Hi from Essex, UK

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by sjk1985, Jun 5, 2015.

  1. sjk1985

    sjk1985 New Member

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    Hi guys,

    Just out of a serious long term relationship, looking for friendship, people to talk to, socialise with and maybe more in the future who knows?

    It has been about 3 weeks since my break up and I am still pretty raw about it, it happened pretty much out of the blue for me. But I've got out of the crying my eyes out everyday stage. (yay, progress)

    It was a loving relationship, that lasted about 9 years and 11 months (our anniversary would have been on the 24th), not a day went by I didn't say "I love you" we had some awesome adventures on holidays covering a lot of the USA, had a lovely (rented) 2 bedroom house, a dog, and we were due to get married next year, we had our own little business as well as full time jobs and were planning on saving for a deposit on a house after the wedding which was going to be amazing, we had most of it booked and paid for.

    After calling her out that she had been distant for the past few weeks, she shrugged it off and said she was stressed at work and we had a busy month coming up with our own business so I agreed to take on more responsibilities at home like take over walking the dog more on her turn and pay more attention to her, take her out on dates and be more affectionate etc, after which I got the whole "It's not you it's me" "We are different people now" "It's not what I want any more" I was so shocked and angry. People work through far bigger problems than this everyday, I feel like it's so unfair to throw everything away because there isn't the passion there used to be.

    We never had arguments, I never stopped her doing what she wanted to do, seeing who she wanted to see and pushed her to achieve her dreams, it got to the point that I was cheerleading her so much I didn't invest in myself, everything I done was for the good of "US" it got so far and I started to feel worthless and when I needed love, support and reassurance I got "See you later"

    I've lost my house, my dog, my best friend, my fiancée and all my plans for the future, I'm back living with my parents at 30 and looking to build myself back up.

    I know she has used this website in the past as have I so if she sees this I don't want to make her uncomfortable but I need to get my life back in order. I also don't want anyone slagging her off, she has her reasons for wanting out of the relationship, and there are 2 sides to every story, just not sure if I will ever get to hear the full truth of it. So, I can only give you mine.

    I felt like I knew her 100%, I knew her thoughts and feelings about everything, I could predict how she would react to situations and that there was never any question that we were going to be together for the rest of our lives, it seemed we had something so special that no one would even get close to being as happy as us, and after nearly 10 years I feel that actually I don't know her at all, that she is a different person now. It's a horrible feeling.

    I tried to sign up to pinkcupid a few days ago, saw the profile of someone I thought I'd like to talk to, showed interest, she showed interest back, great. Can't ACTUALLY message someone without paying like £25 for a months access, I'm all for investing in a future but that is ridiculous! Hopefully she recognises the photo and is a member here, she looked like a nice person. Tried looking her up on Facebook but no luck, I'm sure I am a lot easier to find on there so maybe she will bother to try.
     
    #1
  2. aussie_gabby

    aussie_gabby Well-Known Member

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    Geez sounds like you've had a rough time. I'm gald you're out of the cry your eyes out stage, that's the worst.

    If you're only 3 weeks out of a long term relationship have you thought about being ready to date again? It's alright sometimes to take a month and figure out how to be by yourself again.

    Don't get me wrong, I'm a beliver in a good rebound (as long as everyone involved knows it's just a casual thing). The thing is, when you've been I a relationship for so long dating too early doesn't work out so well!

    I hope you are feeling better each day!
     
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    Dreamcatcher and sjk1985 like this.
  3. sjk1985

    sjk1985 New Member

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    I'm primarily looking for friendship rather than actively seeking out a relationship. It's nice to just have a chat with people that understand being in a relationship with a girl. lol
     
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