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Discussion in 'General Advice' started by SritaA, Aug 25, 2015.
I know a lady who likes feminine men but she does not like women that way, not at all. There is nothing strange about your feelings. Try to get yourself out there and have a couple of dates and find out. Someone who likes doing some of the things you like to do and happens to be butch, you know.
I'm the same as you in the sense that I, in no way, find genitalia attractive at all. Friends of mine would say how much they love vagina and I just sort of shrug and say it's what it's attached to that I like. I'm a bit indifferent to it and they found that strange.
So yeah, you're not alone and I don't think it's any kind of problem you need to be worrying about
Hmm havin small crushes on butch tomboy or more masculine female does not make you a lesbian... bein in relationship with one makes you lesbian or bisexual or whatever you indetified yourself as..
Now as in about figuring out what youre so confused about.. I would assume you came from a small town yeah? where people ar not open with their sexuality?? Like the dating pool is not as big as a atlantic ocean... maybe its like a puddle or something? Hmm How about having some online friend from outside the country someone from america, england, NZ, somewhere where people can be open about their sexuality and maybe not being call "F****" as much
There is plenty of website where you can make friend from all over the world e.g interpals, IG, tumblr (especially tumblr since people of tumblr is very open minded and they gives you some helpful advices) by the way AE is one of the sites too
And I understand how you feel about not "date" experminenting because of how small the society is.. especially if its asian country the rumor of you being gay will speard faster than any STDs known to human kind... not to mention this is something you, yourself is still figuring out and not sure about...
so I recommend you to talk to someone whose really open minded and not all about I love vagina and I love penis because I'm indentified as specific sexuality... seriously being LBGTQA+ is not always about genitals... its so much more...
Now I myself indientified as bisexual and I have no hard time figuring out what I am considering I have a very supportive friends, fams, and significant other at the time but I can imagine if you live in society where ibeing gay is not higly exposed or if its a taboo thing.. sexuality such as being lesbian or gay is something that you would sweeps under the rug or something that you would never think about...
I'm not sure any of the things I'm saying is helping BUT
Have you heard about Asexual? Or Demisexual?
Watch this it might help... or it might not
Lastly if you need someone to talk to.. I'm a good listener hahha
I think it is great that you offer people one on one help.
I say, stop worrying about labels and just follow your feelings. Don't put a lot of thought into it. You say you have felt attracted to a person then pursue that and see how it goes. If they ask if you are lesbian or not then just say you are confused but you feel something for them. The best way to handle this is to be yourself and to be truthful.
I can so relate to this thread.
I remember all my female friends going crazy about boys about who they'd like to 'jump into bed' with whatever cute guy caught their eyes. I never got those same vibes about any guy. I did get crushes on females, but it wasn't on the same level as what they were feeling. Just thought it would come later. I had boyfriends, where thankfully I could keep sex from becoming an issue (I did end up having two children later in my twenties).
Now that I'm in my mid-forties, and I'm still wondering about my sexuality. I know others always say not to worry about labels. But it's not that cut and dry. Not knowing often leaves one feeling lonely and full of questions.