Into me or just friendly?

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by Centurion, Mar 18, 2014.

  1. Centurion

    Centurion Active Member

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    A few weeks ago I decided to take my chances with okcupid, having never tried these kinds of sites before. Not long after being on there, I started chatting with a girl who seems really great! She's beautiful, interesting to talk to, and we share music tastes (which is rare for me). However, she lives in another country. This is no problem, but her profile says she's looking for people near her. Anyway, after messaging on that site for a couple weeks, we decided to move to Facebook because it was easier and felt more personal. Despite differences in time zones, we manage to chat as much as possible every day, and it's wonderful! Lately I noticed something: ever since she and I started using Facebook to talk, she has not logged into her okcupid account. What could this mean? Could she actually be into me, because I have no idea how to tell.
    I'm going into the Army in just a few days, we will be out of communication for two and a half months. She knows this. I really like her.. in fact, I unexpectedly fell head over heels, and now with my time running out, I don't know if I should tell her, or if she already figured it out. I wish I could know how she feels before shipping out.
     
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  2. loveforallmyhomies

    loveforallmyhomies Active Member

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    Just tell her how you feel.
     
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  3. Centurion

    Centurion Active Member

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    Well, I finally confessed my feelings to this lovely woman, and... it didn't exactly go the way I would have liked. She's not considering anything other than friendship and we're too far away for anything more (in her opinion). Ah well, can't have everything. If nothing else, at least I have a nice new friend!
     
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  4. anytime

    anytime Member

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    Glad to see you took the "rejection" so well. Why meet someone online anyway? I know it seems easy but I find it harder. For one, you can't really gage where the other person is. Sometimes they're trolls, sometimes they're egomaniacs. It's so much easier in person to get a real feel.
     
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  5. Justposting

    Justposting Well-Known Member

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    I just have to say congrats on telling her how you feel even if you didn't get you hoped outcome. I read story after story about crushes and everyone posts the same advice "tell her how you feel" but the poster never does, just leaving long tortured ramblings about how the girl looked at her and then they got drunk. It is a breath of fresh air to see someone willing to just jump in and take the advice.
     
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  6. Centurion

    Centurion Active Member

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    It's just one of those things that had to be done. I'm leaving for the Army in the morning, and if I didn't say something to her now, I'd just be torturing myself over it for months. It really is a breath of fresh air.. The prospect of rejection can be a scary thing, but it's even worse to sit around, biting your nails and wondering how the other person feels, but not making a move. Honestly, the best advice I could have hoped for was that short, sweet, "tell her how you feel." Best damn advice in the world. We're only here on this earth for a short time, there's no room for hesitating and missed opportunities. We never know what the next day holds. In my next, the next day is the beginning of a long period of silence and separation from the outside world. So, before I sign off for a good couple of months or so, I'd like to say thank you.
     
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  7. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    I was following this the last few days and was happy to see that you did what was best. Sorry was unable to post then. Best of wishes to you.
     
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  8. Centurion

    Centurion Active Member

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    I'm officially re-opening this inquisition because, let's face it, this stuff never ends. While I was away for all those months, she actually sent me a couple letters (!!) which was a wonderful surprise. Now that I'm back in the civilian world, I have had a lot more time on my hands to talk to this girl, and so we've moved into skyping each other. We've been getting along really well, she says she feels comfortable talking to me via Skype, which surprised her a bit since she apparently is a generally shy person. So, she's going to be coming to my country for a few days as a vacation, and since it's not too far, we're planning on meeting up and doing this trip together. But here's where things get a bit tricky.. I can't really tell when a girl is flirting or not, and I'm typically very flirty in general (especially when trying to attract a girl haha), so perhaps in many places in our conversation some things have been said that were misunderstood, or taken in ways they weren't really meant. It could be that I misinterpret her expressions. But now that the planning phase has gotten more serious, she faces me with a concern she has: We're going on this trip as friends, right? .....oh boy.. She says she doesn't want me to expect anything more than that at the moment. And she's afraid of it being awkward, especially because we would be sharing a room with one bed.

    I'm not really sure how to proceed here... or how to interpret certain aspects of this. For example, the "at the moment" part leads me to believe it's not to ally out of the question. Could it be that she may be interested in me, but has to see if we are compatible face-to-face? Or am I just holding on to waaaay too much hope here?
     
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  9. orangeandie920

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    I think what you could do is not to expect anything. Just enjoy every minute you spend time with her. The fact that she has decided to visit you in your country and go on a vacation together means that she's open to whatever might eventually happen. She would not exert that much of an effort and would not waste her time if she is not interested in you. But still, don't expect anything so that you will not get hurt or be disappointed in the end. Just take it as an opportunity for you both to know each other more and get closer.
     
    #9

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