I want to service her?

Discussion in 'Advice on Meeting Women' started by GreenFinger, Apr 29, 2014.

  1. GreenFinger

    GreenFinger Member

    Apr 22, 2014
    Likes Received:
    so i'm a "Rainbow star" (Women who has never been with another woman) who is a bit new to the LGBT scene in LA. I've made a few good contacts and have caught the attention of one older women. i feel like my problem is that i get super nervous around her or any woman. I've been with men, sexually. I've been only on dates with women. I've never gotten further than kissing and it's not that i don't want to, but i feel like my confusion and nervousness ruins my chances to go any further. I think so much. so this woman and i have been talking and we hang out now and then. She's' super hard to read, but she has said that she found me attractive. i take my time to bond with a person. to be honest, if i'm not dominated into sexual advances with a woman, it's more likely that we'd never get there due to her losing interest in my slow pace.

    With men, I can be a bit aggressive and i'm okay with objectifying them. i always felt more powerful, but with women, i'm actually more submissive and willingly so. I dream of doing all sorts of things to this woman and when i think about my position, i always want to service her. but i'm so afraid that my slowness on the matter has given me the appearance of being "sexually disinterested". I feel like pinning her to the wall and kissing her everytime i see her, but i worry it would require me to objectify her.

    i've never lost myself in a person i'm objectifying. and i wouldn't expect them to lose themselves in me while i did so. I may just empty my head of her, now that i feel like she may not want me as i do her. However, my being a "rainbow star" is still an issue i need to get over.

    to clarify, I've been with men only. I've never been in deep vulnerable love filled relationships with them. it's has always felt like i was going through the motions of sex with easy guy number 1,2, or 3. It took me making friends and forming bonds with women to realize my heart is open to women and i fall in love frequently with new female friends. not always sexual, but great admiration grows for them within me. I have to hold myself back due to the fact that i can be super seductive for their attention when most of them are in relationships.

    so yeah, Rainbow girl here... I would be very unlike myself if i'd gone down on this woman. I would not want to do it poorly and she's been with women before. she would notice. it would be awkward. I wished there was some sort of school for this, haha. I'm not that open to people at first so it's a bit tough to meet someone who would allow me to practice on them. or maybe i'm just dismissing an opportunity in this woman.

    i like her, but she doesn't seem to want a relationship and has been open to feeling me up in public and even told me out of her own frustration that she wanted a girl who was sexually adventurous. however, she also expressed that she wanted more than just sex. all of her desire was too soon in knowing me and i need a connection in order for her to mean anything to me. I am very much adventurous and playful and have been rash with my sexual appetite just like she is doing, but I'm afraid that that side of my sexual mannerisms tie into my ability to cut off a connection with people. I feel like i may do that and feel nothing for her as a person. Objectification, which I don't want and she's not asking for. I respect women and I fear being objectified as well.

    I may be thinking too much in the state of mind i had when i was with men. I may need to trust myself. I did bond with her. I do have sexual thoughts of her. if i went and expressed my hunger, the outcome afterwards may be different. i only have hetero relations to compare this with. so maybe i need to do what i feel. I feel like she is waiting for me to pin her and kiss her. I want to badly. I want to touch her and taste her........ Annnnnnnnnnnnnd that's where i stop.... I've never tasted a woman. I panic every time. I'd really want to know if anyone has any advice on this matter. I want to do the best i can. i mean, how does one practice something like this. i even did researching online. should i hold off on doing something with a woman i actually like to practice with someone else? i don't want to be too loose with my lips, but considering I've never been with a women this way, i'm considering everything. advice is welcomed, please.

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