I am not ready for this

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by Supposedly interesting, Apr 25, 2015.

  1. Supposedly interesting

    Apr 15, 2015
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    I have been in a relationship for the last five years, and I became single recently, so I am not good at seeing if people flirt with me or not. I really need your thoughts on this, because if this particular girl is flirting with me, I need to tell her to back off, because I am not ready for anything right now.

    I met this girl approximately 3 months ago, when I started in a new class in school. We see each other once a week in school, but other than that, we never meet.

    This girl is not a lesbian. She does, however, know that I am out and proud.
    She keeps dropping hints, saying:
    "I think the female body is sexy"
    "I like boobs better than ass"
    "I don't think I fall in love with the gender, but the personality." etc.

    Two weeks ago I noticed that she liked a picture on Facebook.
    The picture was posted by a group called "Lesbian notes" and the picture said:
    "I wish I had the courage to try wether or not I am a lesbian"

    When we speak (which we do occasionally, because we are in the same study group) she looks very intensely in my eyes and keep the eye contact. She always chooses the chair next to me, compliments me, asks me for advice etc.
    She always informs me if she's late for class and stuff like that.

    Lately, after my girlfriend and I broke up, she has been very touchy. During a group project she was cold, and asked if she could warm her hands under my shirt. She stuck her hand under my shirt by my neck and started massaging me.
    After some group work we went out to have a beer (Her, me and to others) During this time, I put my feet up on her legs, and she started touching/caressing my ankle and again massaging my feet under the table.
    When we parted she hugged me, and later I received a message on Facebook, where she said: "I think you a very sweet".
    I have to move on thursday and she offered to help me, knowing that she would have to cancel other plans in her life. However, I wouldn't consider us THAT close.

    What are you thoughts?
    Is she jut being nice, or is she flirting?

    I am not at all ready for this, and I need to tell her, if she IS flirting.
  2. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

    Jul 4, 2013
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    Yes, she is flirting.
    Yes, she is bicurious.
    Yes, you aren't ready to start dating (I'm going with what you say and if you feel like you aren't ready, then you aren't ready).
    Yes, bicurious girls can be a mess to date / sleep with because of the freak out game playing aspect.

    If it was me I would casually mention 'I just got out of a ltr and am not up for dating, one nighters, etc...' I wouldn't put her on the spot and make it specifically about her, I'd just put it out there and let her connect the dots.
    rac, Spygirl, Emm and 1 other person like this.
  3. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

    Jul 4, 2013
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    She likes you and dropping hints to see where it will lead. She may not be super concious about it and may run away if you make a move. So...you can just drop hints like you are not ready for another relationship, in fact make a lot of noise. I don't think you need to confront her about it. Don't accept things like massages and her helping you move if you don't want to lead her on. Be polite and say things like you don't really need a massage right now or you have people help you move big heavy things and you don't want her injured. Sorry about your break up and hope you can enjoy her friendship. Sometimes some people just click you know, platonic or not and they feel like family.

    [email protected], just saw your post after i had finished mine. :)
    Nancy, rac and Bluenote like this.
  4. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

    Jul 2, 2013
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    If you're not ready, you're not ready period. There's no rule about how long it takes for one to get over a relationship. Seems to me that if you even remotely liked her, this wouldn't be a post. However, I think you can put an end to this without hurting her feelings or making the situation seem awkward.

    As @greylin and @Bluenote said: generally put it out there that you're not ready for a relationship -- or being involved at all -- because you're just getting out of one. It doesn't have to be directed at her, personally.
    rac and Bluenote like this.
  5. jellohead

    jellohead Well-Known Member

    Mar 6, 2015
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    Hands under your shirt.... Hello!
  6. mellybabe

    mellybabe New Member

    Apr 27, 2015
    Likes Received:
    She is definitely flirting with you!

    Life will throw you obstacles and you just have to roll with it. But I'm my experience, these obstacles usually have a purpose. I try to embrace everything that comes to me with an open mind. People come into your life for a reason. Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it's good but these situations are usually lessons you can learn from! Which in the end are good.

    If you feel you need to tell her you aren't ready, then there will be a time and place when you know it's right to tell her this - it will happen sooner or later. But the other side of me thinks you may get a really good experience out if this! I know you say you're not ready, but I think you should test the waters with your friend.

    Good luck
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2015

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