something going on that is bothering her.

    I'll just wait and see how things go tomorrow.
     
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  17. Coffee Addict

    Coffee Addict Well-Known Member

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    I am glad you got to spend some time with her, it seems you guys have a lot of fun together.

    I wouldn't worry about her being a little quiet sometimes. When I am worried about something I don't like talking, I like doing that on my own time. We all have our good days and bad days. The good thing is that you can be there for her either way.

    Good Luck! :)
     
    #17

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