How to feel better about myself?

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by Diana, Oct 18, 2013.

  1. Diana

    Diana Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2013
    Messages:
    93
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi! I'll give you some information about myself. I'm almost 21 years old. I live in a flat with 3 friends. I'm a good student, I have a lot of carring friends and I feel like my life is pretty great at the moment.

    I had 2 serious relationships. I'm still friends with both of my exes and we see each other as often as we can. I'm very grateful that they are still in my life. I love them both and it makes me happy to still be around them even after our relationships ended.

    After my second relationship ended, I had a few crushes here and there, but nothing serious. After a while, I met a girl and I liked her. She liked me back. She told me that her ex was beating her and cheating on her and I was ready to treat her like she deserves and make her forget about her ex gf. She asked me to be her gf and when I was ready to say yes, she told me she went back to her abussive gf. I felt heartbroken and I felt like I was the foolest person alive.

    I moved on and hanged out with my friends and soon, I felt better. After a while, I met this other girl. We hanged out and she kissed me and I felt like my heart had another chance to beat again. I was really into her and she was really into me. She was sweet and carring and when I slept over, she always made sure I was warm and covered and she never stopped holding me during the night. But, she told me she doesn't want a relationship. I respected that and we went to a party in the same night. Suddenly, she disappeared with a girl, leaving me there alone. After a few days, they started dating and they are now gfs.

    This last event happened a few days ago. I'm pretty hurt and sad and I feel like maybe it's my fault that these girls hurt me. I feel like, even though I was nothing but nice to them, something in my behaviour might have drawn them away. I know I have low self esteem. People tell me that I'm hot and smart and funny and all that, but I don't see myself to be like the person they are describing.

    Now, I met this girl and we went out once. I wouldn't call it a date, but I think she saw it this way. She is hot and smart and really lovely. She was a bit awkward when we went out and I asked her why she acted like this. She replied "becase I FUCKING LIKED YOU!". I was really surprised that this girl would feel so nervous around me. I feel like sooner or later, she will back off too, so I'm not even that excited that she likes me that much.

    Problem is, I don't know how to feel better about myself. Everytime a nice girl likes me, I mentally start to make a list of reasons of why I wouldn't be right for her. I never seem to start making a list of why we would work out.

    I really want to feel confident. I don't want to become a cocky person, but I do want to wake up one day and be like "GOD, I'M AWESOME!". Well, not really like that, but you get my point.

    So, I want you guys to help me. If you know any tips that will help getting more confident, I will really appreciate it if you will share them with me.
     
    #1
  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2013
    Messages:
    2,149
    Likes Received:
    963
    God, you are awesome! You are caring and kind and you want to be the best partner you can be in a relationship. You will even be much more awesome"r" if you would just give yourself a break and add some credit under your ledger besides.

    I hope you don't judge yourself by how relationships turn out, that is like judging you by how much money you have. Sometimes it is from bad choices that a relationship go south or we lose our money, but a lot of it is just luck. I have met men who have been cheating on their wives all their lives and have kept all the women (including mistresses) with them and procreated. So, they must have been really good guys, or lying cheating scoundrels who somehow got their way?

    If you want clean honest relationships, you can just be yourself and find partners and friends who want the same thing. And don't settle for people who go back to their abusive gfs. They are not right in the head and you can just be a friend to them.

    *hugs*
     
    #2

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice