How to seduce my roomate?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by danielle024, Aug 12, 2016.

  1. danielle024

    danielle024 New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2016
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    For past 6 months I've been living in a share house with 3 other people. 3 friends: a couple (mf) and a single girl, Linda. Linda and myself share the same bedroom, complete with ensuite but separate beds. were both 24

    Initially I wasn't attracted to Linda but my feelings have grown and I'm very into her now. I'd like to start a discreet casual relationship with her. I'm secretly bicurious (never ben with a woman before) and she's straight (but I have no reason to think she wouldn't play in the right circumstances/& she's never explicitly stated she's Not into women)
    we have a close, platonic relationship, as is.

    Any suggestions how I can gradually seduce her and become lovers?
     
    #1
  2. Lauren_1989

    Lauren_1989 Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2015
    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    52
    Well, firstly of consider the impact that this illicit relationship would have on your living situation if it wasn't to work out, or she wasn't interested. Especially if you don't even have separate bedrooms.

    Secondly, I guess you can only bring the subject of your curiosity up with her and gauge her reaction to it but again, be aware that you might make your living situation uncomfortable. There really isn't any other way to get the ball rolling without outright asking her if she's up for it, so tread lightly with a few probing questions and go from there.
     
    #2
    greylin likes this.
  3. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2013
    Messages:
    1,390
    Likes Received:
    1,489
    I think trying to seduce your straight roommate is somewhere between tacky and creepy. If a straight guy were saying the same thing about a lesbian 'how do I seduce her, she probably will bone me if I play it right,' we would all be grossed out.

    Leave the poor girl alone.
     
    #3
  4. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2013
    Messages:
    743
    Likes Received:
    1,058
    No....No....No....

    and: NO!

    As Forrest Gump said: Stupid is as stupid does.
     
    #4
  5. lorienczhiu

    lorienczhiu Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2013
    Messages:
    638
    Likes Received:
    596
    Yeah, don't do that.

    You see "close platonic relationship" as "an opening to get it on;" she probably sees it as "friend I can trust and comfortable living situation." You acting on your understanding is going to shatter hers, and crosses all kinds of boundaries. Even if you hookup, your friendship will probably be toast.

    Also, "have no reason to think she wouldn't play in the right circumstances" and "gradually seduce her" makes me feel like I need to take a shower (said this lifelong bisexual who is super pro consensual play between adults). If you are interested, don't be a calculating creeper. Put your cards honestly and respectfully on the table and let her decide if she's interested.
     
    #5
  6. rainydaze

    rainydaze Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2015
    Messages:
    93
    Likes Received:
    188
    Fair warning here: I am about to rant for a bit, so if you don't want to "hear" it, just skip this post.:mad:

    Please don't. Just don't. Here are my points.
    1) It is one thing to have a crush. A fantasy is just that - something fun to think about at times when you are bored, lonely, in between loves...you know, just a nice distraction from real life. Reality is something totally different!

    Let me explain...in your fantasy you hit on this roommate after gawking at her in your bedroom for the past several months, she responds all lust/passion, as you hoped. You have a roll around the bedroom. It is great. Casual like you wanted. Nothing changes about your living situation; you remain friends by day and lovers by night; no harm done. right? I won't say it is impossible, but nothing you state in your post indicates that this scenario is probable.

    Reality is more like: you try to seduce her. she is horrified that you have just violated the safety of her living space. She realizes she has been living with a creeper for months. She can't sleep at night, or shower, or change without being freaked out. She wants you to move out or she insists on breaking the lease and moving out. Friendship is over because it feels like it was a big lie just to get in her pants. The couple you are living with is also freaked out when she tells them what you did and they are angry that they now have to look for a new roommate (because she leaves or you are asked to leave). You lose a living situation that seems to be working for you right now. And you could very likely be stuck with a huge bill for the rent that you owe until the end of the lease...which they could potentially sue you for - do you want the reason to be on public record in the courts?

    OK, That may be worst case scenario, but you need to consider it before you decide to cross that line. Sometimes fantasies are WAY better than realities. I say keep this one to yourself and only masturbate when she is NOT in the room with you, please. Also, go out and meet other people for goodness sake! Get over it!

    2) Ok, that part of the rant is over. Point 1 was for your own benefit (and the sake of the roommate). This point is for the rest of us. I don't care if you are bicurious, bisexual, lesbian, gay, queer, etc, please understand that to the "straight"/"heterosexual" majority (especially those who don't think they know many gay people or who are not very open minded) your actions can often represent ALL of us as a group - fortunately or unfortunately. Please do not behavior like a predator who is out to "seduce" straight women. Come on. Surely, you are capable of controlling impulses and respecting boundaries, especially in the close quarters of a living situation. Have some respect for a this straight woman who is comfortable living with a bicurious person and is not quick to view her as a scary potential risk. Choose not to be the cliche who just can't maintain a healthy happy platonic friendship. Many of us are capable of that, but when others behave inappropriately, we all pay.
    If you honestly feel like you want/need/love this particular woman (and it is not just because she is sleeping a sock's throw away from you in your bedroom), make a mature decision to move out (without causing all of them financial woes), give her living space, and then, ask her out for real. If it ends up being nothing, one night stand, friends with benefits, a real romance, whatever, at least it isn't affecting the whole living situation. Win for you and for all of us...One less crazy (non-representative/generally untrue) nightmare story about a how a gay woman preys on a poor straight girl!

