Is my best friend into me?

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by Juli, Oct 21, 2013.

  1. Juli

    Juli Member

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    Hey,
    So I have this friend, we've been close for about 3 years now. I was gone for 10 months doing an exchange year in a foreign country. And now that I'm back I'm suddenly starting to have feelings for her. She doesn't know that I like girls. She grew up in this small town in a perfect family. She was never really confronted with gays or lesbians. When one of our friends brought up the topic she said she thinks it's disgusting. She is naturally a touchy person. She would always hold hands with everyone and stuff. Shortly before I went on that exchange, we were closer than ever and she would always start flirting with me. That was so unlike her! But I flirted back even though at that time she was just a friend to me. So we would flirt back and forth and there always came a point where I couldn't keep it together anymore and I started laughing but she remained completely serious and pulled me towards her for a looong hug. This happened a couple times and she always started it! One day I told her I read somewhere that many girls make out with their bestfriend, and then she asked if I was implying something. I was shocked because this really hadn't been my intention, so I said no. Then she said that we could make out if I wanted to. But I said no, at that time I really just wanted her as a friend. She always got crazy jealous when guys talked to me. I figured she may be jealous cuz the guys didn't talk to her instead. But she also gets pissed when I talk about guys I like (I'm bisexual). While I was gone on the exchange she told me over skype that she made out with a couple of girls at a party, just as friends of course, but she sounded so excited talking about this, it made me wonder. only a couple weeks before she told me she thinks kissing friends is weird. Also while I was gone, she got together with a guy. When I came back we went to a club together with a couple of friends. Her boyfriend was there too. He always tried to dance with her, but she didn't want to. Then when I started grinding up on her she was all into it. I can tell she doesn't love her boyfriend. But does that mean she loves me? We hardly see each other anymore. I had already lost hope that she likes me but then, last week I told her a guy is coming over to my place and she got so sad and upset. Now I wanna tell her that I like her! But I don't know how, I don't want to lose her as a friend. Also I have no idea if she likes me now or has ever liked me. I'm so confused.
    What do you guys think? Please I need advice!!
     
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  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    I want to make sure one thing before we go anywhere else. You said something about her being from a "perfect" family and she was never really "confronted" with gays and lesbians. I could be over reading this, but those words sound like there is something quite obtuse about being gay. Again, I could be all wrong about you, but I just want to make sure that you are comfortable with being bisexual yourself before you go anywhere near the topic with this girl. Because she is not comfortable with it at all but she is damn curious about it. If you are not comfortable in your own skin, and she rejects you, she can plug your heart out and hand it back to ya.

    A straight girl best friend can feel threatened by anyone who can replace her even if she is not into you "that" way. So that is not a good enough indicator. She likes dancing with you better than her guy, that shows a bit of promise but it could be that she has not found the right guy and he was just a convenient guy to have just so she has a guy. And dancing with a girl made her feel sexy and fun.

    Anyway, my point is, her views and feelings about her sexuality is still emerging. You would have to be a really strong person and determined in your own okness to do any type of opening up to her about it. If you come out to her, make sure she doesn't have the means to cut you socially. If you tell her you like her, again make sure she can't destroy you. Unfortunately, she doesn't sound like the best friend who you know for sure will be supportive. I don't know if where you live it is even safe to come out. So I am quite cautious about this one.
     
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  3. rabbitheart

    rabbitheart Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like both of you are interested/confused. May wanna dance around the subject with her before making a move. It could be way out of the blue for her. If she is really is your best friend, however, y'all should be able to work through it -- it'll be awkward for a while, though.
     
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  4. sofakingsweet

    sofakingsweet Well-Known Member

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    Bring up the making out thing again. If she's up for it great, there maybe something there in the kiss you know. But be very careful she might just be in it for the fun and not for anything deeper. I made out with my best friend and it turned out she had feelings for me while she was with her boyfriend. If a girl is down to make out with you, sometimes the curiosity is all it takes for her to realize she likes you, keyword here is sometimes. I would say, take the risk and tell her how you feel. If she doesn't like you and doesn't want to be your friend than she's not a real friend.
     
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