I like my effing straight boss

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by FDUP, Jan 25, 2014.

  1. FDUP

    FDUP Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2014
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    As has so often happened for me, I've fallen for a straight girl. It really sucks. The last girl I had a sudden crush on was my yoga teacher, but I was able to take classes with other teachers and get over it eventually. Unfortunately, this time it's the manager at my new job, so I can't avoid her.

    What do I do? I hate that I feel this way. The second day I came into work I was just suddenly attracted to her, and I'm trying to ignore it, but I can't help being attracted to her. She's a very friendly, touchy-feely type, which makes it even worse. Today, she put her hand on my cheek to show me how cold it was and electric waves went across my skin. I also can't help flirting with her, and I'm really trying not to, but I do it unconsciously. When I'm talking to her or with her and someone else, I can't help making fun of her or joking around with her. Which people usually do when they like someone.

    I'm really trying not to flirt, but I just can't help liking her. And I don't want to because she's very straight. For one thing, she talks about the hot guys at the bar, and for another thing, she's kind of seeing this guy who's abroad most of the year so it's complicated, but she likes him. So, regardless of her status, she's into guys. And she's my boss, so even if she were magically single and gay (heaven forbid something like that ever happening for me), it would still be a sticky situation.

    What do I do???!! Each time I go to work I can't help having feelings for her, then I go home and employ my best tactics to forget/repress/ignore those feelings, but the moment I go back into work and talk to her, I start to like her. It's like the opposite of injecting a drug, it feels amazing for a second to have that crush feeling, then I feel completely horrible because I feel like a creep, I know she isn't and can never be interested, and I have to struggle with being that attracted.

    Another thing, I rarely fall for people, but when I do I fall really hard. And by people, I mean girls. Shit. This sucks!! Well, thanks for reading this and if you have ANY advice it would be appreciated. I also come from a loving and religious family who has no idea I'm gay, but if they found out they would still love me but be disgusted. Which is even worse. And I am obviously struggling with my sexuality, but that's another topic. Thank you for reading!
     
    #1
  2. sundancer

    sundancer Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2013
    Messages:
    516
    Likes Received:
    67
    Mmm, I'm with you there with the difficult to fall for people thing. As for your boss, you're doing a good job by trying to not fall for her. Have you tried meeting other lesbians to try and get your mind off it?

    As for the family thing. I come from a religious family, and I'm also religious myself. I struggled a lot with my sexuality when I was younger, but I'm ok with it now. My family still loves me, and they don't really say anything. That said, I'm not sure how they would handle it if I ended up with a female for life.
     
    #2
  3. FDUP

    FDUP Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2014
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    It would help to meet other lesbians, but I'm not really sure how to. I just moved to a new city (DC, anybody from there??) which is supposed to be full of lesbians but I haven't met any yet. I might drag my straight friend to a gay club with me, but I don't really know how else to meet lesbians. There needs to be a spot where they all congregate!
     
    #3
  4. sundancer

    sundancer Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2013
    Messages:
    516
    Likes Received:
    67
    I actually met a girl on AE 2 years ago who lived in Silver Springs(?) but she works in DC. I don't know if she visits here any more though.

    Have you tried Meetup.com? I'm from a small capital city in Australia (larger than DC though) and I was surprised they have a lesbian group. Alternatively you could try making one if there isn't one, and some random people might join in?
     
    #4
  5. shutterspeed

    shutterspeed Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2014
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    I feel you. I also had a straight boss that I had a crush on. I think i liked her because of the idea that despite the fact that she's so feminine, she still has that air of command and intelligence. At first it was also a good feeling because I am very motivated when I go to work. But I think it's the reality that struck me that I can't and won't push for her because being a lesbian is still not widely accepted in the workplace. It's sad really but it helped me focus on other things. I think what you can do best at this point is try to limit your social conversations and keep your discussions about work. Of course don't make it look like you're avoiding her. That would make it worst because she may ask you what's changed and you may get stuck explaining something you can't tell. The suggestion by @sundancer to meet other lesbians will be a great help!

    So let me say goodluck to you and I really hope you get to move on without too much heartache.

    Enjoy life!
     
    #5
  6. FDUP

    FDUP Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2014
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    That is totally it, I like her because she's in a leadership position and it's sexy to see a woman be so commanding haha. I've been trying to tell myself that there's nothing wrong with liking women, it's just pointless to like someone who's straight and my boss. I didn't have the same angsty crush feelings today at work, which was good. I think I'm over it because I have to be, but it definitely sucks to have to stop liking someone again, just because she's straight. Liking someone seems to be one of the most natural things in the world, so it's shitty to have to stop those feelings! Anyway, I'm just glad that I'm over this girl. On to my next failed straight girl crush/denial of gayness haha. Thank you for the comments!
     
    #6

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice