I know she likes me but....

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by crazy-one, Nov 27, 2014.

  1. crazy-one

    crazy-one Member

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    Hi to everybody,

    I'm new here and I desperately need some advice.

    To make story short - 1-2 months ago I went to local lesbian chat and meet one girl that night. Actually she was really annoying at first and acting like some kind of predator to me. I wasn't really interested in her but continued to chat on Skype since I gave her my ID.

    After few weeks she becomes interesting to me, something just changed. But she told me she has a girlfriend. She just wants me to be her friend because she "not cheating". Time goes on and we started to spend lot of online time together, added each other on Facebook, called each other on Skype etc.

    And she told me that if she is not in relationship that she would be with me, that's why I know she likes me. She also mentioned that her girlfriend is jealous and she doesn't like that. She wants to meet me.

    Now my question is can I expect something to happen when we meet each other? I think I could like her much and I don't want to be just her friend. I know that kind of situation and I'm not that kind of fool anymore.
     
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  2. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member

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    Ooooooooooooooo crikey. Leave this girl alone, she has a girlfriend anyone who starts with "If I didn't have a girlfriend..." is saying something to make you feel good BUT she has a girlfriend. Don't be this girl's play thing, she flirts with you and then goes back and has a relationship with her girlfriend. Go back out and meet someone available, who won't hurt you.

    So my main piece of advice is leave this girl (and her girlfriend) alone and find someone who's worthy of you.
     
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  3. crazy-one

    crazy-one Member

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    Well that is not really what I wanted to read but you may be right. :( At least I want to meet her and if I like her I will tell her. Then I will go away so she can decide. At least I know I won't be her "best friend" for listening about her problems in relationship.
     
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  4. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    What the heck is wrong with you? She has a gf, but you are moving on in anyhow? Flirting, skype, trying to meet up with her?

    Here is my advice to you: cheating isn't cool. You are trying to cheat. Not cool. Go find a woman who does not have a gf.

    She's also using the superlamest setups 'if I didn't have gf, I'd be with you.' Jaysus, I threw up a little reading that. It's a cliched as 'I really love my gf, but we rarely have sex anymore' or 'I really love her and don't want to hurt her, but I've never connected with anyone the way I do with you.' Lord, my stomach hurts; where's the pepto?

    She's not even trying to be smart with the setup, so major points off for that, too.

    Now, lets suspend morals for a moment and I'll give you my advice for someone who has no morals about cheating. Still steer clear of her. She is trying to set you up to be a fling or sex on the side or something. If you just want sex, there are much easier (and less messy) ways to go about it than cheating with someone.

    Sex requires trust. It doesn't mean you have to be in a relationship, in love, etc... but it does mean trust. "Do you have an STD?" "Are you over 18?" "Do you have a scary bf / gf who is gonna come and try and hurt me?" "are you secretly filming this to put on the interwebs?" See, lots of trust issues.

    My advice is, I would not trust someone who is clearly feeding you dumb lines to put you on the string. "Do you have an STD." "oh no baby, I just got tested." Bullshit.

    Move on and find someone nice and available. Or who at least uses creative lines. Good Lord.
     
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  5. crazy-one

    crazy-one Member

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    @Bluenote, actually she is flirting and trying to meet me. I was and I'm still really reserved but she keeps sending messages every day.

    And yeah it seems like only girls in relationships meet me these days.
     
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  6. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member

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    She's playing games with you if she's instigating, this girl is not good news. She doesn't deserve your attention.
     
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  7. crazy-one

    crazy-one Member

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    I guess I really don't have luck :(
     
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  8. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member

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    These things happen. Just dust yourself off and head back to meeting AVAILABLE girls, you won't meet anyone pinning over a girl in a relationship on skype.
     
    #8
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  9. Narley

    Narley Well-Known Member

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    Crazy one, I agree completely with what Bluenote and Nancy said, the only thing I can add is that often our first gut instinct about a person turns out to be the one we should have listened to in the first place. Your first impression was that she was almost predator like in her approach to you. I think I'd definitely be cautious of anything this girl said or says to you. More than likely she's only saying it with only one motivation in mind. For her to be acting as she is with a girlfriend says all you needed to know in the first place. I'd drop her like a sack of rotten potatoes if I were you.
     
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  10. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Rationalization. You're thinking about it even though you know she has a gf, is feeding you lines, etc...

    Can't blame it all on her. Accept your part and move on.
     
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  11. crazy-one

    crazy-one Member

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    Thanks all for your advices it really gives me different view to my situation. I've suspected there may be game but didn't know game can be that bad. On the other hand, maybe now I don't seem like that but I'm not person who gives others to play games with me. She became interesting to me because she is different then other girls I meet, she seems like strong person but I am too. I don't want to give her play her game and win I want to be winner. I want to tell her: "break up with your girlfriend and be with me or go away. " And I want to tell her that in her eyes, not over skype etc. I want to win in her game. And to win in fair way. Is this idea makes me crazy enough? :)
     
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  12. crazy-one

    crazy-one Member

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    I'll have to discover about that. Sometimes I have mixed feelings when I like and when I don't like her.
     