    I think you probably get my point if you have read this far. Obviously, I'm not in support of your personal goal. For that, as a person who generally believes in one's right to self-determination - as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else - I can apologize (half-heartedly), I guess.
    You will do what you want anyway. I think the part that set me off on my rant was that this was not a question of support/advice on your decision making (if it's a good idea or not?...the struggle of impulse vs. rationality)....but was a question of "How to?" as if all of us here would be like "Oh yeah, this is what to do to bed your unsuspecting roommate...try this...It always works for me" :eek: Nooooo, That just feels Yuck to me....
     
    #6
  7. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2013
    Messages:
    1,390
    Likes Received:
    1,489
    How did it take 7 years of me being on AE to hear the advice 'only masturbate when she is not around?'
     
    #7
  8. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2013
    Messages:
    2,149
    Likes Received:
    963
    ROFL for me + gf. To the OP, if you are taking ppl's advice and discovery is a problem, posting your pic and maybe rl first name won't help.
     
    #8
    rainydaze and Bluenote like this.
  9. rainydaze

    rainydaze Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2015
    Messages:
    93
    Likes Received:
    188
    @Bluenote - lol!!! Did I go too far on that one? ;)

    True story: back in my college days i had a suitemate (they lived on other side of a connecting bathroom in the dorms) who complained non-stop about her roommate who masturbated every single night (moans and all) while her roommate was present and most of the time still awake!

    So, yeah...I stand by that recommendation! :eek:
    Hahahahahaha!!!
     
    #9
    greylin likes this.
  10. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2013
    Messages:
    1,390
    Likes Received:
    1,489
    You know how you buy a new microwave and it has weird warnings about 'don't use to dry your socks, don't use to fire pottery.' And you wonder- wtf, what numb nuts actually tried to use this microwave as a kiln?

    This warning is similar. I mean, I wouldn't even think to caution 'hey, masturbating in front of roomies is creepy.' But clearly, you should be in charge of AE warnings and product disclaimers.
     
    #10
    rainydaze and greylin like this.
  11. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2013
    Messages:
    743
    Likes Received:
    1,058
    What do you mean you can't dry socks in a microwave????!!!!!!!! :/
     
    #11
    greylin likes this.
  12. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2013
    Messages:
    1,390
    Likes Received:
    1,489
    You don't want the skittles vodka to smell of feet...
     
    #12
    greylin likes this.
  13. Eloise

    Eloise Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2013
    Messages:
    170
    Likes Received:
    168
    Why is it that bi women think straight women will probably go bi for them? Or, that lesbians will go bi so they can have a threesome with the bis boyfriend? Stop thinking everyone is like you and will get it on with both men and women. Nope. No. OH HELL NO!
     
    #13
    Bluenote and Spygirl like this.
  14. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2013
    Messages:
    1,390
    Likes Received:
    1,489
    I agree, though I would say "why is it some bi women..." Not all bi women are creepers.
     
    #14
    rainydaze, greylin and lorienczhiu like this.
  15. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2013
    Messages:
    2,149
    Likes Received:
    963
    Been chuckling all weekend over this! mwahahahha
     
    #15
    Spygirl likes this.
  16. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2013
    Messages:
    2,149
    Likes Received:
    963
    Skittles vodka?
     
    #16
  17. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2013
    Messages:
    1,390
    Likes Received:
    1,489
    little inside joke.
     
    #17
    greylin likes this.
  18. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2013
    Messages:
    743
    Likes Received:
    1,058
    I hear it's magical...though I've yet to hone my distillery skills (or is it laziness on my part?). @Nancy once gave me a tutorial though.
     
    #18
    greylin and Bluenote like this.
  19. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2013
    Messages:
    1,504
    Likes Received:
    618
    Very true, although I'm old fashioned I never used the fancy dishwasher/ microwave speedy methods. I prefer the old fashioned just give it a couple of weeks method. Remember kids if you mix all the colours you're just going to get brown vodka.
     
    #19
    greylin and Spygirl like this.
  20. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2013
    Messages:
    1,504
    Likes Received:
    618
    Oh yeah, on the straight roommate thing...

    No no no no no no no no no no no no no.


    In case that's unclear, it's not a good idea unless you want to be homeless.
     
    #20
    Crescida, greylin, rainydaze and 2 others like this.

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice