I think she likes me, but things are complicated...

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by lindsayweir13, Nov 11, 2015.

  1. lindsayweir13

    lindsayweir13 Member

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    ***
     
    #1
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2016
  2. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    First off, hugs.

    Your predicament, frankly, sucks. That being said, I met someone the very first night of law school (I wasn't out and it was a guy, but work with me here...)....and he and I ended up dating for 4 years. I've now since come out -- he's married with kids, I'm married to a woman and things are fine and we are still the best of friends. The point being -- I struggled too with dating someone with whom I was going to have to spend a lot of time (and damn, we were moot court partners first semester too, so if something really went awry, my project was majorly screwed).

    Normally I would say that dating someone at work or in school like you are is a bad thing -- but then I'd be a hypocrite, because well, I did exactly that...but I made it work. Sure..he and I broke up at one point ...and the funny thing was, our classmates sided with me and I ended up joining a co-ed legal fraternity and having a blast before he came crawling back with his tail between his legs...and then we made it work, ended up graduating and breaking up sometime after I graduated (he switched to a program where he graduated ahead of me...I went to school mostly at night)...but the point was, flash forward to now...and we're still really awesome friends (we even work on cases together).

    So...if I were you I wouldn't press..but I wouldn't rule things out either. Let things happen minus pressure if they are to happen. I think that both of you might be able to make something work because nobody outside your world of medical school is going to understand and appreciate the stresses you're facing...the time constraints of your life...nobody is going to "get" that at all. If she's only using school as an excuse and that isn't her real reason...well, then maybe you ought to move on and find someone else...but if school is the only reason as to why you're not following something that's really there, then that's not a reason at all not to take a chance. You're in medical school -- you're going to face a lot of shit...and having to be mature if a relationship goes bad is probably relatively mild in the scheme of things. And it can be done...because I've been there.
     
    #2
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2015
    rainydaze, lindsayweir13 and greylin like this.
  3. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    If she doesn't want to get involved, she doesn't want to get involved. There is nothing that you really can do but respect her boundaries on that. It sucks and it hurts, but it is what it is. No matter how many other ways you are compatible with someone, if they don't want to go there with you, there is nothing that you can do about it.

    So try to respect her boundaries, stay back, try to stay out of one on one situations with her and don't get drunk around her. Your crush will eventually fade. You might not find someone that you connect with in the same way right off the bat. But that doesn't mean that you never will. So just try to sit tight and not force things with her or anyone else.

    My wife is a Doctor. Congrats on getting into Med School. Med School and Residency are very amazing and cool, but also very stressful and challenging.
     
    #3
  4. lindsayweir13

    lindsayweir13 Member

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    Yeah, I definitely want to respect her boundaries and definitely don't want to force it. Am avoiding substance use of any kind when in her company so I don't do anything disrespectful or let myself get bent out of shape. I'm an anxious person anyway, so I suppose the stress of school and readjusting in a new place are probably causing me to blow this whole thing out of proportion. Thanks for letting me vent, though. the people in this community always impress me with their kindness and support. And thanks spygirl for letting me know these things can happen with mature adults. it's not something I will count on, but at least I don't feel crazy...
     
    #4
    rainydaze, greylin and Spygirl like this.

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