I broke up with her on valentines

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by thecirrhosismachine, Feb 14, 2014.

  1. thecirrhosismachine

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    OKay, so I understand it was a dick move, but I only properly realised how I felt today. I said it outloud to my mum, and then chatting to her felt like lying. We;ve always had an honesty pact, and she hates lying. I just can't believe I'm that person. I'm the person that she'll talk about when she's older and everyone will agree that she was lucky to be shot of me.

    i just don't feel the same about her anymore. We're long distance, and been together 9 months. I just feel that the relationship was over from my perspective, but now I'm this massive wanker. Was it always going to be like this? Or is it just because I did it today?

    I don't think I'm normal. I'm not particularly sad that it's over. I don't think I'm even sad that she's sad. I don't really feel anything, except annoyed at what other people will think. How self centred is that? I do care about her. I really care about how she is, I just don't feel it.

    I want to be a good person and feel like I did when we got together. I just don't, and thought it was wrong to pretend I did. This isn't even really a question. There's just so much onlune about being dumped, and I'm that dickhead on the other side. And all that info feels like I'm a bad person. Please tell me i'm not.
     
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  2. sundancer

    sundancer Well-Known Member

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    Weelll... tbh you probably got some extra flack because it's Valentine's Day. But now that you've done it, you can't go crying about spilt milk. You made your bed, and now you have to lay in it. If you truly felt that the relationship was over, and you don't love her any more then it was a good move to break up with her - regardless of what day it is. Just probably be mindful that you shouldn't do it next time on 'important' days like Christmas, New Years, etc...
     
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  3. Cricket

    Cricket Well-Known Member

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    Valentine's Day is a fake holiday.
     
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  4. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    Think about it this way: which is worse? Pretending to have a happy Valentine's all the while knowing you're lying to her just for the sake of a Hallmark holiday? I've always been of the opinion that Valentine's Day is amateur night anyway -- if you're happy in a relationship, you don't need a holiday to prompt you to do nice things for the person you love.

    If you truly only realized that you weren't into her (and I suspect by your post it's been over for awhile...only you couldn't admit it to yourself)...then telling her was a good thing. The fact that your realization happened on a holiday was probably not the best timing. She'll get over it though. Besides, you're not even sad...and frankly, she deserves someone who will reciprocate feelings. You've done her a favor.

    If it were me, I wouldn't want someone to pretend to be happy with me on Valentine's Day.
     
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  5. nfernandez345

    nfernandez345 Active Member

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    Just calling it how I see it, but that's a real a-hole move. You seriously couldn't do this either before or after the holiday? :?
     
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  6. MizzLadyPants

    MizzLadyPants Well-Known Member

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    I once broke up with my bf the day before valentines day. Honestly. Its a stupid Hallmark holiday anyways. Fuck it. Your happiness and real honesty that's more important.
     
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