How to get over a serious crush. Please help!

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by smiles4miles, Oct 4, 2013.

  1. smiles4miles

    smiles4miles Active Member

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    I really need some help. I've basically been in love with my best friend since 8th grade and I NEED to get over her. I know we can never be together because she's straight (at least she says she is) and we have such a wonderful, amazing friendship and I would never want to lose that.

    But it's so hard not to have feelings for her! I find myself getting insanely jealous when she pays more attention to other friends, especially friends who are lesbians or bisexuals. How can I not feel this way? How can I still feel secure about our friendship and not get so jealous/angry/upset when she fawns over and spends time with other girls?

    Plus, how do I get over her in general? It's so painful to have romantic feelings for her and know that I can't ever tell her about them or act on them. I desperately want to only think of her as a friend and worry that I'll never be able to get to that place.

    Please if anyone out there has any advice for a closeted bisexual who is painfully in love, I'd really appreciate it.
     
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  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    Re: How to get over a serious crush. Please h...

    Jealousy is so soul crushing, isn't it?

    The best way to get over a crush is to have a real, reciprocal romance. I don't think she will be that one. But I think she is more the prototype of what you are looking for. As you probably won't come up with a romance right away, I hope you find the zen from the experiences of others and can gauge that this is not going anywhere. If it were, it would have run really really hot for her too and you would know it. If you haven't already, I would come out to her and have her support your orientation as a friend.

    There is another way to give yourself a mental break. It is by giving yourself the option to tell her. Time it to something like when you are finishing the last semester of high school (if you are in high school), then let her know your feelings. This way, you know you can do it without upending your entire social life. A girl needs her besties in this trying time of going into adulthood. Perhaps thinking of this option will calm you heart.
     
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