I have a crush on my Doctor.

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by TiggerFan, Jun 10, 2019.

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Would you want to know if a patient has a crush on you

  1. Yes

    33.3%
  2. No

    66.7%
  3. Depends

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. TiggerFan

    TiggerFan Member

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    Hi, first let me say any advice you could offer would be greatly appreciated. I had a major health issue in 2015, which is fine now. I see a few doctors every six months for general follow ups to make sure everything is going ok. I have had a crush on one of my doctors for going on 2 years now. I would love to be able to shake it off, but up until now, I have been unable to. She is one the doctors that I see every 6 months. She is stunning and I cannot get her off of my mind. I am not even sure that she dates women, but fairly sure she is single. Because my medical issue could have turned out to be really bad, I am now trying to make myself let people know how I feel, and I would like to get to know this woman and would like to ask her out for drinks or something, but I do not want to cross the professional line, or make her feel uncomfortable, and at the same time, dont want to miss the opportunity to get to know her outside of her profession. We are both in our 50s. Any Docs want to share crush story, and how they handled it?
     
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  2. Dana68

    Dana68 Member

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    Hiya I have had a similar experience to yours. We went out for drinks a couple of times and had a great night. I always thought there could of been something there between us. She’s straight but sometimes gave me a look that wasn’t just as a friend. I eventually, subtly, told get how I felt about her and she knocked me back. More than anything I was embarrassed as felt I’d ruined a good friendship. Please don’t tell her. If she already knows your gay and you hang out together a few more times, if she’s interested she might make the 1st move.
     
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  3. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    It is unethical for a doctor to date you. You could be signing yourself off as a patient because some doctors just don't have enough malpractice insurance.

    Most doctors don't want to go out with their patients as friends, and if they are emotionally involved, it could compromise them. Please don't put someone who is caring for you and there to be appreciated for her skills as well as trying to make a living in such a situation.
     
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  4. TiggerFan

    TiggerFan Member

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    Thanks Dana, I appreciate your response.
     
    #4
    Dana68 likes this.
  5. TiggerFan

    TiggerFan Member

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  6. TiggerFan

    TiggerFan Member

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    Hey Greylin, thanks for responding. I never thought of it from a malpractice angle. I would never want to put her in a situation. I have never told anyone that I have a crush on her. I guess I just needed to post it here, so that the "voice of reason" would stop me from making a huge mistake. Thanks again
     
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  7. TiggerFan

    TiggerFan Member

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    " voices of reason"
     
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  8. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    It is easy to like someone like that. Please enjoy her healing presence and good health to you! :)
     
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  9. Dana68

    Dana68 Member

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    Your welcome. I hope everything works out for you
     
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  10. RiverPlate

    RiverPlate Member

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    Hey TiggerFan
    I'm a Doc myself, and I can tell you m vision from the other side of the desk. I guess your Doc is a very private person who prefers to keep her non-medical life outside of the office. In my country women (docs and patients!) talk ALL the time about hubby, kids, relationships.... except the gay ones, who would NEVER share that during practice as it is not well seen. Most of us are closeted and will go on that way even if we suspect other colleagues to be in the same situation. That said, I definitely had a crush here and there with a colleague, or a resident, or a patient. I never allowed it to surface and I'm very grateful for that. If things don't flow, there is no point in pushing it (and I got super useful advice here for a question i posted in this forum earlier in such a stituation!) So far, not a single one of those crushes has gone into a major interest for me, they were just transient. Besides the fact that it will probably NOT work (that's just statistics), I would strongly advise you to let it go, because it would be a very uncomfortable situation in almost any way: if she feels somehow uncomfortable that could make her feel harassed , if she likes you but -as me- doesn't want to mix private and professional, if she accepts and you go out and have a fling and then you split. It's most unlikely that your soulmate is in front of you and the thing doesn't flow, I always think things happen exactly as they should.
    So if this is stuck it's because the energy necessary to flow from both parts and make the thing move is just not there.
    The only (ONLY!) thing you could do is test the waters in a very (VERY!!!!!!) casual, very indirect way, in a moment where you ARE NOT physically close; example: mentioning that happened with an ex GF when she is washing her hands, or writing, or doing something, but NOT looking at you or touching you. In that way, you could read her body language and check for signs of interest or reject, without putting you in an uncomfortable situation. Then it should be her turn to give you a hint. But as I say, I don't think it's a good idea at all to get you involved. I hope you find soon another object of interest, and believe me: most Docs are boring, obsessive creatures, we are too complicated folks :) Good Luck!!!!!
     
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  11. TiggerFan

    TiggerFan Member

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    Hi River, I cant tell you how much I appreciate you taking the time to respond to my post. I was hoping a doctor would reply so I could get an opinion from the other side. First, let me say that I would love to not be crushing on this woman. My crush on her is not new, there is just something about her and I have been trying to get past it for some time now (2 yrs) with zero success. I am always making sure that I dont say or do anything that would be considered crossing the professional line. She just seems like she would be a blast to hang out with and get to know, outside of the seriousness of her profession. She is also from another country, so I am sure that plays a part in her not appearing to be out. I will definately take all of the advice I have received here, it just would have been nice to meet her under different circumstances and not as a patient. Thanks again Doc.
     
    #11

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