In love w/ my bestie but I can't make it work!

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Wildstrwberry101, Jun 11, 2015.

  1. Wildstrwberry101

    Wildstrwberry101 New Member

    Jun 11, 2015
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    Hey, so I just really need some insight as to what's going on in my head because I can't figure it out. I'm in love with my best friend. We dated for two years and we broke up because I was new to this whole being bi thing and I didn't know if I could do it. Anyway, we've been playing this hot and cold romance thing for the past year and it's all my fault. I love her and I can see myself being with her down the line and it's all that I want BUT every time I get that and she is ready to join me in this I just start emotionally and physically distancing myself. I think I'm out of chances with her and now she isn't even sure if I we can be best friends which is heart wrenching. I know I've hurt her a lot and I can't do that to her anymore but what is my problem?!
  2. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

    Jul 4, 2013
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    I have no idea what your issue is.

    It could be struggling with coming out. It could be fear of commitment. It could be you aren't ready to have an exclusive relationship.

    If you can't commit to someone, you can't commit. You aren't doing them or yourself a favor by trying to force yourself into something that you aren't 100% ready for.

    I think that you are learning that lesson the hard way, unfortunately.

    You can ask yourself some questions- what would you think when you were unsure? That you were too young to settle down? That maybe you hadn't met the right guy? This can focus your source of conflict.

    Second, why would you persue her again after your doubts? Sexually attraction? Feeling like you 'should' or 'would' make a good couple? Fear of loosing her?

    You may have been persuing her out of fear. That is not a good place to be in a relationship.

    I don't mean to come down too hard on you. You June need to take a big step back and examine- what brought you to this place? What are you afraid of? What do you feel pressured into?

    It doesn't sound like you are at all ready for a relationship with your bestie. And if you have hurt her badly enough, a friendship may be difficult as well. That sucks and I am really sorry.

    But if you don't want to repeat this with another girl, stop and figure out what went wrong here.
    Wildstrwberry101, Spygirl and greylin like this.

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