How To Approach Her?

Discussion in 'Advice on Meeting Women' started by WhiteCanary, May 24, 2016.

  1. WhiteCanary

    WhiteCanary New Member

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    Hey all. I'd really appreciate your input and tips as to how to approach a girl without making her feel too uncomfortable (if that's possible?)

    So my situation right now is: There's this girl who works in the same floor and shift as i do, she's a headturner but hasn't really caught my attention til now. For the past few weeks before i realized i was already developing a little crush on her, we've crossed paths a number of times but we never really acknowledged or looked at each other and it always seemed like "oh i know and see you cuz we work in the same floor and place". Though the most awesome thing i found out is that we live really near each other (like my place is right across hers), which was on one afternoon when i decided to take a little walk and then i suddenly came across her while she was walking home and i was like "holy moly, she lives in this particular area too!?" Sooo yeah..

    I really want to approach her and hopefully get to know her or at least say hi and show her that i exist. We're not working in the same team so my colleagues can't help me in that aspect, as they don't have close friends from my crush's team. Bummer lol.

    So i feel that this is all up to me to try and make a move. I'm planning to just make eye contact and smile at her first if we cross paths again (which doesn't happen often, starting this week) and that i think i need some really good timing for that to happen. It's kind of hard to approach a not-so-stranger, considering the fact that she's pretty new to the office and that we don't have mutual friends.

    I wonder what else i can or should do? Any opinions and suggestions are welcome. I'm not expecting anything and this is certainly not about wondering if she's lesbian or bi or if she'd be interested in me too but, i just tend to really want to know a person more if i have a crush on them. And i wouldn't forgive myself if i didn't at least try to reach out and make friends with her.

    Thanks so much in advance!
     
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  2. WhiteCanary

    WhiteCanary New Member

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    Update: i crossed so many paths with her today but wasn't able to make eye contact or say hi cuz she seemed like she was busy and pre-occupied with work. It would probably be better to say hi at the office cafeteria or something. And i also sort of followed her home earlier. But i took a different way so it wouldn't be obvious that i was trailing right behind her. When i entered the lobby of the condo building where i'm currently staying, i saw her at the front desk and i was so surprised. Not sure if she's a resident as well or probably just visiting someone but damn, that was the highlight of my day. Hopefully next week i'll be able to at least strike up a little conversation with her and i could bring up that i've been seeing her in the office and where i/we live but never got to meet each other properly
     
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  3. mysterious girl

    mysterious girl Active Member

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    haha stalker! kidding, just start a conversation. act all cool...cause i know first time conversations can end up being a disaster from over thinking. just relax and say hi. shouldn't do any harm. the worse that can happen is what- she'll say hi back?! then take it from there. it is surprising sometimes what can build up from just a greeting ;)
     
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  4. Alexa345

    Alexa345 Member

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    Dropping a wad of cash on the table always gets my attention. j/k

    I find just saying hi and getting to know one another is a good start. You say that you live in the same area as her so maybe you could ask her if she wanted to drive to work together and go from there.
     
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  5. mysterious girl

    mysterious girl Active Member

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    Not if you take the cash and walk away :)
     
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  6. Plane Jane

    Plane Jane Active Member

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    To make her particularly uncomfortable, I rush up to her, blurt something that makes sense in and is in context in my head but that she has no context to understand, and then run away. Recently I said, "Did you know Mt. Everest is covered with poop and corpses!?" to someone because she's going somewhere cold and the cold / snow / mountains where she's going are obviously DIRECTLY related to poop and corpses on Mt. Everest--a cold, snowy, mountain. See? Easy! Oh, you said you didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable.... Never mind then. Can't help you.

    But seriously, you can't do worse than I do, so:

    I think like you said, try to make eye contact and smile, but even better, if you see her in the cafeteria go up to her and say, "Hey, we work on the same floor--I keep seeing you around--how do you like your job/area/department?" Then you have an opening to maybe sit with her while you eat and keep her talking by asking questions about her job, what her team does, where she went to school, whether she likes long walks on the beach (no, don't ask that), etc.

    Just think of her like she's any old other person you'd see around and talk to, not someone special that you'd particularly like to get to know. As soon as I think someone's special, or interesting, or give a crap what they think of me, my brain turns into oatmeal and I can't string two sentences together coherently.

    That seems like a perfect opportunity to say, "Hey, you work on my floor at _____! Do you live here, too?" Or something and start up a conversation that way.
     
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  7. TheScandinavian

    TheScandinavian Well-Known Member

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    Usually I wouldn't recommend dating a co-worker. It is typically not the best idea. However, just go up to her and say "Hi" and ask her how she's doing and ask her out. It's that simple-whether she'd accept or not, that's another story. I would also casually approach her by being surprised by seeing her at the place I am currently staying.

    Also, very important ARE YOU SURE SHE'S AT LEAST BI? Also, IS SHE SINGLE? You can't know for sure and you didn't mention but you may have some suspicions :)
     
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  8. Plane Jane

    Plane Jane Active Member

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    I don't think that's as much of an issue where they work in different areas.
     
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  9. TheScandinavian

    TheScandinavian Well-Known Member

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    Which is why I said "usually" :)
     
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