How to move on?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by fsugatorgurl, Aug 12, 2018.

  1. fsugatorgurl

    fsugatorgurl New Member

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    I did a bad thing. I did a wrong thing. I fell in love with a woman who is married.

    I cant post too much detail. I just need advice om how to move on from something that is not an option.
     
    #1
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2018
  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    Feeling something for someone doesn't mean you have done anything wrong. But, it is ok, I know you can't post too many details here so I am not sure how bad things are or not.

    I am not someone who can always control my impulses so I feel your pain of wanting to move on from being tempted. There are some strategies and all of them require work and they are not fun when you are tempted to doing something that would sound sooo very good for that very moment but will have to trade it for the work to not want to do that wishing you are itching to do.

    You see, the work itself does not sound fun but I can tell you that being able to have little triumphs over something is ultimately quite fun. It is like injecting some magical serum directly into spiritual muscles and before you know it, it makes you this happier person. When you think of her, and pining for her, practice thinking of something else. Each time you can do that, pat yourself on the back. Or picture someone on AE patting you on the back. The something else you think about can be something that is as good as saving the planet or as silly as the color of a hat you would like to wear on a fine summer day.

    There is also another thing. A lot of bad choices adhere to people to are afraid. If you are afraid that she's the one and that's it, don't be. Try chasing down why you would trade the chance of being with someone who is free and clear instead of being mired in this muck of wishes. You can spend a lot of energy meeting new people. Meeting people can be difficult so it is easy to want to rest your heart in someone marvelous and unavailable. Please don't despair, and put your good energy towards finding her.
     
    #2
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2018
  3. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member

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    The striped back to basics answer is TIME and SPACE. Obviously this is always easier said than done. Take each moment as it comes give yourself time and space to heal. If you see her regularly find ways and means that you can avoid being in close quarters with her alone. Break all other contact too, if you're talking to each other (in person or texts etc) it's going to be harder to get over her if you're seeing and spending time with her.
     
    #3
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