I am sure she doesn't like me "like that"

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by alexandra7, Jun 12, 2014.

  1. alexandra7

    alexandra7 New Member

    Jun 12, 2014
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    Hello everyone, I apologize if my post is too long. This is my first online post ever.

    I am well into my late 20's and crushing on a straight woman wasn't really on my plans, although I am sure it isn't something anyone ever plans for.
    My story began about two years ago, and just like most stories in here it involves a girl, we can call this gorgous woman Nicole.
    I saw Nicole in the gym. I wasn't even looking at anyone during my exercise, it's not a habit of mine, but I noticed her. She was so beautiful, it look my breath away and I had to stop to stare. What really caught my attention was her walk, it was straight and powerful. It also didn't help that she is tall, blond, and athletic. I noticed she was a yoga instructor and although I had never taken yoga before I stated taking her class continuously. My plan was to get to know her and see if it would lead to anything.
    I am new at dating girls, up to that point I had dated only men (had gotten engaged twice) because I hoped the desire I felt towards women was only temporary and it would fade away; however it didn't, and now I am old enough to know what I want and I am not shy to go after someone I like, and it's not often that I like someone. With that in mind I started taking her class twice a week. At first she didn't notice me but few weeks into it she started saying hello and smiled really big when ever she saw me. She isn't the chatty or smiley type. I noticed it is not a habit of hers to start a conversation with strangers around her. I developed a strong crush towards Nicole and fantasized about her all the time. We started having brief conversations occasionally but it wasn't about anything serious and i wouldn't call her a friend yet.

    About three months later she came to exercise with some guy and I heard from their conversations that they were dating. Later I found out that the guy was her high school sweetheart and they have been dating for nine years. I was sad but I am realistic and don't want to live on fantasies and suffer through unrequited like/love. Not to mention it is unethical and immoral to think romantically of someone who is not single. So I started avoiding her, not returning her smiles and just stayed away; however, I didn't stop taking her yoga class because I realized I liked yoga. I did the routine in the far back of her class and left without making eye contact, actually I stopped making eye contact with her altogether. During the class she would walk towards the back of the studio and would try to assist me with the routine. The closeness and physical contact, however small, bothered me. I decided to stop going to the gym for few months. I went back only when I thought my feelings had dissolved.

    Now I still take her yoga class regularly, among other classes, I still avoid her, but without being too rude. When I am on cardio machines I usually read and so pretty much I avoid everyone. Recently I noticed she is deliberately being rude towards me. For example, when she is on a stationery bike and I decide to exercise besides her (mainly because most of other machines are taken and I have no choice) she stops and moves away to a different machine. It happened more than once and because she was rude I stopped going to her class. When ever I skipped her class she would do the opposite, she would some to take the bike next to mine, and she would smile. There are other examples of strange behaviors but I don't want to list them all. I am being consistent with how I am towards her. I exercise and I leave. Also, we always tend to run into each other: In the locker room, in the gym, in the ladies room, and even outside; we always bump into each other by accident

    My question, do you girls think Nicole realized I like her and it is making her uncomfortable ? If so, should i stop taking her class ? I really don't want to pursue a straight girl, or develop any false hope. I rather try my luck with Bi-lesbian woman.
    Furthermore, I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, especially her. Can it be that this is all in my head and I am reading too much into her rude behavior?

  2. Kaiden

    Kaiden Well-Known Member

    May 30, 2014
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    You read too much into her behavior. She may look rude, but she observed that you are avoiding her and maybe she tries to do you a favor by leaving you alone there. I wouldn't say she's really rude, because it is you that couldn't handle yourself and you decided to stop smiling at her whenever she would smile. A smile never hurts. What is happening inside of you, stays inside of you, don't take it out on her in no form when you know she's straight and you can't go further. Also, why would matter what she thinks when your little mind journey will not become real? try to know other women, don't make your universe revolve around one woman. Especially a straight woman.
    You can take yoga classes in another gym I guess :D Although if I were you, I'd summon back my good manners and mind my own business. Smile, keep walking, exercise, sweat, go home.

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