How to come out to best friend

Discussion in 'Coming Out' started by kaymar16, Sep 18, 2013.

  1. kaymar16

    kaymar16 Member

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    Over the past year or so, I have seriously been questioning my sexuality, and have become pretty confident in the fact that I am gay, or at least bisexual. I don't really have a problem with being gay, but I am more concerned about not being sure, as I've never had a relationship with anyone, guy or girl. I have recently been really wanting tot talk to my best friend about it, because I feel like I really need to talk it through with someone and I am growing tired of pretending to be interested in guys. I feel like I really need to come out to someone, but am afraid to because again I just feel like I can't be sure about my feelings until I've had some sort of experience. I have no doubt that my friend will be fine with it, but I also have the problem of how to tell her. We go to different colleges, so I won't be able to see her face to face for a while and I'm getting to the point where I don't think I can wait that long anymore. We are both busy and I don't have much time to skype or call without my roommate being around. I would be most comfortable coming out over text I think at least for now, and it would be the easiest way logistically, but I feel like it's kind of a cop-out. I guess I'm just looking for advice on how to handle this situation, and anything anyone has to offer would be much appreciated!
     
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  2. lilay

    lilay Member

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    Ello, I know this is 2 days late and idk if you've already told your best friend but I just felt like I should reply cause I literally am in the same boat as you. I never had a relationship with a guy or girl but kind of always knew I'm bi. I told my best friend yesterday just about everything I felt and it helped out so much. So, I would just say to talk to her about it because that is what a best friend is for. She cares and wants to help you figure yourself out as much as you do (if that makes sense). lawls anyways also, i talked to mine through text about it and eventhough it does kind of feel like a cop out that's just the way i'm comfortable with talking about it. I think since it's out there, it'll make it less awkward for me now to talk about it in person with her if we do. I guess it's all up to you but I would defiantly tell you to go for it and talk to her, in a way your most comfortable so whether that be texting or more directly. I'm hope maybe i helped, I know I'm not the best at giving advice but I felt like maybe talking about how I just went through a similar experience would help. Hope everything works out :)
     
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  3. Fiona

    Fiona Member

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    I can totally relate to what you're going through. I was questioning my sexuality for the last seven years or so. I was just never sure because i just don't have much experience. I started telling people that I am just "open". I mean I never really thought of myself as bisexual but still how can anyone be really sure without having some sort of experience. Last year I started labelling myself as gay because I started to realize or let's say that stared to admit to myself that I can't imagine beeing with a guy. And sometimes I am still questioning my realization because i think maybe i am talking myself into it. But then again if anyone can really choose their orientation(which I think is not possible), who would choose to be gay? Do you know what I'm saying?

    So as I said, i just never wanted to label myself because of the my lack of experience but somehow deep inside you know what you prefer,right? I told my best friend that I am in that questioning process, but I always added that I am likely to be gay, because I never really had interest in guys anyway.

    I hope I could help you a little. I know this all can be quite confusing and I hope I didn't confuse you even more.
     
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