In An Interesting Situation...

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by ElphabaThropp, Apr 1, 2016.

  1. ElphabaThropp

    ElphabaThropp New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2016
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    About a week ago, I finally came out to my best friend as lesbian.
    My mother raised me in a religion that I love, but does not permit homosexuality. In order to kind of figure out my feelings, I checked out a book from the public library and hid it in my purse (where my mother has never looked before.) Yesterday evening, I was just sitting down to eat and watch Friends, while she was ransacking the house looking for something. And she just happened to open my purse...
    She pulled out the book and stared at it, reading the cover, then held it up and asked me what it was. I swallowed hard and just said 'crap'.
    She looked at me for a second and sighed, sitting down. "You don't like guys do you?"
    We had about an hour long conversation, where I explained my feelings. Because of our religious convictions, she just wanted to make sure that I don't act on these feelings. And although she was really nice about all of this... She refused to admit that I was gay, and wouldn't let me say it either. So that was interesting.

    Now, though my mom knows the truth, I do know that she just thinks I'm confused, even though she wouldn't admit it.
    Still, it went better than I figured it would despite being pulled out of the closet instead of coming out myself.

    This is the first time in my life I've second guessed myself. Although go I was raised in my religion, I've spent my entire life proving to myself that I believe it, and I've always wanted to believe it. This is the first time I haven't wanted to. I know I can only have one or more he other, and I just don't want to choose. I don't want to leave my religion or choose a new one because I love it, but I don't want to give up on love and know that I'm stuck single forever. It's a rough patch right now.
     
    #1
  2. becsgotswag

    becsgotswag Member

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2016
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    15
    I do not know what religion you are or where you are from but i can tell you this..
    Religion is just as much on the inside of your heart as are your feelings about women. No one can take it away from you and no one can make you choose. I am a firm believer in god (regardless of which you choose) loves you for who you are. Regardless of what religion you are i guarantee you that people adjust beliefs everyday to suit there lives. You do not have to choose. You are who you are.

    As far as your mother goes there is a great saying
    "denial isnt just a river in egypt"
    She will come around with time, she may not like it but she will accept it because if she wasnt going to your conversation would not have been as nice as it was. I wish you the best with everything, just stay who you are :)
     
    #2
  3. Greg

    Greg Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2014
    Messages:
    188
    Likes Received:
    92
    Hi, E.T. That's a situation I've written about a bit. I wish you much love and hoping you can make peace with your religion and lesbianism. You're already a few steps ahead of where I am.
     
    #3
  4. wonderlust

    wonderlust Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2014
    Messages:
    56
    Likes Received:
    64
    Hey ElphabaTropp, I can only imagine how difficult your situation is at the moment and props to you for taking the first few steps to figuring it all out despite of how challenging it must be.

    I was born into a catholic household and while I've had my share of pray the gay away interventions (none of them done by family members fortunately), I personally didn't have a conflict with it and who I am. If I may give my two cents, I'd say why can you not have both? I believe that when you've come to accept who you are, somewhere down the line you'd also be able to reconcile it with your faith.

    Oh and taking from my own experience, playing it straight and not acting on your feelings is a recipe for disaster. It'll all bubble up in the end. At least that was the case for me.

    G'luck mate, hang in there.
     
    #4
  5. Greg

    Greg Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2014
    Messages:
    188
    Likes Received:
    92
    Hey wanderlust. That sounds terrible, I couldn't imagine being strong enough to make it through interventions for something I had no control over. Granted, they did it in But I'm A Cheerleader, but that was a movie, and a pretty goofy parody movie at that. I can understand interventions for drinking, smoking, overeating and other things people can muster the willpower to realistically overcome, but...*sigh*. It would be like intervening on someone's behalf because they're in a wheelchair, or mine because I have brown eyes. Wish people could fundamentally understand that. I'm sorry that happened to you.
     
    #5
  6. wonderlust

    wonderlust Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2014
    Messages:
    56
    Likes Received:
    64
    Err, Thanks I guess?... honestly it's not as terrible as you may have imagined it to be. I know some folks elsewhere who were subjected to interventions as you have put it, fortunately I wasn't one of them. In my case it was just some random evangelical groups in Uni attempting a pray over. Quite chill about it tbh.
     
    #6
  7. Greg

    Greg Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2014
    Messages:
    188
    Likes Received:
    92
    Oh...huh. :) Guess I made it out to be more than it really was. Maybe in reading your post there was a slight misinterpretation in my mind. Well, never mind then...at least in part. But perhaps someone else who really has been in such an unfortunate situation might stumble upon this thread as well.
    Actually, I know what happened. I was just in the process of posting this story of mine to a web site, in which a girl actually does come out to her Mom, and her Mom, who's a hardcore conservative Christian...doesn't exactly take the news too well. I guess having that in mind steered me in that direction reading your post.
     
    #7

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice