I self-sabotaged, can I un-sabotage now?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by anonymous173, Oct 15, 2013.

  1. anonymous173

    anonymous173 New Member

    Oct 15, 2013
    Likes Received:
    Oh hello!

    Le sigh, I have a situation. So I got out of a heart-wrenching relationship in May and I didn't realize how bitter and self-sabotaging it made me until I met "J". She totally wasn't my type (but still adorable) so when she gave me her number I thought I'd give her a chance just because "my type" wasn't working so well for me. She's a few years younger than me and she's just a ball of energy, a spitfire. Makes me laugh like no one else. She treated me like I've treated girls in the past and I started really liking her. So naturally I go into "self-destruct" mode and am a total asshat to her. I push her away, I tell her I'm just waiting for her to be a jerk like the rest of them, and yet I still get clingy and needy. Suffice to say, she didn't feel like starting a relationship with me. Surprise! Ha...anyway, now we hardly talk (I'm still super close with her best friend) and it's really bumming me out. I was honest with her about my issues and she has been nothing but sweet to me. We had a heart to heart where I apologized and she expressed interest in being friends in the future (going on adventures, as she said…haha) but my question is this:

    Now that I've got my shit together and have worked through my own problems independent of friends or romance, how do I work towards a friendship with her when in the back of my mind I want things to work out for us as a couple again? I can't let go of the idea of her yet and I miss the crap out of her. She's very aloof and career-minded right now and while I want to spend time with her, I don't want to come off as needy again.

    I've never been one to keep girls around that I was romantically involved with, but this girl hit a nerve. She got me out of my heteronormative relationship box (only dating girly girls as a more masculine girl) and just made me happy…

    So help me? I feel like I just need the chance to prove myself as a normal human being but don't know how to go about getting it…
  2. Maison Clicquot

    Maison Clicquot Well-Known Member

    Sep 10, 2013
    Likes Received:
    "I self-sabotaged" =)) lmao with tears.
    Take chances, it sounds like she's a cool person. You can't predict the future and you can't know how your relationship will evolve. If she is not like the other girls, then don't expect the same ending at least.

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