High School Crush... What do I do!?

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by erin2, Apr 13, 2014.

  1. erin2

    erin2 Member

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    Alright so I'm 17, a junior in high school and only out to a hand full of people at the moment. I have art class with this girl and was in art with her last year as well. We've bonded and are super comfortable with each other, but we only really ever talk in that class and don't have each other's numbers or anything.
    Well anyways, I really, really like her but I have no clue what her sexuality is! She sometimes talks about her celebrity crushes or whatever and they're always guys, but then she'll compliment me endlessly and tell me that I look beautiful no matter what and she'll always do nice little things for me like get a paintbrush for me, put my artwork on the drying rack, etc. And whenever the teacher is doing a demonstration, she'll stand super close to me so that our thighs touch or her elbow is against mine when there's plenty of room.
    She's never had a boyfriend and doesn't mind if I take her small little touches a step further by blatantly touching her cheek or hand, etc (of course I don't take it too far and act like a total creeper).
    So could she maybe like me? Or is she just super friendly? And would it be a good idea if I told her I was gay, or risky because she might get creeped out and regret how touchy-feely she gets with me and maybe tell her friends? Please help, I am so inexperienced yet completely smitten with this girl!
     
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  2. Justposting

    Justposting Well-Known Member

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    From what you've posted she could just be a nice person who likes you as a friend or she could be figuring this all out for herself and actually be into you. Its hard to tell from just a few things here or there. Maybe bringing up someone or something gay would help you gauge whether she would freak out about your being gay. If she isn't likely to run around telling people you aren't ready to tell, then I say out yourself. She may not profess her love, but she may be more open to the idea than you think. You can't know if you keep yourself wrapped up.

    I do however, think you should only out yourself if your are safe in doing so. Good luck!
     
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  3. erin2

    erin2 Member

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    Thank you so much for your advice! I ended up bringing up a discussion that was had in my English class and how one guy ended up making some bigoted comment that was upsetting to me to sort of like, 'plant the seed' and test the waters with her and she was just as upset about it as I was. So then by the end of the period I felt like I would be safe in telling her, so I casually told her that I was gay and she was super supportive and glad I told her! We're on a short break from school now, I thought it would be best to tell her and then give her plenty of time to adjust to that information and whatever before we saw each other again. Only time will tell if she's actually into me, maybe if she's just a straight girl who can be really hands-on she'll take it down a notch, but all in all I'm glad I told her and don't think it will harm our relationship in anyway. Thanks again!
     
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  4. deaddance

    deaddance Active Member

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    Good on you, you went about it cleverly. Updates?! No? :D
     
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  5. sofa242

    sofa242 Member

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    Congrats! Coming out is definitely the hard part.
     
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  6. erin2

    erin2 Member

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    After coming out to her nothing really changed and our relationship was still exactly the same as before. Our school's prom was coming up and neither of us was going so we decided to hang out that night at her house and watch orphan black together and then we went to our school's after prom. After prom ended at 3:30 am by which time I was exhausted. She had been with her friends most of the night and I with mine, but whenever she passed by me she would always stop and get my attention my gently touching me, on my arm, back, neck, etc and then wave and smile and make sure I was having fun which I thought was incredibly sweet and cute of her to do! When it came time to leave, my friends got on an earlier bus to go back to the high school (we had been at a bowling alley) and she had wanted to stay till the very end so I let my friends leave without me and stayed behind to make sure she was safe and that I would be the one to drive her home because honestly her other friends seem a bit irresponsible and I would never want to leave her with someone I didn't completely trust to keep her safe. When we got on the bus it was very cold and I didn't have a jacket so she let me scoot up right against her and I laid my head against her shoulder and we rode like that the whole way, only exchanging a few words but it was the most at peace I've ever felt in my life. I love being near her,no matter what we're doing. Once I dropped her off at home and went back to my house, I could hardly sleep going over and over again what had happened on the bus and how happy I was when I was with her. I knew I couldn't keep the fact that I liked her a secret for much longer because it was driving me crazy! I ended up talking to my best friend all about it and how I felt about the girl and she encouraged me to tell her how I felt since she's generally a very understanding person and had taken my coming out as if it was no big deal. So I told her. I said that I really liked her and was attracted to her and that if she didn't feel the same I would completely understand but I thought that she should at least know, if anything it could be a nice compliment to her. She ended up rejecting me, but I swear it was the sweetest rejection anyone could ever receive. She actually apologized to me for not feeling the same!! She said she's straight but realizes how brave it was for me to tell her how I felt and that she still wants us to stay friends, she even wants to hang out more and said that she liked snuggling up with me on the bus but could understand if I wasn't up for that anymore. So it turns out she's just super cuddly and maybe it's best for me to back off and give myself some space to get over her, but to honest, I just can't! If she wants to snuggle, hey, we'll snuggle. For the foreseeable future, no other cute, sweet girls will be coming my way probably until I graduate high school, so if I can snuggle up with the one I've got, even if it's strictly platonic, I'll take what I can get. Sometimes having cute little daydreams of a girl can be nice and hopefully I won't get hurt in the end. I'm even taking her out for ice cream next Saturday, I'm paying and driving which I consider to be a date and jokingly told her that's exactly what it is. Really I just owe her for a favor she did for me so it's not like a real real date, but I'm still excited for it! Sorry about this super long ridiculous update but I'm just so happy about how things worked out even if I was rejected
     
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