I live in New Zealand and theres like no lesb...

Discussion in 'Advice (Dear AE...)' started by Hope, May 4, 2014.

  1. Hope

    Hope Member

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    Just joined this after Ellen thing as I heard about it on youtube and thought I'd give it a go. I'm 20 years old and I live in New Zealand and maybe I'm just not looking carefully enough but wow I really struggle to find any chicks who are gay, It's made me feel pretty isolated at university and stuff because all though I have lots of friends etc etc it's been kind of shit lately because they have all gone and got boyfriends and I'm just chilling haha. I don't desperately want to find the love of my life or anything but it would be cool to find people to chat to who are on my wave length haha. How does everyone else meet their gay friends? deffs don't come to NZ if your a lesbian their deffs a scarce breed here hahaha.
     
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  2. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

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    Re: I live in New Zealand and theres like no ...

    OH Dear...Don't be bursting our NZ girls are awesome bubble...It's no use it none of them are gay!
    So Option A> emigrate! Folks in the UK and Ireland looooveee the Kiwi accent and you would have a que for sure. So yea, that. haha

    Option B (and a little more seriously)...how do you meet gay friends? Well, several ways.
    1> some kinda gay group. Like a gay society, center, drop in place, cafe, sports group. Is there any? Are you sure? if you immediately think 'Nooooo'. Google the shit out of it. Look on boards and hang outs. They are there, just hard to find maybe. I moved to shitville about 10 years ago from a big city and it took my about 6 months of determined Googling to find them, cause sometimes their presence is sporadic or even doesn't have the word 'gay' in the group name. But the point is, once I found them, I met loads of them.

    2, Online dating sites. Gaydargirls or similar. You might have to travel initially to bigger cities initially to meet people, if you are living in a small place, but ....You could advertise yourself as looking for friendship which takes the scare factor out of it.

    3, Is there anyone at all you think looks gay? That you know in real life? If so, make friends and come out. Once gay buddy is awesome and the two of you can join forces for forages to gay clubs etc to extend your social scene.

    It's crap to be 20 and know no gay people cause that's when you should be running around having a great buzz. So you are gonna have to get proactive about this shit girl and be a bit brave too and find them. Good luck!
     
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  3. deaddance

    deaddance Active Member

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    Re: I live in New Zealand and theres like no ...

    I don't know where you live in New Zealand but I live in Auckland and it is not bad... or as bad as you seem to think. The people around you are likely not entirely as straight as you might have imagined, I only have a few lesbian friends but a lot of girls I know fall somewhat in the bisexual spectrum :mrgreen:
    You don't need to start wearing a bow tie everywhere (unless of course, that's your personal style) or a rainbow wristband (it could be helpful if you want to attract closeted women), basically just solidly affirm to people that you are gay.
    Old me would never really be bold enough to talk about my sexuality, I would tell myself it was nobody's b'ness but it led to me having a lot of weird embarrassing phases including: being shoved back into a closet by befriending a lot of straight religious homophobic women, cutting all my hair off and becoming the most embarrassing Joan Jett wannabe, avoiding everyone. Over time I learned that inner boldness was all the really mattered. So the best advice I can give you is just be yourself and people will gravitate toward that confidence.
     
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  4. tabby123456

    tabby123456 Member

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    Re: I live in New Zealand and theres like no ...

    Hey! Totally agree... I live in Auckland and its impossible to meet other lesbians .. Especially cause I'm not 100% open
     
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