Hopee

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by NiceGuy101, Dec 15, 2014.

  1. NiceGuy101

    NiceGuy101 New Member

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    Myyyybb
     
    #1
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2014
  2. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Don't be a total sleezeball and 1)cheat on your gf with a girl who is 2)involved with someone and 3) your coworker.

    Seriously. My advice is keep it in your pants. (and yes, I would say the same to a girl).

    If you don't like your gf that much, break up with her properly, so she can find someone who actually likes her and respects her.

    If she cheats with you, she will cheat on you. Watch out what you wish for, you're gonna wind up like Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott. Cheating, making each other miserable and marinating in drama. And deserving every minute of it.
     
    #2
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2014
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  3. Emm

    Emm Well-Known Member

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    'Neither of them would bring home as much money as we do' ...'we'd make such a power couple'...add in the concern you already have that you/she would cheat again...there's three giant waving red flags right there
     
    #3
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  4. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Well, at least he edited his OPost to look like a little less of a hound.

    Whatevs. I bet he goes there anyhow and gets burned. Just by the amount of trying to justify all this added into the edited OPost.
     
    #4
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  5. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    And no, you're not ready to marry anyone if you love your gf, but are trying to figure out how to move on in with your 1) coworker 2) who is involved with someone.

    See again about Tori Spelling.
     
    #5
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  6. NiceGuy101

    NiceGuy101 New Member

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    Geesh u folks are harsh but thanks for the advice no ones perfect, tempation is amongst us all and lusting is something we all have done before. I havent acted on making any moves and we cant control who we like/love but it is what it is. Thank
     
    #6
  7. Coffee Addict

    Coffee Addict Well-Known Member

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    Yes, it is what it is. Precisely because of that, and considering that you are acknowledging feelings for someone who is not your gf, you should think about your motivation for continuing a relationship you are not completely committed to.

    It doesn't look like you see yourself further in the future with your currently gf and your feeling for your coworker look like a symptom more than a cause.

    On the other hand, getting involve with a coworker can be tricky and complicated. From affecting the work dynamics to possible harassment.

    Last, but not least, regarding getting involved with her, you need at least two to form a relationship. For what I can tell from your story, I don't see her interested. I think she was polite in deflecting your feelings but still nothing suggests that she is on the same page with you.

    Try to get your things in order and figure what do you want to do with your current relationship first. Just saying.

    Good luck.
     
    #7
  8. Emm

    Emm Well-Known Member

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    there are just so many things wrong here I don't even know where to begin....

    First of all there is a HUGE difference between lusting after someone and actually intentionally considering packing up and leaving someone else for them, weighing up destroying two relationships in the process and considering how things would work out

    And second of all...YES, YES you have acted on it...maybe you didn't bang her yet, but see these bits here

    * I was not only physically attracted to her by her demanor about life and career also is what got my attention...
    * I told her I know it's awkward and you and I are in a relationship but I couldnt hold it in much longer
    * with an apology about me showcasing my feeling for her

    that's you acting on it.

    The only part you got right was that nobody is perfect, and we can't choose who we love but that doesn't validate stringing along the GF you have waiting at home
     
    #8
  9. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    So wait, are you lusting? Or are you totally ready to dump your gf, marry your coworker and be a power couple together?

    Seriously, if you can't tell the difference between wanting to marry your coworker and a little lusting after her, you shouldn't be dating anyone until you get some things sorted.
     
    #9
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  10. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member

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    I'm a little confused so I have questions.

    Why would a straight man (your profile says you are male and 27) with a girlfriend come and look for advice about attracting a straight female co worker on a website forum such as AE?

    So either you're someone trolling about trying to get reactions or you've got lost.
     
    #10
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2014
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  11. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    I'm so lost -- if you're a guy, why are you on a lesbian website? Eff it...troll or not, you need a bit of a reality check:

    1. Don't cheat. I don't need to say what other people have said except...don't do it. Your present girlfriend deserves better -- so show her some respect and break it off if you're having feelings for someone else.

    2. Get over the idea of money and being a "power couple"...you're so caught up in career and material things that you're willing to let life, and a good g/f whom you profess to love, pass you by for the "image" you're trying to achieve. Well..coming from someone who once had that job -- that image -- I can tell you that it's not it's all that it's cracked up to be. See, 10 years ago I used to be you...wanted to have the salary, the power job, an "equal" in terms of profession to be my partner....and for awhile I had it...big firm job, big firm salary, PhD for a girlfriend...and you know what, all of it sucked!

    Then I realized...I wasn't truly living if I was caught up in some image I was supposed to be. In fact, living for anything other than happiness makes you miserable. I ditched the big firm job, salary, crappy girlfriend and found a life so much more fulfilling. You won't believe me until you find yourself as unfulfilled as I was.

    3. Don't date a coworker -- wrong move. Never get involved with a coworker because when it ends badly -- it affects your job and can impact you negatively.

    4. Your coworker hasn't acknowledged or reciprocated....that's huge.

    Stop living in fantasy land.
     
    #11
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2014
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