I need to present her something valuable

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by RuthBei, Oct 19, 2016.

  1. RuthBei

    RuthBei New Member

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    Hi there,
    I am worried now. We are dating for 3 yrs and started living together. For the last 3 yrs, she spent her most of the times with me and often say she likes me but after we started to live together I found out that she is hanging out with other girlfriends. Even though she says that they are just friends I suspect their relationship. They are always spending their nights together and exchanging gifts etc. She didn't give me any gifts still now and always ask me to get her something. I think that she is avoiding me because I didn't gift her something valuable, I am thinking to resign my mother's ring and give it as a special gift for her because I lack in money. I heard that some rings may cost high for resizing as per the metal used http://www.pheradiamonds.com/will-resizing-ring-damage/, I am worried whether the resizing damages the ring and I loose my money. Also, the ring should look new. What else can I gift her other than the ring? Her friend is rich I hope, she always gift something costly. Hope that she will be happy if I present her something and come back to me.
     
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  2. mariannek2u

    mariannek2u Well-Known Member

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    She likes you?? Not love?
    If you are unsure of the relationship you have to think if you want to give your mothers ring away. In a relationship it should not matter if you buy somebody expensive gifts, but more the reason for the gift. It doesn't have to be expensive. For instense if she really would like to a certain movie or something. Make a day out of it. Make her feel special! Doenst matter what the gift is. Really could be as simple as just a romantic day together (no phone's aloud;)), make something she loves to eat, nice glass of wine (if she likes that) put on a movie, light some candles .....im just trying to think creative. But that wont solve your question right now. I dont know about the ex. I hang out with my ex but i realy really really dont have feelings for her anymore but she is one of my best friends. But if she isnt that into you anymore buying an expensive gift probably wont work
     
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  3. RuthBei

    RuthBei New Member

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    If she doesn't love me then why she is living with me?
     
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  4. mariannek2u

    mariannek2u Well-Known Member

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    I dont know. But if my partner would say she likes me...not love but likes there would be alarm bells going off in my head. But that could be me :)
    I lived in a relationship where i wasnt happy but because we were living together had a hard time taking that step to break up.
     
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  5. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    Desperate people do desperate things.

    You pose the question "if she doesn't love me then why is she living with me?" Well, there could be a lot of reasons -- convenience, economics, she's comfortable with you. Love does not have to be the reason.

    It sounds like you're in that desperate to do something phase. Trust those little voices in your head..the ones that make you suspicious. You've said it yourself -- she's not spending time with you but choosing to spend time with others. You've used the words "come back" to me....seems to me if you're thinking in those terms you've already lost her. You're about to gift her a very sentimental ring to try to "win her back." She's avoiding you because it sounds like something else is going on with this other person.

    The things is...her love for you should not be dependent upon the gifts you give her; it should not be dependent on money. She should love you for WHO you are. Conversely, if you have to "buy" someone's love, then that isn't love. Love can't be bought.

    Please don't make the mistake of resizing your mother's ring if it's important to you. I'm willing to bet that deep down you know the relationship is over. She should be honest with you and you should be honest with yourself. You deserve someone who's going to love you as much as you love her -- and from the limited details you're providing, that's not the woman you're with now.
     
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    mariannek2u likes this.
  6. mariannek2u

    mariannek2u Well-Known Member

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    I so agree with you!
     
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