I think I failed my 1st attempt at dating

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by Jet Buraga, Jun 11, 2015.

  1. Jet Buraga

    Jet Buraga Guest

    Hi :)

    Me: newly single (about 1.5mths now) in the lesbian scene after a 4year relationship. Complete newb and don't know how to be single.

    Situation: I met this chick through mutual friends whilst I was with my ex-gf. We didn't talk much as I was in a relationship, but I believe there was something there. Once my ex and I were no longer together, we talked more. Well aactually, SnapChat (everyday) don't know if that's considered talking as such. Anyway, about a week and a half ago I was going through issues with my ex. I SnapChat my sad face to her in which she actually texted asking if everything was ok. Fast forward: We finally went out for coffee Sunday night. It was nice, we talked about past relationships and reasons why they failed. No awkwardness and a lot of witty banter. Tuesday, after my friend stalks her, sent me a screenshot of a conversation between her and another girl. I stupidly got jealous, and for whatever reason sent her the screenshot. Played on it lightly and mucked around with her about it. Obviously, she drew up defences and said they were just friends. Not sure why I even did that, I don't even know what was happening between us. I guess I scared her off though... after that, I left her alone yesterday until I just needed to clear the air... so I sent her a text last night. Told her I was sorry for looking like a psycho. Sorry for my friend and jumping to conclusions. I told her I liked her, but would understand should she not want to talk to me again.
    After 3hrs, she responds with: Sorry I'm at work
    So I take my friends advice and just leave it at that. I don't respond as she is at work, and I've pretty much laid all my cards on the table. So you would think after work she would text or call or something right, but she doesn't.

    Am I right in thinking that I just completely blew it and the whole situation freaked her out. Her response was more out of courtesy than anything else and she just doesn't want anything to do with me anymore?
  2. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

    Jul 2, 2013
    Likes Received:
    Frankly, your actions come across as creepy, possessive, and stalkerish. With no defined boundaries, you're sending her screenshots of chats with another girl? Seriously? You had absolutely no legitimate basis to be jealous -- you're not in a relationship with this girl. It's none of your business who she talks to outside of you.

    I wouldn't have called or texted you either after a move like that. But if I did, I'd have made it clear that there would definitely be no chance that I'd want anything to do with you.

    Sorry if this is harsh..but come on. You take these kinds of actions while not even being in a relationship....I'd be totally scared of what the hell you might do in terms of possessive and creepy if I were actually in a relationship with you.
    Eloise and Bluenote like this.
  3. Jet Buraga

    Jet Buraga Guest

    That's fair call and I assumed as much. To my defence though, it wasn't me that did the stalking. It was my friend who had good intentions as she thought she was already in a relationship and didn't want me to get hurt. Yes, bad judgement on my part forwarding it on to her. I did make light of the situation even telling her that she didn't have to explain who the other girl was as I had no right to have a say.

    So yes, I made it clear that I wasn't expecting an explanation because I KNEW I had no right to know. However, I can see how things may have been interpreted and hence why I sent the other msg last night to try clear the air. Obviously too much had been done to redeem myself at that point.
  4. Eloise

    Eloise Well-Known Member

    Jul 26, 2013
    Likes Received:
    First, people have got to stop using the word "stalk." Stalking is evil and creepy and is done by psycho people who mean harm to others. Like death. Just stop saying it when it's not actually stalking. The internet is a public place. Anything you put on the internet is open for anyone to see and read and interpret. It's not stalking to look someone up on the internet.

    Secondly, just because someone goes out with you once it doesn't mean she's as interested in you as you may be in her. She sounds like she's keeping her options open. If she didn't say she wanted to date you then you can't expect exclusivity. If she did then she's either not monogomous or a bit of a dick. Either way, if you discover someone you're interested in is paying attention to others don't throw it in her face. She might not have been interested in the other woman, but you'll never know now.
  5. Jet Buraga

    Jet Buraga Guest

    Thanks guys. I've definitely taken a lot from this. I haven't been single for a good 12years and it takes a little getting use too.

    Update: I'm fortunate that she understood. Whilst we have gone back to square 1, she hasn't completely written me off... which is all I could have asked for.

    Thank you :)
    greylin likes this.
  6. sundancer

    sundancer Well-Known Member

    Jul 4, 2013
    Likes Received:
    Have you considered taking a bit of a break unless you want to have a rebound/fling? It might clear your head a little bit as well so in the future you don't come across as a little creepy.

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