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  13. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

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    Hmmmm...I get that you don't intend to cheat and will request that she leaves her gf if she wants to pursue anything with you. And that's ok I guess....relationships end, new ones start. It's life.

    I also understand from your post that you don't know yet if you really like her, which is why you want to meet her...to see and be sure. And ok, you guys might have raging chemistry and she might commit to a course of action. ..and everything think will b fine and dandy.

    But if you are not sure when you meet her, don't rush or let her try and talk you into anything. Honestly, I'm not all that keen on her from the way u described her. A minority of attached ladies go online with hopeful genuine intentions of moving forward towards a new happier life if they are in unhappy relationships. A minority. The rest are looking to cheat, or get some titillation or are bored or manipulative or ...many things. None of them good, for you. So just proceed with a bit of wariness and don't wear your heart on your sleeve too much. You seem like a nice lady. Remember that you deserve a nice lady too.
     
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  14. Just Me

    Just Me Well-Known Member

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    You're both playing mind games with each other, and you both like it. That's disgustingly disturbing behavior, maybe you deserve each other.

    Have you taken time to think about what it would be like if you were in her girlfriends situation?

    How would you like it if she did leave her girlfriend for you? Would you be ok if she kept her dating profile, chatted up other girls every night, and you were the chick on the side?

    I feel sorry for the girl putting up with that BS...

    This entire situation is a mess, like a full out perfect shit storm. If I were you, I would block the chick and stay as far away as possible. There's always other peeps out there to connect with.
     
    #14
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  15. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Liking the signature @Just Me , very efficient there with the DSLM / Dating advice!
     
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  16. crazy-one

    crazy-one Member

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    Yes I'm curious about her, can't help it. Thanks for your advice. :)
     
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  17. crazy-one

    crazy-one Member

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    She admits she is not really monogamous type, but I understand that because I was like that when I was younger but now I could settle down. And if her gf doesn't want to go to gay party with her because she is jealous then it is some serious jealousy I guess.
     
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    Last edited: Nov 28, 2014
  18. crazy-one

    crazy-one Member

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    I feel sorry for her gf. Honestly. But if she wants to leave her she would do that with or without me. Or maybe she doesn't want to leave her. On the other hand my ex left me because she fell in love for her friend.
     
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  19. Narley

    Narley Well-Known Member

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    I'm sorry crazy one but I have to agree with Just me's last post. People who play with fire will get burned. What actually sadden's me the most about this whole situation is the fact that you're not really allowing yourself to think about the poor girlfriend. Please at least stop your games for a moment and put yourself in her shoes. Ok it's naughty for this person to even approach you in the first place and you didn't know to begin with, but you do now. I really think the only way you can actually "win" in this little game you're playing is to just not play your part in this at all.
     
    #19
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  20. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    I'm surprised nobody's said it already. The fact that she's spending online time flirting with you, saying things like "if she didn't have a g/f"....etc. SHE'S ALREADY CHEATING. Not physically, but emotionally. To me that's worse. I don't condone cheating at all. But, to me emotional cheating is almost worse than physical cheating -- if there is a distinction. I mean someone can get drunk and physical things lead to a mistake -- but an emotional affair to me is always intentional.

    This girl likes having her ego fed and she likes that you're giving her attention. She makes herself feel better and less guilty by disclosing she has a g/f, but she's encouraging you all the same. If she cared at all about her g/f, she wouldn't be acting this way with you -- meaning, if she truly liked you, she'd end things with the g/f first. Instead, she wants to have her cake and eat it too.

    And the line about "And she told me that if she is not in relationship that she would be with me, that's why I know she likes me...." You "know" she likes you because she said it? Oh dear....If you're this easy to manipulate, then I have some oceanfront property in Iowa to sell you. Stop being so naive.

    What have you to gain by this? Being the one who destroys a relationship? Even if you do and you end up with "the girl"...who's to say she won't try this behavior with someone else? Getting online and flirting with someone else is perfectly ok because in her mind it's not cheating so long as she discloses she has a g/f.

    By striving to meet her anyway also tells me that you're pretty selfish. Think about that for a minute. Then think about how you would feel in the g/f's shoes.

    But go for it if you want to. Try to "out game" her game. Then when things go bad (because they will), you can post another thread where most of us on here can say "told you so." Sorry to be so harsh - but many of us on here..Moses, Nancy, Just Me, Bluenote...have experienced this kind of crap ourselves. Don't expect advice if you don't want honest answers.
     
    #20
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2014
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