Hi everyone!

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by NoodleyGoodness, Dec 1, 2016.

  1. NoodleyGoodness

    NoodleyGoodness New Member

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    Hi!
    Just came onto the site, and I hear news about it changing?
    Argh.
    Anyways, hoping to get some advice, since I've come out as gay to my Dad and best friend, but questioning myself because I "haven't experienced anything (relationship-wise)" and my anxiety tends to pull that apart. Would love to hear some feedback!
     
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  2. Greg

    Greg Well-Known Member

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    Hey NG! Lovely to meet you. Well, folks who've been more active on the site and for longer could explain far better than I, but I agree, it's a shame activity's been dwindling. You and I have something in common, as my Dad is also my best friend. Unlike many people (from the way it seems), I never wanted a better Dad and couldn't ask for a better one. I, on the other hand, don't have anxiety, but clinical depression...which I got from my Mom. To say the least, my Mom is not my best friend. But anyhow, I digress. Cheers!! —Greg
     
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  3. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Welcome to AE. Yes, it sucks about the site changing, but there are still some people here. I decided to stay, just because it's a way to be there for people like you.

    I started coming out when I was your age. (I did the 'bi now, gay later plan from 16 to 18, then admitted I was totally gay at 18).

    I don't think that you have to have a relationship to know your sexuality. You also don't have to have everything all figured out, or neatly categorized for everyone else. Sexuality is a spectrum- emotional, sexual and romantic attraction. It can be much more complicated than 'gay, bi, hetero.' Every person is somewhere different on that spectrum. Maybe you are 100% into women. Maybe you are 100% into women, but also are attracted to people who are trans or androgynous. Whatever you are, that's ok. And whatever you are, you don't have to simplify it to fit into preconceived labels.

    It is ok to say 'I know that I am attracted to women, but I am still exploring my sexuality. I consider myself 'queer.' It's ok to acknowledge that you are attracted to women and just explore that, without pressure. Sexuality is about more than who you are dating. It's also about your attractions, fantasies, etc... It's ok to just analyze your experiences honestly 'I get crushes on girls, I want to kiss another girl, I love watching x,y,x gay couple on tv.' In the end, these details tell you more about your sexuality than a generic label of 'bi, gay, etc...' will. It will tell you- ok, I crush hard on butch women. I would like to try and date a butch woman.'

    Don't doubt your sexuality just because it doesn't fit neatly into a label. And don't doubt that your desires say a lot about your sexuality.

    Good luck and post more if you need.
     
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  4. rainydaze

    rainydaze Well-Known Member

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    NoodleyGoodness,
    Congratulations on the courageous step of coming out! That can be really tough to do!
    There are some good people here still hanging around, so feel free to check in and ask questions. There is also a "Coming Out" section (if you haven't already checked it out), so you may find some support there and may be able to relate to some other members' experiences.
    Welcome, Welcome!:)
     
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