I need some input

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by Golferchick19, Nov 2, 2014.

  1. Golferchick19

    Golferchick19 Member

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    Hello all, I'd first like to say that I appreciate any advice you are willing to give me. So I work with this girl whom I am starting to really like. This is not an "I work with her so I don't know if it's a good idea" type thing, I'm not worried about that. My problem is that I don't know if she's interested in me or not. When we work together, we laugh nonstop, tease each other, she sometimes sneaks up on me, etc. Well a group of us went out this past week and she was leaning on me and wanted me to be next to her the whole time. When I'm with her, it's just easy. Here are the problems, I haven't been with anyone for 8 years, so I don't know whats flirting or what's friendly. I don't know if she's gay (or open to the idea), her family is super religious, she goes to "church" classes. And I don't even know if she knows that I'm gay. Of course, it's not something that I hide AT ALL, I am very comfortable with who I am. My entire group knows, but she's fairly new to the group (even though her best friend was already in the group.) but it's not like I sat her down and said hey I'm gay.
    I know that I'm flirting with her but is she flirting with me, too? She was talking about how work sucked and I said, "Monday will be fun though." And she said, "True because you'll be there." And then I was teasing her and I said, "I'm sorry that was mean, I'll get you some ice for that burn!" And she said, "ok bring me some ice cream and it will fix it." I just don't know, I'm starting to really have feelings for this girl. What's your guys' thoughts? And what should I do to let this girl know that I like her?
     
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  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    For some reason, while reading through your post, I have "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" running through my head. I could be wrong but the vibe I get is that she just want some uncomplicated fun with the girls to break up her work day. Flirting is not out of the question with straight women, it is just that they usually don't mean it.
     
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  3. Coffee Addict

    Coffee Addict Well-Known Member

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    It looks like she is being friendly with you and she likes you as friend. I agree with greylin on that.

    If you want to let her know you are gay (just to make sure she knows), you can bring that up in a conversation casually. For example, "yes, my ex-girlfriend used to love that". If you are unsure how serious is her "flirting" with you, just ask her. if she says something kinda flirty you can say "are you flirting with me?, be careful I might like it and believe you are"

    Now, as far as letting her know you like her like her, that is tricky. She seems close to you but how personal is the interaction? Although, if she is making you fall with her flirting, and she doesn't mean it, maybe you should let her now that so she is more careful.
     
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  4. sundancer

    sundancer Well-Known Member

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    If her best friend works with you, she probably already knows that you're gay. Going to church or having a religious family does not equate to being not gay friendly - I actually do go to church as well (but I 'graduated' from Sunday school ages ago :p).

    That said, if you want to let her know just in case she hasn't heard / guessed that you are gay, you can just casually mention it like, "Oh, my ex-girlfriend used to say ______", or "My ex-girlfriend and I used to do ____ for fun sometimes" kind of thing and see how it goes.
     
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  5. Golferchick19

    Golferchick19 Member

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    Hey everyone, thanks for the replies/advice! I thought I'd give everyone an update. Yesterday we worked together and same thing, laughing/joking/having fun/teasing each other. My heart kind of dropped at one of the conversations though. We were talking about people who hug and how and can be awkward and she said that "This person she has kind of been seeing has friends who hug you when they first meet you." I found out she was talking about a guy :( It did strike me as odd that she described him as a person (Not the usual, this guy I'm kind of seeing) maybe I read too much into that. So I removed myself from the conversation. Later, we started talking again and she we started talking about gay people (confirming that she knows that I'm a lesbian) and how gay marriage is legal here now. Anyway, she said that her friend used to be gay and how after she had known her friend for 5 years, the friend told her that she used to have a crush on her and she said that she told the friend, "Why didn't you tell me this 5 years ago?" And that her friend said she was afraid that she would get weird and it would ruin their friendship and she says that she told her, "She wouldn't care." Then I said, "Oh so she missed her opportunity then." And she replied, "Right?!" Anyway, now I'm all kinds of confused because I really like this girl and I didn't initiate any of the conversation about "gayness". What do you guys think?
     
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  6. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    I would say that is a really strong signal there. I think the "person" vs "guy" thing was interesting too. Since she is seeing someone I would bide my time and get her to talk about her "person" and find out more about her herself. Then swoop in and ask her out if there is any indication that she is not serious with this guy or they are no longer going out.
     
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  7. Coffee Addict

    Coffee Addict Well-Known Member

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    You can follow her lead and actually tell her you like her. You can say "I don't want to be like your friend who told you too late" and then you tell her you like her :) You don't want to miss your chance. The good thing is you know she won't freak out
     
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